My first week of Tantra Sacred Massage in JHB was great. I was fully booked with a waiting list and my feeling at the end of the week was that it had been a truly meaningful time. I would like to thank all of the clients who found their way to me, for their trust in my work, for their openness and willingness to receive, not only the massage but the love I imparted and the message of Existence’s love in the hours of closeness, intimacy and learning we spent together.
There seems to be four main groups of clients coming to Tantra:
- clients with sexual difficulties such as men with pre-mature ejaculation, women with lack of orgasms, some clients with more general difficulties around intimacy such as lack of emotionality in love making, inability to enjoy close body to body touching or unable to switch off the mind
- married couples wanting rejuvenating in their love life after years of being busy at work and in the home
- men who are feeling lonely in long marriages; children grown up, sex life come to a halt, getting older and a growing fear of loosing potency.
- Underlying all this, it is the lack of warmth, a longing for touch, being loved and held that is the real motivation
- deeply seeking men who have long felt there is more to life than what they have achieved, what they are living and experiencing in their lives. These are mostly guys who have reached their goals and are basically happy but have a certain emptiness or yearning for something deeper and, in a more real sense, fulfilling.
I had one exception to the really great people I met. My first experience in JHB was a last-minute booking. He came, I assume, expecting something else – an erotic massage a-la "get it over with" type of thing – and was not seeking in any way. He was abusive in that he showed no respect for the goddess I hold within myself. He showed no gratefulness for the love received and no interest in sharing afterwards about the experience. He seemed desperately wanting to “just” orgasm, which he couldn't, and I felt an inner aggression in his body and experienced this in his attitude when he left.
Without looking at me he walked past me as I held open the door, saying “cheers” from his back. I felt degraded for a moment and turned to Existence’s unfailing love for comfort. What I realized is that he mostly hurt not me but himself. He degraded himself, behaving nothing like the embodiment of the god he should perceive himself to be. I felt such compassion for him afterwards: I felt his loneliness, his inability to open up to anything real and his utter frustration with who he is and with life in general. Hopefully, the encounter with Existence’s love through Tantra Sacred Massage will touch him in some way sometime in his life, so that he too can find the ever present comfort, love and support that Existence always offers us – if only we are open and willing enough to receive it.
What did I learn from this? Well, firstly there will be no more last-minute bookings in future!
The bit of emailing about booking times and payment seem to be important as a preparation time. Something takes place in the mind (a changing mind-set, a feeling of anticipation, fantasies about what it will be like) and something takes place in the heart (a growing willingness, an openness to receive, a yearning for the experience) and this appears to be so important in the weeks and days before our encounter.
I also learnt that the goddess I embody - the goddess every woman embodies - cannot be degraded in the connectedness to the Divine. The initial feeling of degradation dissolved rashly into a feeling of compassion and sadness. Once again Existence’s love coming through, as it always does when the willingness to receive is at hand. My perception of myself grew through this experience, be it one that I do not want to encounter again.
Here on the KZN south coast, I am also becoming busy. Apart for single men coming mainly from Durban during the week, I have many couples coming over weekends. This work is intense over the 2 days that they are here. In between sessions: the quiet, the sea, the wind, the fish eagle nesting across the river valley, the changing colours of nature - my therapy, my direct link to Existence. Just watching the beauty of it all, the changing colours of nature, showing me time and time again the vastness of what we call life, is so comforting. It allows me a feeling of wholeness, of connectedness with the beauty of it all.
This is also the feeling I have in the work. Tantra Sacred Massage is glorious in every sense! I am so grateful to have been given this gift.
Again, a big thank you to all of you for your receptiveness and faith.
Namasté
Leandra
