Death is a strange thing. We know our whole lives about the fact of death, but when it enters our personal experience of life, it hits us like a brick wall. Until experienced at close quarters, we have no idea just what it feels like to be confronted with it.
As children we still have a natural curiosity about in death. I remember how my daughter took great interest in dead beetles or a dead new born bird that had fallen out of its nest lying on the pavement. She asked questions like “Where is it now?” and “What does “dead” mean?” and found the whole matter, not alarming, but rather interesting.
We lose this natural capacity to be curious about death as we grow older and learn that it is one of the taboo themes, slowly but surely, encroaching our lives. It is hushed, not openly spoken about, until at some stage, it seems not to belong to life at all - except for in insurance policies and news items. Death thus slowly becomes something to be fearful about. Other than that, it becomes a quiet thing in our lives, a stranger – until such time as we are personally confronted with it in one way or another.
My own relationship with death prior to the recent passing of my father was really quite good. Part of my tantric initiation was facing my fears around dying...and growing up in South Africa with burglar guards and security firms, violence on street corners and sometimes a rather brutal law enforcement, it was substantial. Facing these fears, I found a willingness to embrace death as something natural, even beautiful, as my understanding of the natural cycle of our life-force energy, not only in nature, but particularly also as human beings, grew. As my understanding of the naturalness of and what awaits us after death grew, so my fear naturally subsided.
But nothing of this prepared me for the impact it would have on me when my father died. It felt like nothing I had experienced before, it felt totally new and very deep and quite shocking.
The feeling of unchangeable loss was just as much a physical as well as emotional. In Tantra we embrace all feelings, all emotions, all experiences with totality, and we learn to own them completely as our own. Allowing the depth of the experience to increase, we are catapulted into the moment of “what is” completely. As we go from moment to moment in this way, we are truly in life, in living, in experiencing, in being, in being alive with the energy of life. Sometimes this is playful, sometimes joyful, sometimes it feels great. Other times, depending on what it is we are embracing, it almost feels static and overbearing, as if we are shutting down. But, in reality, it never is. In such a moment there are many nuances. Sadness is not just sad. It is so many things. It includes anger, regret and pain but also joy – if only we are willing to see it.
Death is such a thing. It feels sad to those looking on, but in reality it is just as wonderful a celebration as birth itself – only at the opposite end of life as human beings. It is a releasing of human life energy to become fully what we are, what we are meant to be, what we have strived to be and if we are willing, we can experience something of this as we look oh with sadness.
I chose a passage from Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet to read at the family funeral as well as at the large civic memorial service that the city of Durban gave my dad. Being a public figure, we had to, as a family, endure both services within two days of each other, and we wanted both to be a celebration of his life and so they were. This passage from Gibran had great meaning to me. Apart from becoming a fan of his writings as a pseudo-hippy in the late sixties (The Prophet, for all who do not know it, this is a must read on any spiritual path), there is something else that drew me to this passage when I was contemplating what to read at the funeral and memorial service.
My dad was a paraplegic from age three after contracting polio. I knew him from babyhood to have four legs. Two wearing trousers, and two made of wood, their tops covered in dark red, or black or green velvet, and he propelled himself forwards in quite a bumpy fashion. To me it was natural. That was how he was. I don’t recall exactly when it dawned on me that he was different, I assume it did at some stage, he however always remained just my dad and no different from any other dad who was just like something else. He drove a car, we went on holiday every year to his sister’s farm in the then Transvaal and he would drive the eight or nine hours solid to get there. He took us to the beach or to the drive-in, I sat on his lap listening to the wonderful stories he told, he dried my hair with a towel – he did all the things that other fathers generally did with their children. Even when he stopped walking with splints on his legs and crutches under his arms, and took to a wheelchair some time in his sixties, he was simply still just dad.
This changed dramatically for me seeing him in his ICU bed which he occupied for four weeks before passing away. He lay in bed without his splints, without his wheelchair nearby, his torso weakened by the operation he had had, he was helpless, unable to move. His strong shoulders and arms used so much to allow him movement, could no longer hold him, and every move he made, had to be done for him. I enjoyed the closeness this allowed me, as for the first time I was able to touch him as much as I liked. I stroked his head, massaged his feet and hands, and I put my hands under the blankets and stroked his chest and tummy and even his little legs. It was really only during this time that the reality of his physical handicap really impacted on me. And this is why this passage from The Prophet so easily came to mind as something I would want to read at the funeral and memorial.
In the first few days after his passing, I would sit on my veranda listening to the thrashing waves of the Indian Ocean, the comforting sea breeze and the night sounds of the crickets and frogs in my garden, and I would wonder where he is, where his energy had gone, what his consciousness was like. What I “saw” after four weeks of this helplessness, was that he was now dancing, freed from the physicality that he had overcome all of his life to be simply the man he was, fathering three children, becoming a highly respected member of the community, both in business as well as, together with my mom, his life-long humanitarian work, which has left an indelible mark on the city of Durban.
I never really thought about how hard it must have been for him at times, of how much more difficult life for him had been. The pain of realising this was huge and a sense of guilt arose in me, guilt for not understanding this earlier. To me he was always so strong and so capable, that I never saw him as a paraplegic until just before his death. The guilt was short lived. He would not have wanted it otherwise. He never asked for special attention. He led businesses, board meetings, gave talks and took on top roles in commerce and society with ease. Only the on-lookers would hold a breath when they saw him for the first time standing or walking with his crutches. His life was an inspiration to others who are physically challenged; an inspiration to be who they are in spite of the challenges they face. An inspiration to follow their dreams and fulfil their aspirations. Much in the same way as he was, as my dad, a major inspiration in my life.
Some few weeks before he became ill, he watched the interview with me about my work on the Let’s Chat With Mel show on M-net Series and loved it! He thought I was doing wonderful, very necessary work and encouraged me, saying “...you have to write a book”. Two days before he died, he repeated this: “You have to write a book about your work and you have to do it now. Don’t delay, don’t put it off. You must do it right away.” He said this with such determination, that it made a mark on me. I have taken this, his last wish for me, earnestly and I have started! I have a wonderful researcher assisting me and I intend to take time, to make the time, to get this well on its way before the end of the year.
But I digress. I was writing about my evenings on the veranda trying to come to terms with my dad’s death and contemplating where he now was. At some stage a thought came to me: “He is now free of his physical body, he is probably dancing now, dancing somewhere out there”! And thus Gibran’s The Prophet came to mind.
The book is a lovely little story about Almustafa, an old wise man who had lived the final years of his life, a lonely twelve years, in the city of Orphalese waiting for “his ship that was to return and bear him back to the isle of his birth.” On the eve of his final journey, the people of Osphalese finally began gathering to hear what he had to say, and so he returns from the shore to meet them and answer their questions, thinking “Shall the day of parting be the day of gathering? And shall it be said that my eve was in truth my dawn?”
And as the story unravels, the people of Orphalese ask him questions about life. His answers are valid to all of us today and are an inspiration for all aspects of life – about men and women, children, friendship, marriage, love, money, work, pleasure, beauty, prayer, religion ...and much more until the final question came:
“Then Almitra spoke, saying, We would ask now of Death.
And he said:
You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The night owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.
In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.
Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?
For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.”
Namaste
Leandra
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 1, 2010
An introduction to the Path of Tantra
I so often get asked: "What is Tantra really about - is it all about great sex...?", and told how confusing it is looking for answers on the net. There are many paths of Tantra, many ways of teaching, and yes, it can be extremely confusing trying to bring it all down to some kind of understandable common denominator. With this journal entry, I'd like to make an attempt at clarifying some aspects of what Tantra is.
For those wanting to delve more practically into what Tantra is and what it offers, this month's Tantric Fire Couple's Retreats being held in Stanford and the Northern Drakensberg, and the Come Together Single's Retreat in the Northern Drakensberg, are excellent ways to start!
Warm greetings to you all
Leandra
An introduction to the Path of Tantra
Tantric literature on the market today, is often in the form of "how to" sex manuals, promising bigger and better orgasms and more sexual satisfaction. Tantra is however much more than a “school of sex”! It could however be called a “school of love” as it is a teaching of non-judgmental, absolute unconditional love. What it is, is a spiritual path teaching meditation in the most physical moments of human experience, positively encompassing and influencing all aspects of life, particularly relationships of all kinds.
Although we are living in the age of sexual liberation, it is rare to find people enjoying a fulfilling sexuality. The sexual revolution of the sixties in fact, has led to marketing life's most intimate moments, resulting in floods of images that appear to have liberated us from conventional norms but in fact, have simply created a new cliché.
Over and above this, many adults are burdened with sexually repressive conditioning from childhood, education, religion, and in South Africa, we know too well that even politics and governments can play a huge role in how we think and feel and with whom we engage with sexually. We have been led to believe that spirituality and sexuality are divided and we struggle to find meaning in our sexuality.
In addition, the pressures of busy and stressful modern life - of finding that “soul mate” and then the challenge of long lasting relationships and marriage, as well as bringing up children within full working lives - presents an enormous strain on individuals and couples. The principles of our performance-oriented society have forced their way into the bedroom resulting in more and more men and women experiencing sexual difficulties. Intimacy is often reduced to having sex as a kind of sleeping pill at night, resulting in a “quick” release of tension and a general feeling of emptiness. Equally dissatisfying for many individuals is one or other form of living promiscuously, one partner after the other, experiencing intimacy that is not uplifting and lacking in real joy, resulting in lives that are often accompanied by loneliness and a lack of fulfillment.
For many, the only way to combat this is by delving further into a materialistically orientated way or life, thrill seeking activities, substance dependencies and often some form of depression. Yet we long for vitality in our relationships and for a form of spirituality that affirms the unity of body and soul.
Despite the fact that it is thousands of years old, Tantra presents us with a possibility to transcend such difficulties arising from this very modern situation. Tantra cultivates, deepens and spiritualises human nature without presenting it as imperfect or repressing it. Rather than concentrating on physical pleasure alone, Tantra details the mental states to be achieved during sexual activity enabling us to bridge the gap of sexuality and spirituality.
An ever-expanding system that has matured through the ages, Tantra trains the body to improve its capacity for the flow of life energy, giving the mind a higher ability to concentrate, and the soul ease and lightness.
In contrast to traditional psychotherapy, esoteric and other healing modes, Tantra uses the body and its physical expression to work on blockages in the subconscious, embracing the sexual emotionally, physically and spiritually and thus doing, satisfying and amplifying the human soul. Most of us, have forgotten how to contact and live from a place of being whole and perfect already. Tantra shows us the way back home. Sometimes called a path to Enlightenment, to Bliss, Nirvana, Ecstasy, which occurs through the marriage of energy and consciousness, Tantra teaches you how.
From a tantric perspective, each human being is understood as a reflection of the entire cosmos. By entering inside one's own subjective being with a witnessing consciousness, all aspects of the body, mind and emotions are revealed in their refined potential. With the whole person being accepted as divine, each aspect of being human can become a door to expanded consciousness.
What is Tantra?
Tantra is an art, a method and a science, an outlook and a way of life that teaches us how to open our hearts, how to embrace our emotionality and sexuality, enabling us to celebrate the whole of life while recognising the Divine essence within all beings. Tantra is in effect an experiential path of transformation.
Originating in what is now modern India, Tantra is at least 5000-7000 or more years old, pre-dating and influencing both Hinduism and Buddhism. All world religions have subsequently had some form of tantric past, subsequently destroyed by main-stream fundamentalists. The result is that many religions believe you can have either physical pleasure or spiritual growth, but not both. Tantra disagrees entirely. Physical and sensual pleasure is understood as the key to our spiritual growth; without one, you can’t have the other.
The word Tantra is composed of the Sanskrit words for weaving and expansion. By weaving together, accepting and entering deeply into every aspect of our lives, including sexuality, our hearts and minds are able to expand into blissful oneness.
Another word for Tantra is Sacred Sexuality or Spiritual Sexuality. Everyone has their own definition of what is "spiritual" and "sacred" are, but most of us agree it refers to something wonderful, loving, joyous, and transcendent – something beyond us. And yet in Tantra we find that it is within us as well. Central to Tantra is the understanding that sexual energy is our life force, and that the universe and humans as individuals are all filled with the same energy. Sexual energy is reclaimed as sacred, healing the split between body and spirit. Therefore any repression of this energy leaves us unbalanced and damaged. Trauma, (e.g. grief and pain, embarrassment, physical or emotional abuse etc.) is stored in our body as a body memory. The effect of these memories are blockages – repression and limitations - which continue throughout our lives, reducing our emotional and physical well-being, inhibiting our flow of energy and limiting our expression of life and sexuality in one or another way.
Tantra rejects the repressive, moralistic, and self-denying code of living propounded by many religions and cultures, resulting in our emotional, sensual and our body’s sexual needs are met with guilt, repression, denial and punishment. When attention is paid to bodily needs, it’s usually aimed at avoidance, for example of disease or pregnancy. Little attention is paid to the development and expansion of our body’s sensuality and there is no other teaching that shows us how to embrace and value this as does the Path of Tantra. Tantra teaches how to embrace and value your sensual self, the whole of your body including your sexuality and in so doing experience something of who we really are and our relationship to the Divine.
In order to become whole, to grow and blossom as adults, these blockages and repressions need clearing from both our physical and psychic systems. One thing that most religions agree on is the fact that we are more than our physical body. The understanding in Tantra is that, there is actually no separation between our physical body and that which is more than the body. In fact, there is no separation between us and others, between us and the world around us, between us and all of existence. Tantra is a non-dualist understanding of the world. Each and every one of us, in essence, is already divine, whole, and perfect.
In its very essence Tantra is a yoga - the yoga of presence i.e. becoming aware or conscious of what is going on in your body, emotions, and thoughts, learning to accept whatever is arising in the moment without judgment. Sexual energy and our personal expression of sexuality are included in the tantric concept of the body and of life in general. Tantra can therefore be seen as a reconciliation of sexuality and spirituality.
Although tantric strands have emerged within various religions, Tantra itself is not a religion and requires no prior belief system. It is essentially an experiential path leading to gnosis (knowing through experience) or inner wisdom. We learn to go beyond the limitations of the ego, ultimately touching the limitlessness of the Universe and within that, our wholeness. In fact, with Tantra, each sensorial experience offers a door to cosmic consciousness.
How does Tantra do this?
The sensual component of tantric rituals is characterized by creative uses of dance, music, colours, flowers, aroma, food, and particularly our sense of touch. It is systematic, serious and thorough, but also playful, fun and wild, reclaiming the body, mind, and sprit to own as ones own. This leads to inner freedom - freedom to celebrate your body, your sexuality, your soul desires: freedom from fear, from guilt and shame; freedom to breathe and feel deeply; freedom to be fully present in the NOW.
A student of Tantra will at some stage, experience what is called a tantric awakening. This means gaining mastery of the emotions. All negative emotion, when projected toward others, is like a spinning wheel or magnet. It does nothing to address the source of the issue, and hurts ourselves even more than the other.
Two things are essential to, and at the same time the result of a tantric awakening:
1.) Conscious choice or taking responsibility for all our emotions and choices.
Blame and victimization lead to feelings of separateness and neediness. Subconsciously however, we know that we must be more than this. We really do want to create our own destinies and to take rightful ownership of our full power.
2.) Discarding internal agendas that do not serve our highest good.
This means the courage to know ourselves on a deep level, to know what we really want and then how to act on that desire. In other words, surrendering to the soul's desire and knowing that we are pure divinity. We are not the sum of our negative emotions, personal lies and the petty games we play. We are so much more than our judging, self-condemning mind would lead us to believe. We are talented, beautiful, and unique children of God.
The nature of Tantra is experiential. It is not something one can learn from a lecture or a book or by watching a DVD. These can only give ideas and hints. Tantra needs to be, has to be experienced. Whether you are single or in a relationship, you need to practice what you read and see. Your learning is essentially from your experiences. Each personal development in Tantra - physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually - is totally unique. You can begin the Tantric path from wherever you are right now. If you have anger or hurt, you can discover the tremendous potential for spiritual awakening contained within that energy. If you are feeling sexual, this quality becomes a key to open all the secrets of human energy. All you need is a willingness to explore your inner world and be prepared to let go of conditioning and open your heart and soul to joy and bliss.
The best way of experiencing Tantra is with a dedicated and genuine teacher. In ancient times, Tantra being a secret path, teachers were hard to come by and difficult to find. Here in South Africa there are very few trained practitioners. However, there are opportunities in the form of individual sessions as well as weekend retreats. The National Institute of Tantra South Africa sets ethical standards for the work and will in the next few years compile a list of qualified practitioners as they emerge from training.
If you feel ready to begin right now, here are some exercises to begin your journey:
Exercises
1.) Using the senses to come into the body and the Now
Close or blindfold your eyes and focus the other senses (hearing, taste, smell) intensely for 15 – 30 minutes. Focus entirely on the experience.
2.) Using nature to experience our sense of touch
Find a pleasant place out of doors and close or blindfold your eyes. First use sound to draw you into the body – leaves rustling in the wind, waves thrashing onto the beach, birds etc. Then slowly focus on your open skin (arms, legs, face) and feel the air touching your skin, feel the breeze caressing you. Stay in this meditation as long as you are able.
3.) Tantric Breathing
Purse your lips as if you are going to whistle or drink through a straw. Breathe in and out through pursed lips, sucking the air in and gently blowing the air out. Pause on both the full breath and the empty breath and become aware of the changes in your body. Be aware of the 4 stages of breathing – the inward breath, the full breath, the outward breath and the empty breath state of the body. Do this at least 3 minutes every day. Repeat as often as you like.
4,) Tantric Touch with a partner and alone.
With a partner: choose who will be passive and who will be active and change roles later. Begin with tantric breathing to get into the body and the Now and continue this breathing throughout the exercise. Take at least 30 minutes to slowly touch and stroke your partner’s body. Be fully in your hands, experience his/her body as if you are touching it for the first time. Touch to please yourself, not to please your partner. You will find, this ensures that you in fact do please him/her when you touch in such a way that it is pleasing to yourself.
On your own: touch and stroke your body as if it were a lover’s body or as if you are touching your body for the first time. Discover and explore and touch in a way pleasing to yourself. Allow sensual sensations to arise without judgment.
For those wanting to delve more practically into what Tantra is and what it offers, this month's Tantric Fire Couple's Retreats being held in Stanford and the Northern Drakensberg, and the Come Together Single's Retreat in the Northern Drakensberg, are excellent ways to start!
Warm greetings to you all
Leandra
An introduction to the Path of Tantra
Tantric literature on the market today, is often in the form of "how to" sex manuals, promising bigger and better orgasms and more sexual satisfaction. Tantra is however much more than a “school of sex”! It could however be called a “school of love” as it is a teaching of non-judgmental, absolute unconditional love. What it is, is a spiritual path teaching meditation in the most physical moments of human experience, positively encompassing and influencing all aspects of life, particularly relationships of all kinds.
Although we are living in the age of sexual liberation, it is rare to find people enjoying a fulfilling sexuality. The sexual revolution of the sixties in fact, has led to marketing life's most intimate moments, resulting in floods of images that appear to have liberated us from conventional norms but in fact, have simply created a new cliché.
Over and above this, many adults are burdened with sexually repressive conditioning from childhood, education, religion, and in South Africa, we know too well that even politics and governments can play a huge role in how we think and feel and with whom we engage with sexually. We have been led to believe that spirituality and sexuality are divided and we struggle to find meaning in our sexuality.
In addition, the pressures of busy and stressful modern life - of finding that “soul mate” and then the challenge of long lasting relationships and marriage, as well as bringing up children within full working lives - presents an enormous strain on individuals and couples. The principles of our performance-oriented society have forced their way into the bedroom resulting in more and more men and women experiencing sexual difficulties. Intimacy is often reduced to having sex as a kind of sleeping pill at night, resulting in a “quick” release of tension and a general feeling of emptiness. Equally dissatisfying for many individuals is one or other form of living promiscuously, one partner after the other, experiencing intimacy that is not uplifting and lacking in real joy, resulting in lives that are often accompanied by loneliness and a lack of fulfillment.
For many, the only way to combat this is by delving further into a materialistically orientated way or life, thrill seeking activities, substance dependencies and often some form of depression. Yet we long for vitality in our relationships and for a form of spirituality that affirms the unity of body and soul.
Despite the fact that it is thousands of years old, Tantra presents us with a possibility to transcend such difficulties arising from this very modern situation. Tantra cultivates, deepens and spiritualises human nature without presenting it as imperfect or repressing it. Rather than concentrating on physical pleasure alone, Tantra details the mental states to be achieved during sexual activity enabling us to bridge the gap of sexuality and spirituality.
An ever-expanding system that has matured through the ages, Tantra trains the body to improve its capacity for the flow of life energy, giving the mind a higher ability to concentrate, and the soul ease and lightness.
In contrast to traditional psychotherapy, esoteric and other healing modes, Tantra uses the body and its physical expression to work on blockages in the subconscious, embracing the sexual emotionally, physically and spiritually and thus doing, satisfying and amplifying the human soul. Most of us, have forgotten how to contact and live from a place of being whole and perfect already. Tantra shows us the way back home. Sometimes called a path to Enlightenment, to Bliss, Nirvana, Ecstasy, which occurs through the marriage of energy and consciousness, Tantra teaches you how.
From a tantric perspective, each human being is understood as a reflection of the entire cosmos. By entering inside one's own subjective being with a witnessing consciousness, all aspects of the body, mind and emotions are revealed in their refined potential. With the whole person being accepted as divine, each aspect of being human can become a door to expanded consciousness.
What is Tantra?
Tantra is an art, a method and a science, an outlook and a way of life that teaches us how to open our hearts, how to embrace our emotionality and sexuality, enabling us to celebrate the whole of life while recognising the Divine essence within all beings. Tantra is in effect an experiential path of transformation.
Originating in what is now modern India, Tantra is at least 5000-7000 or more years old, pre-dating and influencing both Hinduism and Buddhism. All world religions have subsequently had some form of tantric past, subsequently destroyed by main-stream fundamentalists. The result is that many religions believe you can have either physical pleasure or spiritual growth, but not both. Tantra disagrees entirely. Physical and sensual pleasure is understood as the key to our spiritual growth; without one, you can’t have the other.
The word Tantra is composed of the Sanskrit words for weaving and expansion. By weaving together, accepting and entering deeply into every aspect of our lives, including sexuality, our hearts and minds are able to expand into blissful oneness.
Another word for Tantra is Sacred Sexuality or Spiritual Sexuality. Everyone has their own definition of what is "spiritual" and "sacred" are, but most of us agree it refers to something wonderful, loving, joyous, and transcendent – something beyond us. And yet in Tantra we find that it is within us as well. Central to Tantra is the understanding that sexual energy is our life force, and that the universe and humans as individuals are all filled with the same energy. Sexual energy is reclaimed as sacred, healing the split between body and spirit. Therefore any repression of this energy leaves us unbalanced and damaged. Trauma, (e.g. grief and pain, embarrassment, physical or emotional abuse etc.) is stored in our body as a body memory. The effect of these memories are blockages – repression and limitations - which continue throughout our lives, reducing our emotional and physical well-being, inhibiting our flow of energy and limiting our expression of life and sexuality in one or another way.
Tantra rejects the repressive, moralistic, and self-denying code of living propounded by many religions and cultures, resulting in our emotional, sensual and our body’s sexual needs are met with guilt, repression, denial and punishment. When attention is paid to bodily needs, it’s usually aimed at avoidance, for example of disease or pregnancy. Little attention is paid to the development and expansion of our body’s sensuality and there is no other teaching that shows us how to embrace and value this as does the Path of Tantra. Tantra teaches how to embrace and value your sensual self, the whole of your body including your sexuality and in so doing experience something of who we really are and our relationship to the Divine.
In order to become whole, to grow and blossom as adults, these blockages and repressions need clearing from both our physical and psychic systems. One thing that most religions agree on is the fact that we are more than our physical body. The understanding in Tantra is that, there is actually no separation between our physical body and that which is more than the body. In fact, there is no separation between us and others, between us and the world around us, between us and all of existence. Tantra is a non-dualist understanding of the world. Each and every one of us, in essence, is already divine, whole, and perfect.
In its very essence Tantra is a yoga - the yoga of presence i.e. becoming aware or conscious of what is going on in your body, emotions, and thoughts, learning to accept whatever is arising in the moment without judgment. Sexual energy and our personal expression of sexuality are included in the tantric concept of the body and of life in general. Tantra can therefore be seen as a reconciliation of sexuality and spirituality.
Although tantric strands have emerged within various religions, Tantra itself is not a religion and requires no prior belief system. It is essentially an experiential path leading to gnosis (knowing through experience) or inner wisdom. We learn to go beyond the limitations of the ego, ultimately touching the limitlessness of the Universe and within that, our wholeness. In fact, with Tantra, each sensorial experience offers a door to cosmic consciousness.
How does Tantra do this?
The sensual component of tantric rituals is characterized by creative uses of dance, music, colours, flowers, aroma, food, and particularly our sense of touch. It is systematic, serious and thorough, but also playful, fun and wild, reclaiming the body, mind, and sprit to own as ones own. This leads to inner freedom - freedom to celebrate your body, your sexuality, your soul desires: freedom from fear, from guilt and shame; freedom to breathe and feel deeply; freedom to be fully present in the NOW.
A student of Tantra will at some stage, experience what is called a tantric awakening. This means gaining mastery of the emotions. All negative emotion, when projected toward others, is like a spinning wheel or magnet. It does nothing to address the source of the issue, and hurts ourselves even more than the other.
Two things are essential to, and at the same time the result of a tantric awakening:
1.) Conscious choice or taking responsibility for all our emotions and choices.
Blame and victimization lead to feelings of separateness and neediness. Subconsciously however, we know that we must be more than this. We really do want to create our own destinies and to take rightful ownership of our full power.
2.) Discarding internal agendas that do not serve our highest good.
This means the courage to know ourselves on a deep level, to know what we really want and then how to act on that desire. In other words, surrendering to the soul's desire and knowing that we are pure divinity. We are not the sum of our negative emotions, personal lies and the petty games we play. We are so much more than our judging, self-condemning mind would lead us to believe. We are talented, beautiful, and unique children of God.
The nature of Tantra is experiential. It is not something one can learn from a lecture or a book or by watching a DVD. These can only give ideas and hints. Tantra needs to be, has to be experienced. Whether you are single or in a relationship, you need to practice what you read and see. Your learning is essentially from your experiences. Each personal development in Tantra - physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually - is totally unique. You can begin the Tantric path from wherever you are right now. If you have anger or hurt, you can discover the tremendous potential for spiritual awakening contained within that energy. If you are feeling sexual, this quality becomes a key to open all the secrets of human energy. All you need is a willingness to explore your inner world and be prepared to let go of conditioning and open your heart and soul to joy and bliss.
The best way of experiencing Tantra is with a dedicated and genuine teacher. In ancient times, Tantra being a secret path, teachers were hard to come by and difficult to find. Here in South Africa there are very few trained practitioners. However, there are opportunities in the form of individual sessions as well as weekend retreats. The National Institute of Tantra South Africa sets ethical standards for the work and will in the next few years compile a list of qualified practitioners as they emerge from training.
If you feel ready to begin right now, here are some exercises to begin your journey:
Exercises
1.) Using the senses to come into the body and the Now
Close or blindfold your eyes and focus the other senses (hearing, taste, smell) intensely for 15 – 30 minutes. Focus entirely on the experience.
2.) Using nature to experience our sense of touch
Find a pleasant place out of doors and close or blindfold your eyes. First use sound to draw you into the body – leaves rustling in the wind, waves thrashing onto the beach, birds etc. Then slowly focus on your open skin (arms, legs, face) and feel the air touching your skin, feel the breeze caressing you. Stay in this meditation as long as you are able.
3.) Tantric Breathing
Purse your lips as if you are going to whistle or drink through a straw. Breathe in and out through pursed lips, sucking the air in and gently blowing the air out. Pause on both the full breath and the empty breath and become aware of the changes in your body. Be aware of the 4 stages of breathing – the inward breath, the full breath, the outward breath and the empty breath state of the body. Do this at least 3 minutes every day. Repeat as often as you like.
4,) Tantric Touch with a partner and alone.
With a partner: choose who will be passive and who will be active and change roles later. Begin with tantric breathing to get into the body and the Now and continue this breathing throughout the exercise. Take at least 30 minutes to slowly touch and stroke your partner’s body. Be fully in your hands, experience his/her body as if you are touching it for the first time. Touch to please yourself, not to please your partner. You will find, this ensures that you in fact do please him/her when you touch in such a way that it is pleasing to yourself.
On your own: touch and stroke your body as if it were a lover’s body or as if you are touching your body for the first time. Discover and explore and touch in a way pleasing to yourself. Allow sensual sensations to arise without judgment.
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