In my personal circle of friends, I am being met with a variety of reactions to my association with Tantra. Often the reactions are great, people start opening up about their sexuality and interest in Tantra and it is quite amazing to find how many individuals and couples there are, who have been reading the web or buying books and DVD’s on the subject.
On the other hand, I have also been met with a great deal of fear and rejection. This does not concern me personally, I know who I am and what I do and personal projections of inner repressions do not bother me much. What concerns me is the lack of understanding of what Tantra is about that prevalent in our society. The background for this is that very little Tantra is being practiced in our country and within that, what is being practiced is more often than not, not the real thing. But behind this is something else.
The nature of our society here in SA is actually a society against anything sexual – much more so than in Europe where there is quite an open-minded attitude. Our Calvinistic Christian background has much to do with this. In Germany, the prevalence of Martin Luther’s teachings allows for much acceptance amidst a wide variety of people and lifestyles. There, people have for many, many years held an attitude of tolerance towards others ways and practices. The laws of the country allow much more freedom for the individual and protection of individual rights and lifestyles this than here – in spite of our liberal constitution.
So, on this background, what is it that certain people are reacting to when they hear that I am a Tantra coach?
It is their fantasies about Tantra and what it entails, coupled with a staunch conservative upbringing which negates our sexual nature completely and which in turn, allows their fantasies to flourish. The perception is that practicing Tantra means all you become interested in is sex, and that tantrikers run around all day thinking of sex – in fact further, it makes anyone who is at ease with the sexual and their sexuality somehow “bad people”.
I sometimes get the impression that some people think of me as a sex-maniac of sorts. This results in false projections for example, when I am affectionate or speak openly of sexual matters. Some people like to think my openness is equivalent to making a sexual advance, others prefer to simply think of me as a “lost” human being whereas, actually, the opposite is always true.
All this is, is a reflection of their own minds, their own pre-occupation with sexuality, their own fears of “giving in” to what they would actually like for themselves, namely to be free of constraints that are limiting in any way. They are unaware that living a tantric life does not make one a “focused on the sexual” human being, but rather takes that prevalent focus away and places the focus more on becoming an open, free and non-judgmental human being – which to me is what spirituality is about.
The realization that we are not separate but entirely connected with each other and with all of life, that you are a part of me and I am a part of you, is what connects us with each other, and in this we are all connected with Divine, God. To me, this realisation opens one up to a spiritual attitude towards life - no matter what your religious conviction is. Buddhism and Hinduism come closest to this where there is a clear understanding that we are all Divine, part of God. If I truly know this, how can I reject something in you – I would be rejecting a part of my own being.
The other aspect that is not useful to open-mindedness, is the connotation that everything from the east can only be of the devil, be it simple yoga classes or good advanced sexual education, and that we must stay virgins until marriage and then have sex pretty quickly and certainly not passionately. This stems strongly from a strong dogmatic “born again” Christian trend in this country. The “promise” of going to hell when Christ comes again, is indeed deeply disturbing and threatening. I know this from experience, as part of my path in finding the Truth about life, love and the Divine, was a journey of some years through such a church.
It saddens me to see how limited people are. It saddens me more to see how limiting their attitudes towards others and towards the whole of life can be. What they are not aware of, is the limitations they impose on others, limit themselves the most.
The opposite of all these projections is actually true. I have found that sex is far less on my mind since finding Tantra. This is because the sexual is no longer repressed, no longer has to be hidden. There is no need to restrict anything and in so doing, I have become more pre-occupied with all the wonders of life, sex is simply one of them.
Tantra does not make you more sexual than you already are. We are sexual beings. It is the repression of this very real fact of life, that makes it all bad. Loose your repression and you understand your true nature more, you no longer need to be secretive about sexual matters, or openly blatant about it. Sex becomes something so natural, like brushing your teeth - well almost! And when it is natural, you loose the constant, crazy search for sexual relief. Taking up Tantra in a serious manor will teach you to be orgasmic at every level of your life - can it get better than that?
It teaches you to experience pleasure in a more intensive way, you become grateful for the little mundane things in life and this on a high level. That makes you more satisfied that you could ever be through a sexual encounter or a bombastic orgasm. That is over so quickly and then everything is back to normal, till next time. Understanding the sexual as something spiritual will give you much more than you can imagine. It sets you free from the constant race for that orgasm. Why should you, you have it all within yourself! It allows the expression of your sexuality to become fuller, more satisfying because all of you is involved - not just your genitals. Your body, mind and soul (to use one of those regular esoteric phrases) becomes involved and that gives you more satisfaction, more discernment, more awareness than in a regular sexual encounter.
In writng this, I would like to encourage those of you who are hesitating on account of such above mentioned conditioning restrictions, to start the journey at some point that you find acceptable and see where it leads you. Our progress is entirely individual and there is no set route, no expectations causing distress – simply a wonderful journey to the very centre of your being, which is Divine.
Namaste
Leandra
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Monday, January 1, 2007
1st January 2007 - It's a new year again!
It's a new year again! How quickly this comes, a momentary transition.
I have spent the festive season in training. My gift on Christmas day was, after some months of intense correspondence, finally meeting the international tantric touch and Tantra massage specialist Ron Solo, who had just flown in from Australia, and beginning the practical training with him. This culminated in the one-day tantric touch workshop on the 30th which we facilitated together. My tantric journey in the days before the workshop went deep - my experience of Tantra with trained and experienced tantrikers has always been like this. This took me to even further depths of my soul and being, and I have come out of this training invigorated, motivated and transformed. Experiencing, learning never ceases and so transformation is inevitable.
Facilitating the workshop together was a highlight for me. We had 15 participants from all over South Africa – Cape Town, Durban, Pretoria, and of course Johannesburg, where the workshop took place – all of whom went away with a new experience of what sensual touch can be. It was a wonderful experience for all and the feedbacks we are receiving are encouraging and motivating. I will be holding similar workshops around SA in the course of this year. In addition to this, my own planned workshops (more in the German tradition of Tantra workshops), will be on the program which will appear shortly here on my website and on The School of Durga Tantra website, which I am currently working on.
One of the things that my experiences this last year have endorsed in me, is the fact that it is necessary to have continual training if I am to put a true message out there of what Tantra is about. I have had extremely varying experiences with teachers of Tantra. The self taught teachers lack a number of things which are exceptionally important:
As I mentioned earlier, part of the training is learning the value of total trust and understanding the vulnerability you submit into, which brings a dimension not possible in personal relationships.
There is nothing wrong with self-teaching, it should however be used for one’s self and not as a teaching to experiment with and impose on others. This can and should be used privately, not professionally. Working on such an intimate level actually requires a great deal of qualified training and experience. My qualification in the expressive psychotherapies required many years of training, and together with over 20 years year's of professional work in the field of experiential psychotherapies, allows me to voice such an opinion from a professional standpoint. What this practice results in is a crashing through personal boundaries, a subtle manipulation and control which ultimately has no purpose but to make the giver feel great. It also opens the door to teachings which are biased and not a true rendition of what Tantra is. This does not do Tantra any good. It also does not do the individual any good.
I know all this from personal experience. It has happened to me here in SA (and only here - the Europeans tend to be much more professional in their approach) and I have seen it happen here to others. I was able to deal extremely well with the manipulative encroachment on my person and taken it for what it was, a learning curve. But will this be the case for the younger, less experienced person? This worries me deeply.
We are extremely vulnerable when it comes to Tantra here in SA. There is little choice to make educated, free choices. In Europe, where there is an abundance of schools and teachers and a large tantric community, this is an entirely different situation. My endeavour this 2007, is to bring a quality of Tantra to South Africa that is comparable with the high standard and quality of work being done internationally. I will also be returning to Germany later this year to further my training with qualified and experienced trainers. I cannot possibly imagine why anyone would want to miss out on getting this kind of valuable input. I have a deep desire to grow, to learn, to progress. I long for encounters with people like Klaus Smedts and Ron Solo, they have given me so much on a very deep personal level, as well as immeasurably valuable training for the work I do.
I find it particularly exciting to have learnt from Ron that there was a vibrant, small tantric community in JHB during the 60ties and 70ties - brought to SA by two women who had received training in Europe and the UK. Even more exciting, is the fact that I have been given the privilege of bringing this quality of Tantra to SA again. I take this on with gratitude and joy and with a feeling of responsibility.
It is with this feeling of deep gratitude that I begin 2007. For the many clients who entrusted themselves to my work in 2006 - it is from you that I continually learn. Thank you so much for your faith in what I do.
For the two intense trainings with wonderful teachers last year, the influences of both of which have, and are finding their way into my own work. The blessings of my trainers, Klaus Smedts and Ron Solo, both of whom I deeply admire, accompany me into this new year of tantric work.
I wish you all a blessed 2007. May you all have many moments of joy and bliss and whatever your journey is, remember there is a beginning, but there is no ending. It is the journey itself that makes each moment so special. In the hardest moments of life are the deepest lessons to be learnt. Accept these with gratitude and experience what a difference it makes. Hardship does not disappear, but it the willingness to accept what is in your path, moves you in a different way and allows you to transform and to grow.
Namaste
Leandra
I have spent the festive season in training. My gift on Christmas day was, after some months of intense correspondence, finally meeting the international tantric touch and Tantra massage specialist Ron Solo, who had just flown in from Australia, and beginning the practical training with him. This culminated in the one-day tantric touch workshop on the 30th which we facilitated together. My tantric journey in the days before the workshop went deep - my experience of Tantra with trained and experienced tantrikers has always been like this. This took me to even further depths of my soul and being, and I have come out of this training invigorated, motivated and transformed. Experiencing, learning never ceases and so transformation is inevitable.
Facilitating the workshop together was a highlight for me. We had 15 participants from all over South Africa – Cape Town, Durban, Pretoria, and of course Johannesburg, where the workshop took place – all of whom went away with a new experience of what sensual touch can be. It was a wonderful experience for all and the feedbacks we are receiving are encouraging and motivating. I will be holding similar workshops around SA in the course of this year. In addition to this, my own planned workshops (more in the German tradition of Tantra workshops), will be on the program which will appear shortly here on my website and on The School of Durga Tantra website, which I am currently working on.
One of the things that my experiences this last year have endorsed in me, is the fact that it is necessary to have continual training if I am to put a true message out there of what Tantra is about. I have had extremely varying experiences with teachers of Tantra. The self taught teachers lack a number of things which are exceptionally important:
- they lack the experience of being on the receiving end of the teaching, and thus do not know what it means to be in the vulnerability it takes to submit to such deep processes.
- they lack the experience of submitting to a teacher, which requires a deep trusting, in itself part of the experience and so important in Tantra. They therefore also lack the feeling of strong willingness to learn from someone else.
- they lack the input of people experienced in a tantric lifestyle and qualified for tantric work. Their knowledge, from books and videos, is extremely limited. More importantly, they assimilate knowledge that they then put into practice with "guinea pigs" who are actually real people and who deserve more. Practicing on personal friends and lovers, i.e. in personal relationships, does not do what the submission to training can achieve.
As I mentioned earlier, part of the training is learning the value of total trust and understanding the vulnerability you submit into, which brings a dimension not possible in personal relationships.
There is nothing wrong with self-teaching, it should however be used for one’s self and not as a teaching to experiment with and impose on others. This can and should be used privately, not professionally. Working on such an intimate level actually requires a great deal of qualified training and experience. My qualification in the expressive psychotherapies required many years of training, and together with over 20 years year's of professional work in the field of experiential psychotherapies, allows me to voice such an opinion from a professional standpoint. What this practice results in is a crashing through personal boundaries, a subtle manipulation and control which ultimately has no purpose but to make the giver feel great. It also opens the door to teachings which are biased and not a true rendition of what Tantra is. This does not do Tantra any good. It also does not do the individual any good.
I know all this from personal experience. It has happened to me here in SA (and only here - the Europeans tend to be much more professional in their approach) and I have seen it happen here to others. I was able to deal extremely well with the manipulative encroachment on my person and taken it for what it was, a learning curve. But will this be the case for the younger, less experienced person? This worries me deeply.
We are extremely vulnerable when it comes to Tantra here in SA. There is little choice to make educated, free choices. In Europe, where there is an abundance of schools and teachers and a large tantric community, this is an entirely different situation. My endeavour this 2007, is to bring a quality of Tantra to South Africa that is comparable with the high standard and quality of work being done internationally. I will also be returning to Germany later this year to further my training with qualified and experienced trainers. I cannot possibly imagine why anyone would want to miss out on getting this kind of valuable input. I have a deep desire to grow, to learn, to progress. I long for encounters with people like Klaus Smedts and Ron Solo, they have given me so much on a very deep personal level, as well as immeasurably valuable training for the work I do.
I find it particularly exciting to have learnt from Ron that there was a vibrant, small tantric community in JHB during the 60ties and 70ties - brought to SA by two women who had received training in Europe and the UK. Even more exciting, is the fact that I have been given the privilege of bringing this quality of Tantra to SA again. I take this on with gratitude and joy and with a feeling of responsibility.
It is with this feeling of deep gratitude that I begin 2007. For the many clients who entrusted themselves to my work in 2006 - it is from you that I continually learn. Thank you so much for your faith in what I do.
For the two intense trainings with wonderful teachers last year, the influences of both of which have, and are finding their way into my own work. The blessings of my trainers, Klaus Smedts and Ron Solo, both of whom I deeply admire, accompany me into this new year of tantric work.
I wish you all a blessed 2007. May you all have many moments of joy and bliss and whatever your journey is, remember there is a beginning, but there is no ending. It is the journey itself that makes each moment so special. In the hardest moments of life are the deepest lessons to be learnt. Accept these with gratitude and experience what a difference it makes. Hardship does not disappear, but it the willingness to accept what is in your path, moves you in a different way and allows you to transform and to grow.
Namaste
Leandra
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