Tantric Sexuality - 30th September 2006

Journal, 30th September 2006


I recently had a fellow from JHB who was interested in the massage emailing me explicit photos of naked women and pornographic photos of men and women. This is the difficulty here in SA: Tantra is not well known, there is little information available to the general public and one has to be a seeker or at least have heard of the word Tantra to Google and find the appropriate pages. So there is this general impression here, that this work is another form of eroticism, another form of sexuality and that practitioners of Tantra are either sex workers or sex-hungry, uninhibited individuals who live promiscuous lives! This is not the case, on the contrary: practitioners of Tantra live a form of sexuality that is immersed in awareness, connecting the physical and spiritual to embrace life, all life, in the universal Love that is available to all of us if we only take notice of it and become aware of it. Having said this tantric sexuality is however, only the physical aspect of the work


I wrote to this fellow sending me the pornographic photos, that he had not understood the spiritual aspect of the work and that it was inappropriate to email me such photos. I am neither repulsed by it, nor does it turn me on. All it does is show me where the fantasies of this fellow and possibly his repressions are embedded.
Certainly, tantric sexuality is wonderful, and delving into tantric practice will enhance your sexuality enormously. This is great for both singles and couples alike and Tantra also offers remedies for all aspects of sexual problems. It is not a bad thing to come to Tantra for these reasons. However, the earnest seeker will soon realise the greatness of this work. It is so much more than sexuality. Ultimately, Tantra teaches the transcendence of sexuality. For the seeker, the work starts with his or her sexuality, it continues through alleviating suppressions and all forms of repressions as well as all forms of sexual hurt. It takes you to acceptance of the sexual as something beautiful and natural in life – free of taboos, free of guilt, free of bad associations and dependency - dependancy of relying on sexual activity and success for feeling good about yourself and your life. It leads to free flowing sexual energy that does not require pornographic fantasies or the like. It leads to wonderfully satisfying sexuality in self-loving or with consenting partners and within this, to the spiritual connection between these partners and to life, to Existence itself. In the final stage, it leads to spiritual awakening, to enlightenment – the actual quest of the seeker – in a similar way as years of meditating does.


In fact, tantric sexuality IS meditation!

What is so special about this compared to other forms of spirituality and meditation? This question is often asked. There is nothing else by way of spiritual seeking or healing body work that addresses the sexual as directly as does Tantra. When the sexual is not addressed, not included in the path, many repressions are avoided, not looked at and thus stand in the way of real personal spiritual growth.
The body contains memories of whatever we experience in life, including what we are taught as children and young adults about the badness, the sin of the genitals and our innate, natural sexuality. The part of the body that takes most care of these memories, suppressions and repressions are the genitals – for the very reason that they are not mentally or physically touched on in usual therapeutic efforts to alleviate problems of all kinds. So in this area of the body, these memories and false understandings are kept and held and sometimes not even noticed – although they are constantly affecting our well being. Tantra addresses exactly this. This is what makes it so special, so direct and such excellent work.
Tantra therefore touches the body in a very real way – through the false associations held in the mind and in the body, mentally as well as physically. Practitioners of Tantra have no inhibitions about their own sexuality, having gone through the process themselves. They have no inhibitions talking about sexuality openly, experiencing sexuality, sharing sexuality, teaching sexuality, living sexuality. One form of living sexuality is actually transcending it, getting into the space of not needing it. I have experienced this and it is a very beautiful place to be in, contrary to what most people might believe. Transcendence of the sexual does not mean impotence or frigidity. It means freedom in a very real way. It means a coming home to your independent and individual self, to the real meaning of who you are – a coming home to Truth.
You can come to this work from any level, from the sexual wanting more satisfaction in life or from the seeker's yearning for awakening. What you will find is love, for yourself, for the othe and for all life. It is in this love that you find the answers we in some way all search for: what on earth is this life actually all about?
Working, sleeping, eating, having sex, making babies, living family life and going through some joys and some hardships is what we go through in our human state, but it is not in this that we find the meaning of life. The answer to this question may fall out differently for different individuals, but to me the bottom line is that there is only one Truth about who and what we are and this is only to be found in the spiritual: we are all connected as part of Existence, part of the great Divine, God.


There is no separation between us human beings, between us and nature, between us and Existence.
We are one. This realisation means freedom to me. This freedom means bliss at every level of my being.


Namasté
Leandra

PS I am adding some quotes from a most beautiful book about sacred sexuality which I recently bought: “Kama Sutra – Including The Seven Spiritual Laws of Love” by Deepak Chopra – I need to share this with you.

First of all, the artistic illustrations are really lovely and the book is filled with beautiful verses around the subjects of love and the newly interpreted original Kama Sutra - this was his aim with the book, to translate and interpret the old texts in a new way, than has been in the past.

"All problems related to sex, neurosis, deviancy, violence and abuse, can be traced to resistance, to suppression and repression, not to the sexual urges themselves. If we are allowed to discover our urges, desires and emotions, without outside inhibition, they won't go to extremes.


Extremism, in any form, is a reaction to repression, inhibition and suppression. Aggression and violence are the shadow energies of fear and impotence."
Deepak Chopra

This is what Vatsayayana wrote at the end of his book Kama Sutra (here in the translation of Deepak Chopra):

"Thus have I written in brief the science of love, after reading the texts of ancient authors and following the ways of enjoyment taught by them. One who is acquainted with the true principles of this science plus regard to virtue (Dharma), material success (Artha), and love or pleasure (Kama),
as well as to one's own experiences. Such a one is not driven simply by his own desires. A sexual practice is not right just because it is authorized by the science; keep in mind that these rules given by them, the Kama Sutra was composed according to the precepts of Holy Writ, for he benefit of the world, by Vatsayayana, leading the life of a religious student and wholly engaged in the contemplation of God. This work is not intended to be used merely as an instrument for satisfying our desires. A person acquainted with the true principles of this science, and who preserves his Dharma, Artha and Kama,
and has regard for the practices of society, is sure to obtain mastery over his senses. In short, through seeking three goals of life an intelligent and prudent person, without becoming the slave of his passions, obtains success in everything that he may undertake."

I hope I have made you curious about this great book!


Namasté
Leandra

About the massage work

What with everyone's busy working and family schedules, I have had to realise that it is just not feasible to travel so easily all the way to this remote spot on the KZN south coast for Tantra massage sessions. The massage guests, who have made it here so far, have not been disappointed. It is wonderful to get away from daily life for something as special as Tantra massage, but this usually has to be combined with a holiday or business in Durban or something like that. I love working here. The massage studio is decorated in a personal style, it is my sacred room - I do not only work there, but use the space for meditating, reading my increasing small library of books about Tantra, for resting and letting my thoughts flow or my heart just glow. I am still so in awe of what Tantra has done for me personally, in my life and my whole being. It is a special space.

I realise this will be different in JHB and CT where I am sharing rooms with others. However, I will try to create the atmosphere I need for Tantra Sacred Massage and for the times that I will be there working with massage guests, these shared rooms will become "my" special rooms for this work.

I am looking forward to welcoming you there and to working on an on going basis with some of you. The deepness of the work, the full benefit of what Tantra massage gives you grows with continuous work - or if you like "treatments". The relationship between the giver and the receiver of the massage develops, mutual trust grows and a true opening from heart to heart becomes not only possible, but inevitable. So with this in mind and in my heart, I am looking forward to welcoming you these new massage spaces.

I had the pleasure this last weekend of having a couple here from a far away place in SA for massages. They made use of the overnight accommodation and so had the opportunity to look through some of the books on Tantra that I had placed in their lounge. I found that that added a certain depth to the work. It helped getting Tantra into perspective. They were totally new to Tantra and knew little about it, so I felt this was really a worthwhile aspect of having time here to make use of my small library.

They chose separate massages - actually a good way for a couple to start, each having their own space to experience the massage - and it also gave me the opportunity to connect intuitively to the individual person. The massages were, needless to say different - they always are as Tantra massage does not follow a set scheme.

I felt energised after they had left. Massaging keeps me deeply in my own awareness. I am totally there and my own daily life is somewhere far away, not even in the background. My preparation consists of getting the space ready - the room temperature needs to be warmed (at least at this time of the year - in summer it will have to be cooled!), the oil gets freshly mixed and heated, the music chosen and towels need to be ready etc. Then I take time to meditate and get my own energy "charged up" for the massage. I impart energy during the massage, "lending" mine to the massage guest in order to move theirs, but this imparting of energy does not, cannot reduce my own energy. Once in the massaging, I work deeply intuitively, feeling not only through my hands and body, but with and through my heart, my love. If I do it right, not imparting too much, not withholding anything, I come out of the massage energised. The giver receives too during Tantra work. It is the connection to Existence's universal love that makes this possible.

Tantra massage is about transformation on a very deep level. It gives me such joy to see how glowing, how radiant the guests become after the massage. And I know there will be movement in the days and weeks afterwards. To those of you who misunderstand Tantra as another form of eroticism, I say, you are so wrong. Oh yes, it can be erotic, but it is so much more!

Namasté
Leandra