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| The Goddess Durga, the embodiment of all the feminine Hindu deities, loving and powerful, who combats all evil and wrong doing. |
At last I am finally able to take up sending regular Durga Tantra School and the Tantra Sacred Massage™ newsletters as well as updating my websites and writing and posting here in Leandra's Journal. I apologise for the long pause in communication. Since my last newsletter many months ago, my life has been in a progressive process of change, some quite dramatic, some really subtle. Not knowing what direction my life would take, both professionally and personally, I found it impossible to write a newsletter, write articles and plan workshops and retreats. To those of you who have waited faithfully so long, as well as all the newly signed up people, I send a big thank you for waiting and I hope it will prove to be worthwhile.
The year 2014 was a year of tremendous upheaval and change for me. Looking back, I recognise it as a year of the removal of all aspects of life that were eating away my energy and preventing me from moving forward. This included people who were draining me with their behavioural patterns, as well as my own personal behavioural patterns that inhibited my real self finding form and materialising. For some time, I had been in a constant state of crisis. I thought I needed to retire from working life completely and pursue other personal interests that had been neglected in order to find serenity.
In the midst of this, in September, I was diagnosed with a mango sized tumour that needed urgent removal and as a result I had major surgery from which I ended up needing three whole months of daily nursing care to recover physically. The long recovery time gifted me with a period of rest and time feel into what my life had become. I found much that needed changing.
A further period of nearly three months was needed before a vision of which direction to take and where I wanted to go emerged. In fact it took me by surprise when it emerged, not as an idea but quite practically. Individually, a number of people arrived on my contacted me all requesting training in Tantra Sacred Massage™. Suddenly I had a small group of dedicated participants for this training and found myself busy facilitating it to my deep enjoyment.
The full emergence of the vision of where I would be going, came in the form of an exceptionally well trained and experienced facilitator, who participated in the training and joined the Durga Tantra School with the passion of the masculine in full form: the actor, writer, director, voice and drama coach - Jason Potgieter!
As I write this, over the Easter weekend in a small secluded cottage on the top of a mountain in the Swartland, we are busy formulating the direction in which the Durga Tantra School will be mobilising very soon this year. It appears that without much of my own doing, the direction and the space for new growth has emerged and I am now committed to this going forward once again.
After the operation, I felt an inner and outer vitality that had long been missing, it however had no direction. Now, the masculine provided the inspiration and navigated the direction! The will, the desire and a deep longing to continue the work I had been doing for the past 12 years is once again strong. The dance of the masculine and feminine, when they dance well together in total support of each other is beautiful - strong and graceful at the same time. I had lost the vision I once had for Durga Tantra School over the last years and Jason knew what was needed to revive it again.
In addition to this, the participants of the Tantra Sacred Massage™ practitioner training took up their work and provided further support of directed growth. Things began looking really good again!
The removal of the tumour became a symbol for what was needed in order for something new to emerge which could enable me to move whole heartedly back into all levels of my life. Space was needed into which that which was new could grow. When the space was there, growth began.
During the months of hospitalisation and home nursing, I had to neglect my usual hairdressing visits and missed out keeping up my hairstyle and dyed red hair colour! As my hair grew and some previously hidden grey tones became visible, I became curious about my present real hair colour, something I hadn't seen for years! This curiosity was accompanied by a deeper embracing of my physical aging. Funnily enough, I had not had long hair since my late twenties and now, at 63 I found myself wearing a pony tail again...only with some lovely natural grey strands (well quite a few actually), which I found I really liked! It was as if a re-birthing had taken place. This was an embracing of a new me, not a return to who I had been before all the turmoil and the operation. Rather a new identity, not completely new, not completely formed, but one that incorporates the wisdom and clarity that perhaps only age can bring. I feel wonderful with this new me and I celebrate this with the new profile photo of how I look today.
Thus it has been all my life, in crucial transformative phases, when things feel devoid of inspiration and direction, Existence, the Divine, Father-Mother God steps in and nudges me forward, offering exactly what is needed to facilitate the necessary internal growth that has to precede external expression. This is in itself a very tantric process.
Thank you Existence for your never ending abundance and the lessons placed in my path. Since embracing the path of Tantra whole heartedly some 13 years ago, I have a way of experiencing life that takes me intensely into the depth of my very being while incorporating all of my body, my senses, emotions and spirituality.
Thank you all of you for your encouragement, your patience and continued interest in the work I do.
The year 2014 was a year of tremendous upheaval and change for me. Looking back, I recognise it as a year of the removal of all aspects of life that were eating away my energy and preventing me from moving forward. This included people who were draining me with their behavioural patterns, as well as my own personal behavioural patterns that inhibited my real self finding form and materialising. For some time, I had been in a constant state of crisis. I thought I needed to retire from working life completely and pursue other personal interests that had been neglected in order to find serenity.
In the midst of this, in September, I was diagnosed with a mango sized tumour that needed urgent removal and as a result I had major surgery from which I ended up needing three whole months of daily nursing care to recover physically. The long recovery time gifted me with a period of rest and time feel into what my life had become. I found much that needed changing.
A further period of nearly three months was needed before a vision of which direction to take and where I wanted to go emerged. In fact it took me by surprise when it emerged, not as an idea but quite practically. Individually, a number of people arrived on my contacted me all requesting training in Tantra Sacred Massage™. Suddenly I had a small group of dedicated participants for this training and found myself busy facilitating it to my deep enjoyment.
The full emergence of the vision of where I would be going, came in the form of an exceptionally well trained and experienced facilitator, who participated in the training and joined the Durga Tantra School with the passion of the masculine in full form: the actor, writer, director, voice and drama coach - Jason Potgieter!
As I write this, over the Easter weekend in a small secluded cottage on the top of a mountain in the Swartland, we are busy formulating the direction in which the Durga Tantra School will be mobilising very soon this year. It appears that without much of my own doing, the direction and the space for new growth has emerged and I am now committed to this going forward once again.
After the operation, I felt an inner and outer vitality that had long been missing, it however had no direction. Now, the masculine provided the inspiration and navigated the direction! The will, the desire and a deep longing to continue the work I had been doing for the past 12 years is once again strong. The dance of the masculine and feminine, when they dance well together in total support of each other is beautiful - strong and graceful at the same time. I had lost the vision I once had for Durga Tantra School over the last years and Jason knew what was needed to revive it again.
In addition to this, the participants of the Tantra Sacred Massage™ practitioner training took up their work and provided further support of directed growth. Things began looking really good again!
The removal of the tumour became a symbol for what was needed in order for something new to emerge which could enable me to move whole heartedly back into all levels of my life. Space was needed into which that which was new could grow. When the space was there, growth began.
During the months of hospitalisation and home nursing, I had to neglect my usual hairdressing visits and missed out keeping up my hairstyle and dyed red hair colour! As my hair grew and some previously hidden grey tones became visible, I became curious about my present real hair colour, something I hadn't seen for years! This curiosity was accompanied by a deeper embracing of my physical aging. Funnily enough, I had not had long hair since my late twenties and now, at 63 I found myself wearing a pony tail again...only with some lovely natural grey strands (well quite a few actually), which I found I really liked! It was as if a re-birthing had taken place. This was an embracing of a new me, not a return to who I had been before all the turmoil and the operation. Rather a new identity, not completely new, not completely formed, but one that incorporates the wisdom and clarity that perhaps only age can bring. I feel wonderful with this new me and I celebrate this with the new profile photo of how I look today.
Thus it has been all my life, in crucial transformative phases, when things feel devoid of inspiration and direction, Existence, the Divine, Father-Mother God steps in and nudges me forward, offering exactly what is needed to facilitate the necessary internal growth that has to precede external expression. This is in itself a very tantric process.
Thank you Existence for your never ending abundance and the lessons placed in my path. Since embracing the path of Tantra whole heartedly some 13 years ago, I have a way of experiencing life that takes me intensely into the depth of my very being while incorporating all of my body, my senses, emotions and spirituality.
Thank you all of you for your encouragement, your patience and continued interest in the work I do.
As always, I send all the readers much love,
Your Leandra
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