Leandra's Journal

What is...?

2011-12-13T01:07:00.010+02:00

Over this busy festive season, stop and ask yourself "What is...what is this moment, what is in this moment, what do I experience, perceive, realise?" We so seldom do this. Our lives are full, day for day, minute for minute...and moment for moment. Life is not slow. Work is not forgiving. Even our "play time", our relaxation time is full of doing. Full of appointments and activities. So much of modern spiritual talk is about "being in the moment: - but what does that mean. Osho puts it beautifully, simply in his answer to a student's question below. Such moments of conscious awareness are meditation. Pure meditation. Tantra uses the senses to be in the moment. Sight, smell, sound and touch. You can do it anywhere. At Christmas dinner with the family, on the beach, in the mountains, the desert...and even in a busy shopping mall. It only takes a moment!
I wish you all, dear students and friends of Tantra, many moments of such beauty and calm over Christmas and the drawing year -end.
Namaste
Leandra

In one of his lectures, Prabhati (a student of Osho) asked: "Beloved Master, What Is?"

Osho answerd:
“Prabhati, there are two kinds of things in existence: one, that which can be explained; and the other, that which can only be experienced. The things that can be explained are mundane, ordinary, have no intrinsic value in them. And the things that cannot be explained are really significant, have intrinsic value. For example, sex can be explained, love cannot be explained. Hence, sex becomes a commodity - it can be sold, it can be purchased. Love is not a commodity; you cannot sell it, you cannot purchase it - there is no way. Sex can be explained because it is part of physiology. Love cannot be explained - it is part of your inner mystery.

Unless your sexuality rises and reaches to love it is mundane, it has nothing sacred about it. When your sex becomes love, then it is entering into a totally different dimension - the dimension of the mysterious and the miraculous. Now it is becoming religious, sacred, it is no longer profane. And there is an even higher stage of love - I call it prayer - which is absolutely unexplainable, which is absolutely ineffable. Nothing can be said about it.

When a disciple asked Jesus, "What is prayer?" Jesus fell on his knees and started praying. What else can you do? Prayer cannot be explained, nothing can be said about it, but it can be shown. What can you say about death, what can you say about life? Whatsoever you say will fall short; it cannot soar to the heights of life and death. Those are experiences.

What can you say about beauty? Even if the lake is full of beautiful lotuses and it is a full-moon night, and all is benediction, somebody can ask, "What is beauty?" What can you say? You can show! You can say, "This it it!" But he will say, "I am asking for a definition."

Rabindranath, one of the greatest poets of this country (India), was living on a small houseboat. He used to live for months together on that houseboat; he loved living on the houseboat. It was a full-moon night and he was reading in his room, a small cabin, just by a small candlelight, and he was reading about aesthetics - what is beauty? And the full moon outside, and the cuckoo calling from the distant shore, and the moon reflecting all over the lake, and the whole lake was silver...! It was a tremendously silent night, nobody around, except that cuckoo calling. Once in a while a bird would fly over the boat, or a fish would jump in the lake - and those sounds would deepen the silence even more. And he pondered over great books on aesthetics in search of the definition of what beauty is.

Tired, exhausted, in the middle of the night, he blew out the candle...and he was shocked, surprised. As he blew out the candle, the moon-rays entered through the window, through the door, inside the cabin. That pale light of the candle had been keeping the moon out. Suddenly, he heard the cuckoo calling from the distant shore.

Suddenly, he became aware of the tremendous silence, the depth of the silence surrounding the boat. A fish jumped, and he came out.... He had never seen such a beautiful night. A few white clouds floating in the sky, and the moon and the lake and the cuckoo calling...he was transported into another world.

He wrote in his diary, "I am foolish! I have been searching in books for what beauty is, and beauty was standing outside my door, knocking on my door! I was looking for beauty, searching for beauty, with a small candle, and the small candlelight was keeping the moonlight outside." He wrote in his diary, "It seems my small ego is keeping God out - the small ego, like a pale small candlelight, keeping the light of God outside. And he is waiting outside. All that I need to do is to close the books, blow out the candle of the ego and go out - AND SEE!"

Prabhati, you ask me, "What is?" This...this-ness...this moment you are surrounded by the is. It is within you and without you. The chirping of the birds...and this silence...and you ask me what is?It is not a question that can be answered… We are here to experience something. All explanations about the mysteries of life are nothing but explaining away those things. The basic, root meaning of the word 'explanation' is 'to flatten a thing' - but to flatten a thing is to destroy it. If anybody could answer, "What is God? What is love? What is prayer? What is?" he would have flattened a beautiful, tremendously beautiful, incredible experience, into ugly words. All words are inadequate.Be and know! Be still and know! You are here not to learn more words; you are here to get deeper into silence. Use my words as hints towards a wordless existence. This is it! …

Feel this moment...in its totality, in all its dimensionality, and a great beauty will descend, a great beatitude, a great benediction will surround you; a grace, a very silent ecstasy will start rising in you…that is the only way to know it.”

From: The Dhammapada: The Way of the Buddha, Vol 2. by OSHO. Talks given from 01/07/79 to 10/07/79. English Discourse series.

Tantra and Sex - What It's Really about!

2011-11-22T16:11:00.010+02:00

The most predominant misunderstanding about Tantra is that I encounter, is that it is all about sex. Well, not only sex, but having great sex, the best sex you can imagine, and hours of it with multiple orgasms. The reason for this seems to be the simple fact that sex rules our lives in one way or another. We either have a partner that wants too little of it...or one that wants too much, depending on the perspective from which we are viewing it of course. Or there is no partner in sight to experience either too little or too much, it is simply zero. Sometimes there is lots of it, with lots of partners, in lots of different situations – twosomes, threesomes, foursomes, orgies etc. And of course, there are great deviations from the “normal” variations of it, like BDSM etc. Then there are all sorts of sexual difficulties that can make our lives miserable – difficulty to orgasm or climaxing far too early, having too much or too little libido and funnily enough, this applies to both men and women, although we like to think it’s gender specific and applies to men only!

Here’s the thing: sex IS important. It is the most major energy force in our lives. We come from sex and in fact, the whole of life comes from sex. In Tantra we call sex our Life Force. And as you can imagine, when our Life Force depletes, a whole lot is pulled into a downward spiral with it.

Sexual energy is charged with an internal, mental and physical drive whether we like it or not. This in turn charged with hormones and endorphins etc., it is the single most naturally given drive we have. It is our creative energy, not only physically in the form of pro-creation, but our drive to complete ourselves, to be passionate about whatever it is we allow ourselves to be passionate about – our work, our relationships, our hobbies. Sigmund Freud discovered that it was possible to compensate desire by directing this energy into other passions and that if we don’t it sometimes finds its way into mentally unhealthy results.

So all in all, sex is worth thinking about! The thing is to get out of the habit of simply thinking about sex as sex only. Sex as sex only is just the physical act and that in itself is a pretty mundane activity. Tantra allows us look at everything else that sex is about, it gives more meaning to sex than we generally believe is possible.

The ancient Chinese realised the life force aspect of sexual energy and developed methods of cultivating sexual energy in the form of Taoism and taoist practices, just as the ancient people of India developed the deeply spiritual path of Tantra and tantric practices. Both cultures understood that sex was the very centre of life itself, and although the two paths differ tremendously, they do have in common that sexual energy is essential to our physical, emotional and spiritual well being in one way or another.

Whereas in China the emphasis seems to have been on the cultivation of sexual energy for physical well being and longevity, in India, being probably one of the most spiritually inclined countries in the world, it seems natural that the emphasis was on sex and spirituality, sex and the Divine, sex and enlightenment.

Valerie Brooks puts it beautifully in her book Tantric Awakening – A Woman’s Initiation into the Path of Ecstacy:
“Utilizing our most primitive, overwhelming desires for sexual encounter, tantra teaches transcendence of all desire. Tantra’s ultimate lesson is that all human desire carries at its source the singular desire for God. And even the desire for God is transcended once we understand that we are already there.”

Furthermore...
“Tantra allows anyone to experience the ecstatic, heavenly realm that saints through the ages have attempted to describe through poetry and metaphor. It’s nearly indescribable, because it’s beyond what we can mentally conceive.
...
“People become involved in tantra for various reasons. The practice of tantra can bring us many personal benefits, including improved relationships, emotional healing, physical health, longevity, happiness, wealth, and of course the obvious: an intensely satisfying sex life...But, regardless of diverse initial interests, to remain on this path all must have only agenda – a profound desire for oneness with whatever it is we call God.”
...
“Tantra has no text or manual on how to treat others. Yet the universal call for love within all great spiritual teachings can be embodied through tantric. Tantra calls our intellectual bluff. Tantra takes the theory of loving God to a practical level. Before we can love God, we must love others. Tantra asks us not to idealize love, or to love a concept, but rather to experience love. Tantra is about really loving others, here and now.”
...
“This does not mean that we need to have sex with everyone we want to love. Tantra is a tool that teaches us how to love unconditionally, in every area of our lives. Many people misunderstand how tantric relates to sex. Tantra uses sex only as a vehicle. In and of itself, sex is meaningless. Sex is a tool, like the flame of a candle in meditation or the beads used in prayer. No tool will bring us enlightenment unless we use it for that purpose. Tantra’s purpose is never about having sex. The purpose of tantric is not even to be a tantric. The purpose of tantric is, once again, love. Tantra holds sexuality in a context that is healing and positive, as an expression of God’s love.”
...
“Tantra might be a simple path, but it is not always easy. Many people who begin tantric, even with the best intentions, will fall off the path. Why is it so difficult to make love all the time? Practicing tantric is not like going to church for two hours a week. It will make us look at ourselves. It will ask us to change. It pushes buttons.”

Tantra has pushed my buttons and continues to do so. It has changed how I deal with things, how I deal with all aspects of my life and it continues to do so. It is fascinating and deeply rewarding, and I feel blessed to have gotten over my initial belief that it was all “just about sex”. Had this not been the case, and being the well brought up, sexually conservative South African that I was, I could never have embraced Tantra. I came to Tantra looking for God, or if you prefer, looking for life. I wanted more. I felt there was more. Most importantly, I wanted my frustration with life, my pain around love, my loneliness amidst friends, relatives and people in general to end.

I wanted life and I wanted it fulfilling, full and filled. I got it. I learnt to love myself in a way never before imagined, then I learnt to love others in a way never before achieved...and finally I learnt to love God, the Divine, Existence in a way never before experienced.

Tantra is not a religion. I did not have to adopt a belief system or adhere to doctrines. Tantra is a path, a method, a way of life. It has become my way of life.

Of her personal experience, Valerie Brooks’ writes:
“ In tantra I found a synergy between sexuality and spirituality, between tradition and spontaneity, between the communal and the subjective. It was like glue to me. It brought together all the seemingly irreconcilable pieces, merging the contradictory and disparate messages of religion, philosophy and literature. Tantra guided me inward, showing me that my darkest demons were illusions built of dust. In essence, it enabled me to become a completely different person.“

I too became a completely different person on my tantric journey. Not someone else, just the person I was always meant to be. I hope you enjoyed this read and that you not only have become interested in Valerie Brooks' book, but also in starting your journey with and on the path of Tantra.

Namaste,
Leandra

* all quotes from Tantric Awakening – A Woman’s Initiation into the Path of Ecstacy by Valerie Brooks (pages 11 – 14) ISBN -89281-096-5 (pbk)

Discovering Durga

2011-09-27T02:16:00.005+02:00

One of the most invoked forms of the divine feminine is the Hindu goddess Durga. Ma Anand Leandra takes a closer look.

In this manifestation, the multi-armed deity who battles and conquers the mighty buffalo demon Mahisasura, is one of the most spectacular of all personifications of cosmic energy. With three-eyes and adorned with the crescent moon, her multiple arms holding various weapons, emblems, jewels, utensils, garlands and rosaries of beads, and seated on her lion or tiger vehicle, she seemingly has overwhelming omnipotence. Also known as the Divine Mother, she embodies all the other goddess incarnations including Kali (goddess of death and transformation), Lakshmi (goddess of spiritual and material abundance) and Sarasvati (goddess of wisdom and creativity).

According to the myth, demonic forces threatening to conquer the world and take down all who did not agree with their agenda, appeared in the form of Mahisasura, the mighty buffalo demon. When all the male divinities had tried everything they could to put an end to this threat, and after realising that their methods were only perpetuating the violence and with nothing left to do, they fused their energy together allowing Durga to emerge.

Although invoked by the merging of all the male god energies, Durga’s birth was not the result of the will of the gods, but, as with all her incarnations, was the result of her will to be in the world for the benefit of mankind. She chooses when and how to become active in the play of the goddess in the world.

Mahisasura symbolises, among other things, the elemental powers of brutish ignorance and an exaggerated ego-sense whose sole purpose is to dominate and control, destroying the balance of the universe. Durga, her tremendous power poised and ready for this ferocious battle, changes her form time and again, matching his changing forms, until finally she wins the battle by decapitating him.

Then, having completed what she set out to do, she disappears from the battlefield completely, but not before promising to nourish the world in times of need and to fearlessly annihilate all that is not truth, delivering all who call upon her from their enemies, and blessing them.

This disappearance of Durga after her victory expresses one of the deepest truths of the divine feminine: her action in the cosmic drama is without retentive, ego-seeking ambition. She did not remain to be hallowed and subjected to praise and adoration for her deed.

If Durga is understood as the wisdom of the heart, the buffalo demon is the symbol of ignorance, reactions and ego attachments. His constant changing form is symbolic of the ignorant mind continuously jumping from desire to desire, relating directly to our irrational behavior. The demon's uncontrollable rage, destroying everything in its path without regard for the consequences, is a fitting analogy for all the levels of destruction that we face today. This battle is symbolic of the universal war between knowledge and ignorance, truth and falsehood, the oppressor and the oppressed.
This myth asks us to consider how we choose to express our anger. Will we poison our environment by being divisive, fearful, defensive and blaming? Or we will use our rage against the injustice and the polarities of separation in constructive ways? Will be contain the destructive force of our negative emotions: anger, jealousy, pride, greed and delusion over and over again, until such time as they are melted away and no longer exist?
Durga's story is a metaphor about the eternal cyclical repetition of the entire life process. The paradise which she restores on earth is temporary, and the battle between the order and chaos has to recur endlessly. On this battlefield, protagonist and antagonist take on the looks and qualities of the other over and over again, until the disguise of each is penetrated. When demon and goddess are reduced to their true nature, they are, in the last analysis, alike. Without the one we cannot perceive the other.

Symbolising our constant struggle with all the perceived polarities of human life (male and female, right and wrong, good and bad, light and dark, pain and joy, love and hate etc), Durga’s story also represents constantly restoring paradise or bliss, until finally we are able to perceive and experience the ‘Oneness of All’ that is inherent in our spiritual nature.

When we reach the state in which all dualism has melted away, we understand that without the other we are not ourselves; when we exist together as one, I am in you and you are in me, only then are there no oppositions and no polarities, leaving only a ‘oneness in an eternal cycle of cosmic activity’.

Durga is a metaphor for the fiercely compassionate divine feminine aspect of our nature. It is our Durga nature that can and will finally free us from an afflicted ego and return us to the penetrating wisdom of divine love. She is the impenetrable place of calm within our hearts from which we are able to choose actions that promote harmony and unity over selfish, harmful acts. Formed out of the sum of all the divine masculine power, she is the ferocious feminine power that paves the way to understanding true oneness, free of all polarities. For men and women alike, it is the Durga within ourselves that paves the way to bliss.

Published in Odyssey Magazine August/September 2011

Speak to us of Love...

2011-06-24T23:15:00.004+02:00

The Bridge, Aquarelle on paper by Leandra

Taken from the book "The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran, these words describing the ups and downs of love are beautiful and deeply insightful.
I have quoted from The Prophet before here in my journal - in the article I wrote after my father passed away last year, I quoted a portion about death - and indeed, this is a book that has had much meaning to me since my student days when I was first introduced to Gibran's writings. It accompanied me in many roles of loving and living, being a wife and particularly a mother, with work and play and so many things along the path of practical human life.
This particular passage accompanied me very recently, offering me comfort, support and clarity at a time when loving seemed to be a deeply painful process. It helped give my pain direction and meaning, and as I slowly understood the full meaning of Gibran's words, it allowed love's warmth to once again surface in my soul, melting the pain into clear flowing water, rippling over cool earth stones, beautifully.
And so I share it with you all, with warm love in my heart, and a kiss upon my lips.
Namaste,
Leandra

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may would you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Thought his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as hi is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
so shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God.":
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips"

Proudly Lingam

2011-05-26T03:53:00.015+02:00

Shakti-Shiva Energy (Aquarelle on paper) - Leandra

Proudly Lingam

Rigid
Stands in soldier-steady stance,
Preparing for a Tantric dance.
Sliding.
Oiled hot and stoked, stroked mildly;
And ever so often wildly.
Burning from all four watch-towers
He enters to the stage.
He's centre of the stage
And always by that stage
Proudly lingam.

Merry choice to be a boy.
Merry times to wind this toy.
Merry meet, my phallic friend,
So proudly, proudly lingam.

Justin-Dean Brown - May 2011

(Justin-Dean Brown is now co-perating with Ma Anand Leandra and is working from her premises in Cape Town and Johannesburg. Visit his website Thurisaz Cobra - Practical Pathways to Personal Power)

Starting points & finishing lines and the race in between...or what you’ve always wanted to know about orgasm.

2011-04-22T22:51:00.010+02:00

Lingam - Aquarelle by Leandra

Part I - The truth about non-ejaculatory orgasm for men

Introduction

Orgasm is usually both the starting point and the finishing line of any sexual encounter. The starting point because, being the aim or goal of “normal” sex, it is generally what is on our minds as our intention when we start off with any sexual activity. The finishing line because, after orgasm there seems no where else to go, the goal having been reached.

But then, orgasm is so often a letdown. I used to think this was my issue with sexuality but today, from my many years of experience with students coming to Tantra Sacred Massage sessions, I know that most individuals feel this at some stage in their lives. This is particularly as one reaches the forties threshold or in terms of marriage and relationships, the eight to ten year threshold. Mind you, these are estimates and it can happen earlier and later, but invariably it does happen that sex becomes a bit mundane and the feeling that orgasm is not what it is made out to be grows.

Men particularly report that the nicest phase of sex is actually before orgasm, and they wish they could stay in this phase longer. The actual moment of orgasm is usually pretty quick both for men and women – although women do naturally experience a slightly longer orgasm compared to that of men. (I will go more into this in Part III of my article).

In addition, many individuals have some form of difficulty with orgasm itself – either it comes too soon or it does not come at all – both variations are difficult to live with and ruin full sexual satisfaction. So it is perhaps understandable that much of modern day tantric literature and content of Tantra websites worldwide, is filled with the promise of better orgasms – either longer, or deeper, or full body, or multi and for men, non-ejaculatory – and this accompanied by the hope of greater and more satisfying sex which in turn promises a happier and more fulfilling life.

Even without all this information, we seem to find ourselves racing after orgasm. In a sense, the event of Tantra becoming more centre stage worldwide has not done us a favour as the level of sexual expectation is now higher and more individuals are feeling the pressure of having to have more than just an “ordinary” orgasm. So it is understandable that learning to enhance orgasm is one of the main motivations for students coming to tantric massage sessions.

My personal quest on the subject of orgasm

When I came to Tantra, my motivation was to find meaning and healing in my life. I wanted my body, mind and spirit integrated and a way of life that would fulfil me. Basically I wanted my neediness to stop so that I could feel good about who I was and where I was in my life from my inner core, as opposed to having to rely on positive responses from others and situations, that would endorse the meaningfulness of my life and who I was.

Having better orgasms was something I never spoke to my teachers about. I did however ask about the non-ejaculatory orgasm for men, as I thought teaching men this technique would become an important part of my work, and to my astonishment, two of my three teachers told me “forget about non-ejaculatory orgasm, it is not important”! The fact that they were both male, seemed to place more weight on their statements, and thus I was influenced quite strongly in this respect.

After starting my tantric work, I intensified my reading of tantric literature and found that much of it was about methods to enhance orgasm. So it was natural for me to ask myself what the truth of the matter was...and thus began my research into the subject. In this series of articles about orgasm, I share my thoughts resulting from this research as well as from both my personal and work related experiences over the last 6 years or so.

The truth about non-ejaculatory orgasm for men

In almost all tantric literature on this subject, we find the claim that men need to learn and master the method and the practice of non-ejaculatory orgasm in order to contain their energy and experience their full sexual potential.

The reason given is that ejaculation depletes a man’s energy and that by not ejaculating he will contain his energy and be able to “last longer” (i.e. have longer erections, experience longer orgasms (generally called expanded orgasm), become multi-orgasmic (meaning being able to have a number of consecutive orgasms in a single session), and experience full body orgasms (meaning a special kind of orgasm that is felt throughout the body).

All this of course, will result in generally more fulfilling sex and by implication, a happier life. Sometimes one reads that non-ejaculation is the clue to tantric sex, the way to achieve more conscious and more spiritual sex.

Kegel Exercises

The method that is taught worldwide is relatively simple and within a few weeks of practice relatively easy to achieve. Men strengthen the pelvic muscles by training them with what is known as the Kegel exercises.

These exercises were developed and first published in 1948 by a Dr Kegel in order to assist with incontinence. For women they are extremely helpful for tightening the vaginal walls after childbirth, excellent for incontinence difficulties and also increase the experience of orgasm. They assist men with prostrate health, with bladder difficulties and it is said to assist with having stronger and longer lasting erections, thus being very beneficial to men suffering from pre-mature ejaculation.

The next step is to learn to contract the pelvic muscles just before or in the moment of orgasm and in so doing, close off the Vasa Deferentia or sperm ducts resulting in the ejaculate not reaching the tip of the penis to be excreted there. This then has generally been called the “non-ejaculatory orgasm”.

Why this is commonly called non-ejaculatory orgasm I do not know because an ejaculation does occur.

Retrograde ejaculation

What really happens is that contracting the muscles squeezes the sperm ducts closed causing a blockage. When the ejaculate reaches the blockage, it is subsequently pushed back and into the bladder where it quickly dissolves and is urinated out. While the semen are not excreted through the penis, they certainly leave the testicles and are excreted. Medically this is called a retrograde ejaculation, sometimes known as an in-ejaculation.

Retrograde ejaculation is medically speaking the sign of a blockage problem in the sperm ducts caused by infection or certain medications which is one of the main causes of male sterility. It is also the way ejaculation takes place when a prostrate operation has been performed.

Medical problems resulting from blocking the sperm ducts

Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with strengthening the pelvic muscles, in fact this is a very healthy thing to do. For those of you who are interested in learning these, follow this link or Google ‘Kegel exercises” and you will find an abundance of info available on the web.

However, please do not use this as a general way of having orgasms guys. I will give you a different method, more natural method. There are a number of difficulties and dangers with this method of prolonging orgasm.Interestingly I have not found tantric literature that makes mention of a variety of medical difficulties that can result from repeated practice of this method.

It is not difficult to imagine that by doing this, pressure is placed on the sperm ducts which can result in irreparable damage being done. This is particularly important for men nearing and reaching their fifties. Apart from this, regular retrograde ejaculation can result in a further variety of medical problems which I won’t go into now.

Another important fact is that regular ejaculation is important for the health of the prostate gland and it used to be medical practice for men to have their prostrate glands “milked” regularly as a preventative measure for the development of cancer. This was a method of massaging the prostate gland to empty it of the colourless thin fluid that is produced there.

So all in all, I do not recommend this method or even regular non-ejaculation through any other method. And in fact, my experience shows that it is not preventing ejaculation that contains a man’s energy but they actual way he orgasms – whether he ejaculates or not!

How this method was assimilated into tantric teaching

The method of in-ejaculation comes from a completely different tradition to that of Tantra which originated in India. It goes back to ancient China and the Taoist tradition and was originally used as an ancient birth control practice. This makes sense as today we understand blockages of the sperm ducts to be one of the major causes for male infertility.

The Taoist also saw this as a way for males to contain their energy and prolong life. This results from the ancient belief that a man could run out of seminal fluid if he ejaculated too much in his life time and that his life would thus be shortened. Another Taoist belief was that if the man retained his sperm, he would retain the intelligence that made them and draw this up to his crown, thus increasing his intelligence. Today we know that these beliefs have no medical substance and that the male does not run out of seminal fluid through ejaculation.

As a side note, interestingly women were encouraged to have frequent secretion of female ejaculate as the belief was that it contained a vital substance from which her partner (the male) could derive energy and power!

Tantra is an ancient Indian tradition that emerged with or prior to Hinduism. In Tantra there is no ancient practice of this method and it certainly had nothing to do with tantric spiritual practice. As the knowledge of Tantra expanded to other countries it was assimilated into the traditional belief system and philosophies of those countries. Thus the development of Buddhist Tantra in Tibet and the incorporation of tantric practices into Taoist practice in China.

Tantra being the non-dogmatic system that it is, also appears to have over time, assimilated other practices and western Tantra (or Neo Tantra) seems to have merged two vastly different traditions. Taoism is concerned with the conservation of energy, Tantra is concerned with sexual energy being our life force and our senses being the door to being in the body and the “now”.

Tantra is concerned with the merging together of the sacred masculine and sacred feminine, the polarised male and female energy. In the traditional tantric understanding, it is in this union that enlightenment is made possible. Although this is mostly understood as the union between a male and a female, it can occur in a meditative way or self-loving rituals without a partner through the merging or balancing of the inner male and inner female energy.

One belief in the tantric system is that the male needs to unite with the female and needs to remain inside her as long as possible in oder to be able to absorb some of her vital life juices and energy, so necessary for men to attain an enlightened state of being.

Does then the non-ejaculatory orgasm exist in Tantra at all?

Yes, certainly, but at least as I teach it, it occurs in more natural way and is not as important as it’s made out to be. What is important, and much more important than ejaculation, is breath. It is the correct breathing technique that contains the energy in the body. As with any yoga practice, breath is the single most important aspect in Tantra and tantric work of any kind. The breathing technique, accompanied by full body relaxation as well as a specific muscular relaxation is what enhances orgasm and can lead to the experience of a true non-ejaculatory orgasm.

This is therefore what I teach. I teach men how to orgasm, how to change their orgasm into one that will contain their energy and in addition open the door to deep and spiritual experiences – and this independent of whether he is alone or with a partner.

The method is the same for men and women, just that women do it naturally and through understanding what they naturally do, they are able to do it more consciously thus enhancing their experience of orgasm.

It is also the method I teach to resolve all kinds of sexual difficulties, including premature ejaculation and difficulty in achieving orgasm.

What is the secret of tantric sex?

It is however, not beneficial in any way to chase the non-ejaculatory orgasm, just as Tantra teaches us not to chase the orgasm itself. Important is being in the moment of whatever you are doing without it having to lead anywhere. That really is the secret of tantric sex. Furthermore, it is a way of life. A way of living and experiencing each moment as it comes along and this way of life does not back away when things get sexual – on the contrary, this momentary experiencing continues throughout the sexual act.

I hope you enjoyed the article so far. I welcome your comments below!
Next month I will write about the real meaning of orgasm and finally I will give you the method I teach.

Warm autumn greetings
Leandra

Next articles:
Part II) The real meaning or orgasm
Part III) The Method to enhance orgasm

On being rock bottom...and just an ordinary woman!

2011-03-14T22:40:00.033+02:00

After The Rain - Leandra (Dispersions paint on paper)

I recently watched a TV interview that Opera did with J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series. Known in the USA as the first billionaire author, Rowling spoke about her life before and after her success and what motivated her. A lovely woman with a very interesting life, one of the things she said resonated with me particularly. After leaving Spain where she had been living with her first husband, she returned to the UK and found herself in the situation of being totally “rock bottom”, a single mother of a small child, pretty much penniless, alone and without work, the situation could have not been worse. She said that this “rock bottom” became her starting point....and I thought YES, this is what being rock bottom is about. It’s about starting points. To really appreciate being rock bottom, we need to recognise this!

Being rock bottom is always scary. It feels like having no way out. It feels like everything is against us, like there is nothing we can do and we feel very vulnerable. More often than not, it comes as a surprise, not being our own doing and is mostly accompanied by feelings of despair, helplessness and decapitating depression.

On being "rock bottom"...

I know this situation. I have been in it many times in my life for just as many reasons. The reasons were always good, very seldom was it my own doing, life seemed simply to be extremely unfair. I was after all a talented, hard working girl, always trying my best to do things right and yet, again and again, finding myself in personal “rock bottom” situations. It is only in retrospect that I recognise that these rock bottom periods were also always my starting points! Each time, as hitting rock bottom seemed to get worse and worse, more and more difficult to bear and less and less easy to move out of, the reward of having gone through it got better and better. My situation always improved as I was catapulted into making decisions that would force me to follow my dreams, believe in myself and become what I became for a while – until the next rock bottom hit.

My phases of happiness would last a while, until circumstances forced me to re-think my initial idea resulting finally, in making a new decision as I moved along my life path. All the time, it was the difficult times that were my motivation to move on, to change aspects of my life, and achieve even more than I already had. Life seems to be filled with these rock bottoms, but more importantly, it appears to me that they are there for a purpose - the purpose of continually pursuing happiness and satisfaction. After all, if we found ultimate happiness and satisfaction, what would motivate us further?

Looking back, I see that my curve of happiness went steadily upwards, my rock bottoms effectively pushing me to know myself and what makes me tick; to understand what I like and don’t like, what I do well with and not so well, and what motivates me – and “failure” always motivated me. Actually amazing actually is it not? Well, thinking about it...not really!

So what is failure?

Failure is really only the end of one thing and the beginning of another. It is like a doorway, a threshold, an opening to something new.

Theories of Creativity and Creative Problem Solving...

One of the subjects I taught ongoing art therapists in my training institute many years ago was Theories of Creativity.

Now this is interesting. Perhaps you are unaware of the fact that artistic creativity is nothing other than a constant problem solving process and that it is always a problem that motivates decisions for the artist: which materials to use for example and which format, what subject...and then where to start, what colours, how to use the brush etc., a series of never ending little problems which can feel quite daunting, followed by decisions or solutions. Well, possible solutions because every time these decisions would be followed by yet another small problem and another big decision! This, never ending, until the painting or art work is completed and then, finally, after completion, there would be the question of what next?

Theories of Creativity are very similar, if not the same, as Theories of Problem Solving and what is more, these are really the same theories used in business all over the world as well as in life in general. So looking a little closer at this, I want to share some thoughts on creative problem solving with you.

Firstly some definitions...

What is creativity?
There are a number of theories on creativity but what they have in common is that it is a destructive/constructive process that destroys old perceptions through new ones. All creativity involves combining and re-combining previously known elements into unique new configurations. This process is guided by the subconscious which is normally restrained, but during a creative process is far less restrained. In order to be creative, one has to be divergent, convergent, and evaluative and this is measured by the flexibility and fluency of our responses. One needs to be sensitive to what needs changing in order to redefine the information or the situation. And in the end, the success of any creative or problem solving process is based on the originality of the result or product. The product is always a transformation something known into something not previously known. This then leads to another definition..

What is creative problem solving?
Creative Problem Solving is the mental process of creating a solution to a problem. It is a special form of problem solving in which the solution is independently created rather than learned with assistance. To qualify as creative problem solving, the solution must either have value, clearly solve the stated problem, or be appreciated by someone, for whom the situation improves.

What about Artistic Creativity?
It is incorrect to think that while problem solving always involves creativity, artistic creativity does not involve problem solving. In the fields of music, poetry, writing and art for example, the artist is constantly solving problems: which color to use, which brush, which word or which theme to make use of? The artist is trying to create something that gets as close as possible to his/her deepest desire, his/her deepest thought or emotion. It also requires newness as a characteristic of what is created, something that will appeal to the artist. However, this does not necessarily imply that his/her creation has value or is appreciated by other people.

What constitutes a problem that requires solving?
The situation prior to the solution does not need to be labelled as a problem. Alternate labels include: a challenge, an opportunity, a situation which can be improved on, or in which there is room for improvement. Next, we need to have a closer look as the phases of creativity and creative problem solving.

Phases of Creativity and Creative Problem Solving Processes

Most theories on creativity define certain phases in a set order. Based on the work of various researchers, I have combined a number of these and defined 6 main phases to creativity and to creative problem solving. Each phase is clearly defined and is accompanied by different emotions.

Orientation Phase: recognising the fact of a problem that needs a solution

Preparation Phase: gathering information about the problem and converting a fuzzy or confused statement of the problem into a broad statement, one that is more suitable to idea finding.

Incubation Phase: almost like being pregnant with the problem. This is usually a sub-conscious phase - waiting for the solution or illumination to “come” while the old and the new stand side by side - the most difficult phase.

Illumination Phase: recognising the solution, what we call a “aha” moment, accompanied by good feelings of pending activity.

Implementation Phase: giving physical form to the idea or “aha” solution – a very active phase of putting the solution into practice.

Verification Phase: verifying the solution as we evaluating or judge the result as to its effectiveness.

And then we are once again very possibly at the new beginning of yet another "problem" that needs solving, and another possible "rock bottom" in life.

The time between the Verification Phase and a new Orientation Phase may be immediate and it may be years. One solution invariably leads to another decision making or problem solving process sooner or later and the process starts again.

Of these phases, the second one, the Incubation Phase, is the most difficult to endure. You know something needs changing because you have recognised the problem. Possible solutions come and go as the mind goes overtime thinking things through, going around and around in a seemingly never ending spiral, backwards and forwards. Emotions run haywire and self-esteem seems not to exist as the actual decision, the final solution seems not to completely emerge.

This phase is ended by the long awaited for “aha” moment which is nothing else than “knowing” - knowing what to do next, bringing relief to the turmoil. Emotions cool down as the mind slows down, as it is now able to think: “I am able to do something...this is what I can do!”

Once again, this is very interesting as, while realising the solution to a problem, there is no certainty about the outcome – ever. Yet we feel relieved because we can finally go into action.

Putting the solution into practice is the real hard work which still has to subsequently be verified as to whether the solution was that good - and this always results in a new problem. Why? Because there is never a totally final solution to anything. If there were, we would no longer exist. We would no longer have anything to live for, anything to work towards - and as humans, we need this “needing” something to work towards. Our striving is always to get better, be better, better the situation, better something in our lives. And that is the very purpose of evolution itself.

The real problem to any problem

The real problem to any problem is having a never ending variety of choices. Some choices are perceived, some are not. And then not knowing which choice to make, or being fearful it may be the wrong one, which inhibits creative flow in any area of work or life. This is as true for artists as it is for work situations and indeed is applicable to all aspects of life. And is life itself not a series of problems that need to be solved, whether we realise this or not? We do it all the time. Perhaps we are aware of this process and perhaps not. We are however in this process constantly. In business as well as in play, in relationships and in aloneness, in all phases of life we proceed from one such situation to another.

A personal account of my recent “rock bottom”

I was in this predicament last year for months on end when my life was impacted by difficulties and problems after the passing of my father, and I hit aall time heavy “rock bottom”. My perceived family structure disintegrated into a continuum of total confusion as trusted family structures broke down, leaving my life in total disarray. What is more, the story reads like a Hollywood thriller/drama in an antagonist play, this being a play in which the antagonist takes over the role of the protagonist in determining the unfolding drama.

The protagonist: the CEO of the large welfare organisation which my parents had begun when I was just 10 years old. She had enjoyed a particularly close relationship with my father with whom she worked together very closely. My 90 year old mother did not particularly like her and after my father’s passing, found herself totally dependent on the CEO’s decision as to where and how she would continue to live. After the CEO invited herself to our family funeral she topped this by standing up suddenly as the main speaker, catapulting my mother into a mentally confused, almost paranoid state of being.

The antagonist: my brother, a drug addict from an early age and now chronically alcoholic, saw this as his chance of consolidating his lifestyle, and removed my mother from her protected place of residence with all the care she needed, and refused to tell anyone to where he was taking her. This resulted in my mother being missing for some weeks. The difficulty was, she went willingly - in her mind, she was fleeing from the clutches of the CEO and she did not comprehend the consequences of such a move. His motivation, being what he was, was obviously to secure her money and her furniture.

The police, family courts and lawyers all had their hands tied. A High Court Order placing my mother under curatorship, allowing them to become active, would take months and cost a fortune, and what is more, may not even have been successful – my mom is charming with outsiders to the family and could easily have convinced the court that she was in her right mind – thus we had been warned by social workers and the psychiatrist I consulted.

The actors: My self, my sister and my nephew. Before the removal of my mom, I had exposed my brother to her when I found valuable small items of furniture missing and her bank card as well as drugs in his possession. She however did not want to believe me resulting in a breakdown of communication between her and myself.

Then too, the communication between my sister and myself broke down as each of us, still trying to come to terms with our father’s passing, hurting and emotional, were overwhelmed by the things we had to deal with.

Finally, the CEO informed me that my father’s firearms had been collected by my brother from their place of safe keeping with the “permission” of our mother, who thought she was preventing the CEO getting her hands on them, and my life was subsequently so seriously and evidently threatened, as to warrant a police protection order which, a few weeks later after the court hearing, resulted in a permanent warrant for the arrest for my brother.

At the handing over of the firearms to the police, it became apparent that one firearm was missing. The the police investigated my brother for some weeks claiming they were going to arrest and charge him with illegal possession of firearms as well as the loss (or illegal sale) of one of them. This however reached a dead end after my brother befriended the investigating officer and the investigation was stalled and finally stopped.

In the mean time, my brother’s son, whose legal guardian I am and who had been living with me since he was 8, became seriously ill with stomach ulcers (at age 14!) and was in and out of hospital during end of year school exams.

The story then nears an ending, two months later, with my brother deserting my mother during a drunken orgy and disappearing. After two days of being totally alone, her landlord finally managed, through the police, to get the details to contact my sister and myself, resulting in the communication between my sister and myself beginning anew, and we were finally able to get our mother out of town and to a safe place.

During all this, I spent many fearful nights of anxiety - the threat to my life in itself was no easy task to deal with, let alone the fear of what was to happen to my mother. I wept tears to fill barrels of rain water tanks as, in all this, I had no idea what to do or where to turn. All the official places of assistance offered no further help. Family members and long standing family friends became very quiet as they withdrew, one after the other, equally overwhelmed by the events and obviously not wanting to get involved.

Nights and days of de-capitulating depression resulted, draining all energy out of my being and leaving me just barely functioning at times. At the same time, understandably, I was hardly in a position to work effectively let alone at all - and after a total of 5 months of this drama and hardly earning anything while at the same time spending more on various consultations etc. as well as the repeated hospitalisation of my nephew, serious financial difficulties followed. It was horrendous.

For weeks on end, I found myself just reacting to the occurrences with no creativity, in fact no life force, flowing through me at all. The phrase “just an ordinary family” often came to my mind, and for the first time, I felt sympathy and understanding for families whose stories filtered into in the media from time to time. These stories of individuals in malfunctioning families had previously appeared unrealistic to me. Now I knew, they too, were just also just ordinary people in ordinary families going about an ordinary life - until the structures in place break down, seemingly out of the blue and nothing, absolutely nothing, seems ordinary any more.

I knew something had to change. I needed something to change. My nephew needed something to change. Something had to give and I did not want it to be our mental, emotional and physical health. This recognition ended my Orientation Phase and set off the Preparation Phase as my mind, at last, became more active trying to think of ways out.

After mentally playing with a number of solutions, including fleeing the country and returning to Germany, the answer arose. Thus, finally, my Incubation Phase set in. It came slowly, almost ghostlike until the solution was “suddenly” there and I could, once again, become active. On a short trip to Cape Town, two close friends sat patiently one afternoon listening to the pros and cons of my solution to this dillema, and by the end of the day I had my “aha” moment and the Illumination Phase was finally there: the decision to move to Cape Town had been made! I felt almost instantaneously relieved and catapulted out of everything that had immobilised me for months.

It had not been an easy decision to take. I have a large beautiful house on the Indian Ocean coast south of Durban which I absolutely loved, three adorable Jack Russell’s (who by the way, were my only warmth and comfort for most of those months), my nephew was in a boarding school not too far away....never the less, it felt good to be going into the active Implementation Phase. Within a few short months of pretty hectic planning, after the school year had ended and my facilitation at the 3-week International Tantra Teacher Training in the Northern Drakensberg was over, my nephew and I arrived in Cape Town early this year - with five suitcases and 25 kilos overweight - finally leaving everything behind.

Now, just on two months into Cape Town living, the Verification Phase to my personal rock bottom solution is feeling very good. The grass is green, the sky is blue, flowers are blooming and the sun is shining – and how it has been shining in Cape Town this summer! My heart is open and warm and I feel pretty “normal” in my life again. I function once again as accostomed, full of creativity and activity, once again enjoying my life in spite of tons of things to attend to as we settle down.

Life now continues in a more "normal" way. I would never had made this decision had not the circumstances last year forced me into action. There is still much to be achieved (my Jack Russels have yet to join me in Cape Town, my house in KZN has to be organised and prepared to go onto the market (which granted still has to revive), new jobs for my beloved domestic workers who had been with me for so long need to be found, much of my moms' furniture has to be divided amongst family members - the list is still endless. But I am now in a position to tackle these tasks, one after the other, and I know, I really do know, that all this will subsequently fall into place slowly.

I sleep well once again and what is more, I have been able to read a couple of novels as well as to write again! New Durga Tantra School retreats are planned and soon, next week actually, Ines, one of the tantric massage practitioners from Germany that I met on the International Tantra Teacher Training, will arrive to spend two months with me, furthering her training and sharing her work with many of my students. My nephew is well settled into his new Cape Town school, now no longer a boarder - this was part of our solution plan - and is laughing and joking and his usual self again. The transisition to becoming a real mum once again, after years of not having this role, has been gentle and actually quite easy, and I find myself enjoying all the cooking, washing of school uniforms and the overseeing of homework involved in the life of a now 15 year old boy. Life is good to both of us!

No doubt, life in Cape Town life will present smaller and perhaps even bigger situations for similar problem solving processes. When it does, would this mean the original decision was a mistake? Not at all! It would simply mean that the circle of life continues as it always does. It presents us with various situations that stretch us, sometimes beyond our wildest dreams. The stretching will result in new endings presenting new beginnings once again.

Why am I relating this piece of my personal life to you, the reader?

I wish to inspire you to think of life along these terms. I would like to motivate you to use this pattern, this interface for your own creative problem solving processes when you have situations requiring radical change...and I hope to instil in you a feeling of everything being in perfect order when things appear to go terribly wrong in your life.

I have always known this basic fact of life and have always reacted in this way, intuitively, instinctively. My instinct was always to survive and to do this well. What Tantra has given me however, is the insight to understand these processes like never before and the strength to experience what has to be experienced, even more fully than ever before.

Taking up the path of Tantra, I have a science, a method and a way of life that supports me all the way. More particularly, I have the knowledge that I can make something out of any situation, even the worst situation imaginable.

Tantra has given me the wisdom to know that I am not a victim of circumstances. I am perhaps an executor of circumstances, but never a victim. How do I feel in my life since coming to Tantra? I feel simply human and I love my life. Just an ordinary woman in an ordinary life, I can create something that will solve anything...and so can you!

Much love and inspiration to you all...
Leandra

"The story of our life is, in the end, not our life. It is our story"
(From the movie Americano)

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”
Robert Frost

The Way Home...Relationships & Sexuality - A Tantric Perspective

2010-11-04T21:50:00.009+02:00

( Painting by Leandra - Watercolor Pencils on paper)

This article was published in Odyssey Magazine (August/September 2010).

Although we are living in the age of sexual liberation, it is rare to find people enjoying a fulfilling sexuality. We have been led to believe that spirituality and sexuality are divided, and struggle to find meaning in our sexuality. The sexual revolution of the sixties has in fact, led to marketing life's most intimate moments, resulting in floods of images that appear to have liberated us from conventional norms but in fact, have simply created a new cliché

The pressures of a busy and stressful modern life, the challenge of on-going relationships and marriage as well as bringing up children within full working lives, presents an enormous strain on individuals and couples. Intimacy is often reduced to having sex as a kind of sleeping pill at night, resulting in a quick release of tension and a general feeling of emptiness. The principles of our performance-oriented society have forced their way into the bedroom resulting in more and more men and women experiencing sexual difficulties. Literature teaching sexual techniques and a variety of sexual positions or sexual diversions, do not seem to hold the key to sexual or relationship fulfillment. We seem to chase one thrill after the other, one orgasm after the other or for that matter, one sexual escapade after the other without actually finding what we are looking for.

The result is intimacy that is not uplifting and lacking in real joy or any form of spirituality and the fulfillment of our hearts’ desires remains elusive. Over and above this, many adults are burdened with sexually repressive conditioning from childhood, education, religion, and in South Africa, we know too well that even politics can play a huge role in how we think and feel and with whom we engage sexually.

Whether we live in a relationship, alone or in varying relationships, our lives seem so often to be accompanied by loneliness and a lack of love. Most individuals seem to be longing for an affirmation of self in a partner, while yearning for vitality and a form of sexuality that affirms the unity of body and soul.

Despite the fact that Tantra is thousands of years old, it presents us with a very real possibility to transcend these difficulties arising from this very modern situation. Tantra cultivates, deepens and spiritualises human nature without presenting it as imperfect or repressing any aspect of it.

Tantric literature on the market today however, is often in the form of sex manuals, promising bigger and better orgasms and more sexual satisfaction, whereas Tantra is actually so much more. Tantra is a non-dogmatic spiritual path, a teaching of non-judgmental, absolute and unconditional love. It teaches meditation in the most physical moments of human experience, positively encompassing and influencing all aspects of life and particularly relationships of all kinds.

An ever-expanding system that has matured through the ages, Tantra is an art, a method and a science, an outlook and a way of life that teaches us how to open our hearts, how to embrace our emotionality and sexuality, enabling us to celebrate the whole of life, and recognising the Divine essence within all beings. Tantra is in effect an experiential path of transformation.

In contrast to traditional psychotherapy, esoteric and other healing modes, Tantra uses the body and its physical expression to work on blockages in the subconscious, embracing the sexual emotionally, physically and spiritually, and thus doing, satisfying and amplifying the human soul. Most of us, have forgotten how to connect and live from a place of being whole and perfect already. Tantra shows us the way back home.

Tantra trains the body to improve its capacity for the flow of life energy, giving the mind a higher ability to concentrate, and the soul ease and lightness. Rather than concentrating on the heights of physical pleasure alone, Tantra details the mental states to be achieved during sexual activity enabling us to bridge the gap of sexuality and spirituality.

Each human being is understood as a reflection of the entire cosmos. By entering inside one's own subjective being with a witnessing consciousness, all aspects of the body, mind and emotions are revealed in their refined potential. With the whole person being accepted as divine, each aspect of being human can become a door to expanded consciousness. Tantra teaches how to embrace our whole experience of human existence, including sexuality, and in so doing experience something of who we really are and our relationship to the Divine.

Central to Tantra is the understanding that sexual energy is our life force, and that the universe, and humans as individuals, are all filled with the same energy. Sexual energy is reclaimed as sacred, healing the split between body and spirit. Any repression of this energy leaves us unbalanced and damaged. Trauma, (grief, pain, embarrassment, physical or emotional abuse etc.) stored in our body as a body memory results in blockages or limitations which continue throughout our lives, reducing our emotional and physical well-being, inhibiting our flow of energy and limiting a full expression of life and sexuality. Tantra can be seen as a reconciliation of sexuality and spirituality.

In its very essence Tantra is the yoga of presence, of becoming aware or conscious of “what is” in the body at any given moment. This includes our emotions and thoughts as we learn to accept whatever is arising in the moment without judgment.

The refined potential of every human being is Divine, and Tantra shows you how to experience this divineness in a busy life through a new understanding of how to cultivate male and female energy and use it to our best potential. The very basic and single most important aspect of tantric sexuality and meditation is breath, which is fundamental to our very being. With the conscious use of breath during the sexual union it becomes the highest prayer, the closest humans can get to being and feeling Divine. What is more, in the very moment of orgasm, something unique and profound occurs: we drop personal identity, all that we identify as “the me” in our lives and become, for some few moments, the Divine essence that we truly are. Orgasm is the simplest way of dropping our ego’s - all it takes to experience this, is conscious awareness of that very moment. In this space, be it with a partner or alone, we merge with Consciousness and experience Bliss. Once experienced, we no longer seek that great orgasm for the sake of it, we no longer seek perpetual sexual escapades that leave us empty. We seek only to “Be”, in the moment, pure, simple, just who we really are.

The eastern Mystic Osho once said” Sex is just the beginning, not the end, but if you miss the beginning, you will miss the end also". In order to have fulfilling relationships we need a fulfilling sexuality, and more so, we need the reconciliation of sexuality and spirituality. It is the separation of the two that predicts frustration, dooming the very relationships we hold so high, to become simply getting through life’s turmoil’s, with little of the peace of being that we long for.

A tantric journey, both for individuals and couples, offers a wonderful answer to all of this. It takes courage to go this route, but it is rewarding in a very real sense, not just sexually. There is an abundance of literature on the market available as a guide, however the best way of experiencing Tantra and starting this journey, is with a dedicated and genuine teacher, teaching from the heart and with love, who will guide you in either individual sessions or in residential retreats. The reward for both individuals and couples is great.

You can begin right where you now are, and what is more, there is nothing you have to believe in, no dogma to be accepted, in order to experience the benefits of Tantra.

Ma Anand Leandra (September 2010)

"The first part has to be sex.
The second part has to be love.
The third part has to be prayer, and the fourth has to be transcendence.
So from the gross to the subtle you move.
And in the fourth, sex has to completely disappear, love too, prayer too.
Make it absolutely silent, peaceful, meditative...
not even a trace is left.
These are the four stages of Neo-Tantra...”
Osho

Life is the rose in my heart...

2010-11-02T21:17:00.003+02:00

Life is the rose in my heart.
Life is the scent of roses radiating through me.

Life is the sun in my in breast making the rose bloom.

Life is the rain on my skin nourishing the blossom.

Life is the wind in my soul chasing the clouds away.

Life is the storm in my mind bringing new clarity.

Life is the fire in my yoni burning the old and growing the new.

Life is the love in my heart,
blossoming like a rose and filling space with it's beauty and fragrance.

Life is the air that breathes me and the power that carries me.

Life is the love flowing through my heart making me all that I am.

Life is all that I am:
Beloved heart forever glowing, Beloved rose forever blooming.

Poem & both paintings by Ma Anand Leandra
(Aquarell on paper)

Follow up on my last blog re tantric massage training...

2010-09-16T17:18:00.001+02:00

Hi everyone,
I just heard about the latest training method for tantra massage: teach yourself, give a friend (who is a regular massage therapist) a massage and receive one from him and get him to give you a certificate! So beware when you read "I am currently in training". Ask who the trainer is, what his/her background is and just how many hours training is taking place. If you don't, you may find yourself getting a tantric massage by such a "trained & certified" practitioner.

This is by the way the training that the person I described in my previous blog who works in Bryanston, Johannesburg is undergoing. She had 9 hours of a 60 hour training with me before she broke the training off and started advertising tantric massage on her website. She also advertises on her website that she is currently in training and will soon be receiving her certificate.

I don't mind what people do, but I do mind when clients are conned into believing someone is trained and certified in any massage, let alone tantric massage. And remember, tantric massage is not any massage, slightly changed to be more sensual with the added benifit of a "happy end". That is sensual massage or erotic massage, and no matter how good it is, it is not, cannot be tantric massage.
Make sure you get the real deal when seeking tantric massage - and ask yourself, what the worth of a practitioner is who advertises like this.
Do I have a chip on my shoulder? Probably, but I think it is a good one!

Warm greetings
Leandra

What does spring have to do with tantric massage?

2010-08-25T04:24:00.016+02:00

The last time I wrote in my journal, winter was coming alive and this time it is spring's turn to peek-a-boo at us as the last cold days slowly recede.

Have you noticed the first new fresh leaves appearing on some shrubs or emerging buds on otherwise empty branches...dainty, translucent light green against the dark green of winter ever greens? Oh how I love the contrasting colours as the cold yields to the arrival of the warmer season allowing the new and the old to stand adjunct each other. There is no other season that shows so clearly that everything in life is a continual process of death and new birth.

Theories on Creativity & Problem Solving are a bit like spring

Is it not like this when we make changes in our lives? The old is still apparent while the new is emerging, and we have a chance to look at both, a chance to re-visit what we are leaving behind while embracing that which is new. It is, to me, awe inspiring and quite amaizing. It is also extremely difficult. In theories of creativity and problem solving, this is recognised as the emotionally most uncomfortable phase. It is the so-called “Incubation Phase”. The creative solution or answer is not quite clear and the old and the new stand side by side. Thoughts and reasoning, accompanied by the respective attached emotions, sway back and forth until such time as what is called “illumination” is experienced. This is sometimes called an “ah-hah experience”.

But more about this in another journal entry, what is relevant here, is the fact that creativity can be defined quite simply as the ability to look at one thing and see another.

There are a number of different theories on creativity, but what they have in common is that, it is seen to be a destructive/constructive process during which old perceptions are destroyed and replaced by new ones, and that the process is guided by the subconscious, which normally is restrained, but during a creative process needs to be, and usually is, far less restrained.

Creative or problem solving processes

A creative process involves combining and recombining previously known elements into new, unique configurations. In order to be creative, one has to be divergent, convergent, and evaluative, and this is measured by the flexibility and fluency of our responses. One needs to be sensitive to what needs changing, in order to redefine the information or the situation. And in the end, the success of any creative or problem solving process is based on the originality of the result or product. The product is always a transformation of something known into something not previously known.

Spring symbolises or rather epitomises this process. Although the process of a particular flower springing forth form a closed bud is well known to us, each flower is, each and every time, completely unique.

Spring in terms of personal changes

For us, spring is often a time when, coming out of the cold, withdrawn winter days, we feel new life emerging as we become more active and begin to put plans and ideas, pondered on during the less energetic winter months, into action. This is often when the new feels ready to come alive, ready to be born, ready to be implemented, and also a time when we ourselves feel ready to finally give birth to something new in our lives.

It is not surprising to me that, in my life, this is exactly what is happening. I have come out of a long period of trying to do something which would just not materialise. Accompanied by feelings of despondence and perseverance, of hope and disappointment, of trust and disbelief, with spring emerging, finally all my efforts appear to have formed a new bud, and the blossom is slowly beginning to break through.

First of all I want to share with you that which is old and withered and receding in a sense, and then I will also share with you the new, a tender bud ready to burst into life, a new creation - something about my personal destructive/constructive process. And in sharing this I hope to offer an answer to the question: what makes a tantric massage practitioner real?

Finding women to work with

It has been a very long and difficult journey trying to find women to train in tantric massage. Those of you who have followed my journal since 2008 will know this. Time and time again, I had so much hope and put in so much effort, and each time it would not materialise the way I had envisaged. Left, right and centre, the women changed their minds, often even before the training started. There seem to be many reasons for this, the main one was always their fear of the intimate, sexual aspect of the work.

Over time, I have had to recognise however, it was also the way I was going about things that was causing me difficulties. I was offering the training free of charge, and I was too trusting - so I have been told by those who know me well – and the combination of the two would not, could not work.

Tantra Sacred Massage training program

So early this year, I changed this, set up a detailed 60 hour training program for a nominal fee. It was neatly designed to include practical and theoretical work as well as an "on the job" internship in my Tantra Sacred Massage practice, culminating finally in Practical’s, whereby the student would work with clients under my before-and-after supervision. These sessions were to be documented, and finally there would be an oral exam on the basis of this documentation. A certificate and membership in NITSA (National Institute of Tantra, South Africa) would complete the process. And in addition, there would be an abundance of work in my Tantra Sacred Massage practice. The new practitioner would work in my set up premises, with no personal cost involved except their transport to get there. I also I enlisted a corporate lawyer who set up a written agreement covering the training as well as the subsequent work and I finally, would continue to mentor the new practitioner.

The standards for training in Germany, where my own training was, are extremely high, resulting also in a high financial investment. I had tried to formulate a program that suited the particular situation in South Africa: lack of funds for a many people struggling to make a living and very short yearly leave. I was offering the minimum amount of time and costs for a maximum amount of good training, plus guaranteed work after training - what I was offering felt good and really and fair and I thought it would work well.

So what happened?

The first candidate...
was a 34 year old woman from my home village on the Durban South Coast. She and her partner were naturists and she already ran a small tantric massage practice from her home. Her “training” had been with a fellow naturist, a professional massage therapist who had adapted his work to include sensual massage. The issues with the intimate nature of the work that I had had in the past would not feature here.

Her training with me went very well - as long as we were working together. Then shortly after my dad became seriously ill, I asked her to go to Johannesburg to take the already fully booked massage sessions on her own, avoiding having to cancel them – and this is when everything began to go horribly wrong.

She missed bookings, I received reports that she was late, that the room was totally unprepared and cold, that she was even speaking badly about me and that on one occasion, she was busy massaging a friend when the booked student arrived. Our communication seemed to have broken down as she did not take my calls or answer my SMS.

Only when her boyfriend let something slip in a conversation with me, did I begin to understand: she had been advertising erotic massages with “happy endings” secretly on a website using nude photos of herself to animate people to book! I needed to protect myself and my work and booked an immediate flight to Johannesburg. Ten minutes before I even arrived at my garden cottage in Greenside, she had left, on foot, suitcase and all.

The second candidate...
was a holistic massage practitioner based in Johannesburg. As she had an 8 year old daughter, she wanted to combine a beach holiday with her daughter with the start of the training, and so we arranged for her to begin her training during the school holidays. I generously took them both into my home for 10 days as she had no money to finance accommodation – I know, same story, I was too trusting - and thus we began the training.

I arranged a meeting with the lawyer who set up the agreement, and when she asked for some changes to be made, I readily agreed. Part of the discussion (and the agreement) was the fact that she would not offer tantric massage from her holistic massage practice. This would have defeated the purpose of taking her into my practice. She had no problem in agreeing to keep her holistic massage practice and my tantric massage practice completely separate.

Now this 47 year old woman had absolutely no prior experience with Tantra, she had indeed never even read a book about Tantra and knew very little what it was about. I felt however, that the training would give her all she needed to get started and that my continued mentorship would do the rest. She had told me that she offered "happy endings" for certain clients, and so it again appeared that the intimacy problems of previous candidates would not feature here. I could not have been further from the truth!

The training began with my giving her a very first experience of a tantric massage. It remained incomplete as she refused to receive the yoni massage. We discussed her fears at length, and agreed that we would take the time she needed to get accustomed to the idea of the yoni massage.

We then used the 4-handed massage on a client who offered to be the guinea-pig for her first training session. She however felt nauseous when I was giving the lingam massage and later told me that, this was how she always felt when she gave her "happy endings". The reason for this, so she told me, was the fact that she had worked as a prostitute in her twenties and had learnt to shut down her emotions. She further told me, that she had been sexually molested by her father as a child and had received no therapy for this. I explained that it was here that she learnt to shut down her emotions, and she had never learnt to recover them. Again we agreed that we would take all the time she needed for her to heal these wounds, and indeed, a tantric process was ideal. I undertook to work carefully and gently, her personal healing was paramount to her working with clients professionally with Tantra Sacred Massage.

Another piece of information she gave me was why she gave some clients “happy endings” in her holistic massage practice, although doing this made her feel sick: she was not getting many bookings, she desperately needed the cash, and the “happy endings” meant “they (the clients) will come back. I do it for the money”.

By the time she left, she had had a wonderful free holiday with her daughter and we had completed only 9 training hours. She had not received or given a yoni massage, she had not given or learnt to give the lingam massage. She did experience half a tantric massage, and had experienced my work in two massage sessions. After her nausea during the first session however, I had to ask her to leave the room before I gave the lingam massage in the second session - my student from Germany was well experienced in receiving tantric massages and had paid for his session, I was not going to compromise his experience as a result of her inhibitions. .

She also had also, as all my student do, had a brief introduction to the basic tantric breathing technique, which she was to practice on a daily basis before we would continue the training in Johannesburg three weeks later. Finally I loaned her some good tantric reading material and she returned to Johannesburg.

Again, immediately after her leaving, the communication broke down. After a few days, I visited her website and guess what? She was advertising tantric massage as a service for a fee. When I dared to mention to her "you're not supposed to be doing this..." she exploded, highly dramatic, and after a series of erratic and very rude SMS, claiming amongst other things, that I had a control problem, and that I must be a very unhappy person, she refused to take my calls. Needless to say, she also refused to pay the final training instalment, nor did she sign the agreement - and I struggled to get my books back.

A short while later, her website boasted testimonials from more than satisfied clients raving about her “magic”, about being elevated 6cm above the table, about feeling relaxed to the extent it was like they were “drugged”, about her “magical” fingertips and the fact that she breathed with them throughout the session....and wow, wow, wow! Her website now offers "Transforming Tantric Massage" given by a "Tantriker" and the list of similar testimonials gets longer and longer.

The description of what tantric massage is and does is mostly about the “power” her clients are able feel after undergoing one of her tantric massages, plus a whole lot of other stuff, taken from the books I loaned her and from information I had so freely given her, mostly taken totally out of context – for anyone who has experienced the “real thing” it would be very clear that she really has no idea, but I assume it sounds good to the unknowledgeable reader.

I'm going to end my account of the story here, the rest is irrelevant.

My thoughts on this...

My shock about this is not so much about what happened to me – I have learnt so much from this experience that my profit is great. Far more, I am absolutely devastated by the fact that I made this possible.

Putting untrained, inexperienced people on the market, people who use Tantra as a quick fix to cash inflow problems, goes against everything I stand for, against what the path of Tantra is, against my professionalism, against my effort to offer South Africans practitioners who are not only well trained, but who have overcome their own personal issues around sexuality.

I don't doubt for one second that her clients are happy with what she does and if the testimonials are real, that they really feel she is some kind of very special massage practitioner. But is this tantric massage? That is the real question here.

Tantric Massage Training...

So obviously, if I am implying that it is not, what then is real tantric massage, what is a gifted tantric massage practitioner and last but not least, what is a real tantriker?

First of all, going by the training offered in Germany, which probably has one of the longest tantric traditions in the western world (dating back to the seventies), certainly boasts one of the largest tantric communities with an abundance of tantric schools and tantric massage practices, extensive training is necessary.

Nidhana from the UK, Lisa and Nils Kreidner from Germany, who all, on my invitation, worked with me here in South Africa, have had extensive training lasting literally years. The same applies to my own training. In addition we all have intensive professionally related trainings that impact directly on the work we now do.
Read more about their trainings go to the previous blog article or click on this link: http://leandrasjournal.blogspot.com/2010/08/tantra-training.html

We all come from, and have, different traditions, but the one thing we have in common, is extensive training, all of which started with many, many personal receiving, healing sessions with a qualified and experienced trainer.

We also have in common that we love and respect our trainers for what they gave us. We show them our recognition by naming them on our websites and sharing anecdotes from our own training in the work and amongst each other. We all have a very real sense of gratitude towards these trainers and have a connection with them, years after training. We would not dream of disowning our trainers, or of doing them wrong or showing them disrespect. This does not mean we agree with everything they do and say, the difference is that, as tantrics, we know how valuable these differences are.

To quote Nils Kreidner:

"The secret to authentic charisma lies in the ability to courageously and openly speak and live your truth and at the same time to absolutely welcome the truths of your fellow human beings, to actually fall in love with their different perspective and diversity."

Another thing we have in common is, we got over inhibitions, conditioning, trauma, sexual hurt, and inner fears, and to at least some extent our egos or "sense of valuable self" during our extensive spiritual trainings. We all are today, emotionally and sexually well adapted and open individuals, genuinely warm, loving and joyous in our lives, which we live to the full in one or other way. We all do not need to be praised into the heavens by our clients and indeed, the kind of praise on the above mentioned website, would be an indication that we are doing something very wrong! I tell my students "this is not about anything I do and I don't want you to be dependent on my massages. I want to give you the tools to understand that what you experience is all within you...all I offer you is the key to open closed doors and discover who and what you really are".

Oh yes, we all receive deep gratitude and warmth from our students, and are even deeply loved. This however, is not for how well we touch their bodies, but for how we touch their hearts and for how our work impacts positively on their lives.

Perhaps then, we are not the "real thing..."? I don’t think so!

What is genuine tantric practice..?

Tantra is NEVER about the practitioner and what their fingers, hands or bodies can do. It is never about having to go back to that particular person because of the magic they make possible. It is never about ego. Never! Real tantric work is always very modest, and it has to be if the spiritual process we have undergone has gone to the core of our being. We are not perfect human beings - we do however certainly aspire to live the perfection that we know we fundamentally are. We come from a place of perfection, and the objective of human life is to overcome the experience of separateness our humanity leaves us in, and reconnect with a deeply rooted experience of our real, spiritual nature.

One of the main informative Hinduism websites explains this what a tantric process is beautifully:

"Tantra itself means "to weave, to expand, and to spread", and according to tantrik masters, the fabric of life can provide true and ever-lasting fulfilment only when all the threads are woven according to the pattern designated by nature. When we are born, life naturally forms itself around that pattern. But as we grow, our ignorance, desire, attachment, fear, and false images of others and ourselves tangle and tear the threads, disfiguring the fabric. Tantra "sadhana" or practice reweaves the fabric, and restores the original pattern. This path is systematic and comprehensive."

Read more: http://hinduism.about.com/od/tantra/a/what_is_tantra.htm)

The article further makes clear that today in both the West and East, "a large number of tantrik enthusiasts mistakenly identify Tantra as the yoga of sex, magic, witchcraft, seduction, and an amalgam of techniques for influencing the minds of others".

Tantra "training" via DVD's, books and the internet...

There are a number of untrained people offering sensual massage under the banner of tantra massage in South Africa and many more world wide who have learnt by watching DVD's and reading books.

In the day of DVD's and the internet as well as an abundance of literature, I think we could agree that professionalism, in any area of life, still requires personal teaching and that at it's best modern technowledgy is befincial when it comes to easily accessible information. It does not make us professionals - and this applies to any training what so ever.

Tantric massage given by an untrained practitioner is, at its worst, manipulation, often to the extent that the client becomes dependant on the “blissful feeling” energy the practitioner is able to induce. At its best, it is a very good erotic massage.

I do have an issue with manipulation.I do not have an issue with good erotic massage. It is a useful service. But it can at the very most, bring temporary relief to symptoms of aloneness and create a "blissful feeling".

Had my teachers simply assisted me in having a "blissful feeling" with them, I would not have had the deeply mystical and transforming experiences that led to where I am today in my life. Had they not instilled in me that they were not teaching me anything, but only helping me to unlock that which was hidden inside of my being, I would probably still want to sit in their shadows, "feeling blissful" in their presence - and I would still be living from a space of personal trauma, fear and neediness, still looking for fulfilment outside of my being.

What then is the real thing?

Tantra is a spiritual teaching, uplifting the lives of those who are living with emotional pain and limiting conditioning, and for those who sincerely seek more meaning to life. This is what genuine tantric teachers and massage practitioners do. This is what Tantra is about. And it takes a genuine, real life teacher trainer or or guru to teach the teachers. Just because we all like to eat good tasty food, does not make us all five star cooks! Just because we all have sex, does not make us experts in sexual matters. On the contrary, the untrained and unmentored practitioner of Tantra can do a whole lot wrong. At its best, it can give people a good feeling, at its worst it can actually hurt and harm.
Thus my account of the old and dying branches of winter ends. I now I want to share the spring buds appearing on the dried out branches of my being.

The third candidate...
was a young 27 year old woman from Cape Town. She already had a tantric massage practice in Cape Town for some years and wanted to further her training with me. Her original training took place in South Africa, but with a visiting Ayurvedic and tantric practitioner from India, on his frequent private visits to family here in South Africa.

We connected in a deep way. Her understanding of Tantra was already very good, her work very real, I felt her passion easily, and so we quickly planned the future of our connection with each other...only to run into having to confront some of our deepest fears!

The difference here was: we were both willing and able to face them. In this particular destruction/ construction process we feared what we were giving up, afraid of what we would lose, protecive of what we has already achieved. We struggled to believe what we would gain, at times not wanting to see the added value we would give to each other if we put our work together. We battled with this over a period of about two intensive, deeply emotional months. Communication did not break down - it persevered in one way or another, until finally, the fears receded. The bud of this process finally emerged and and now it is spring time and the blossom is slowly breaking the bud open to show something of the beauty it will become.

I share this with you all just as it is right now. There is no promise of success, just the promise of the process and both of us going with it to where ever it takes us.

Samantha is working in Cape Town

So with great joy, I welcome Samantha from Lila Tantra to Tantra Sacred Massage. As of today, yes, this very day, she and I are entering a trial period of working together, and I have taken on the task of mentoring her. The difference in our ages makes this actually quite easy for us- we are mother and daughter, but also sisters, friends and fellow tantrics. And what is more, we are both students and teachers of each other, as is fitting for a true teacher/student relationship.

Samantha is a true tantric. She lives the life right down to the core of her being, as I do. Tantra is not something she only does when she is working, it is the way she lives, the way she connects with people, the way she treats those close to her, the way she deals with difficulties, the way she loves!

To become what is sometimes called a "tantriker" takes years. It does not meal sexually open, it does not mean earning hard cash through tantric massages, it does not mean DVD’s have been watched and books read. It means we have gone through an intense process that took years, during which we transformed to be who we are today.

Samantha and I are excited and you will, no doubt, see where this takes us and where it takes tantric massage in South Africa. We are both passionate about putting the real thing out there and our hope is that we will, eventually, find others to share this wonderful work with us.

Read more about Samantha on the Tantra Sacred Massage website: http://www.tantra-massage.co.za/pages/about-samantha.php

And what about future massage trainings...?

I will no longer offer training on a one-on-one basis. I will no longer take untrained people into practical work with my students. What I now will be offering, is a training program in the form of a series of residential weekends. The successful participation of these, will open the door to working with real clients – than and only then. This is the result of my destructive/constructive process as far as the training goes.

The first weekend will take place in the Western Cape in November and in the Northern Drakensberg early next year: A Taste Of Eros I- Tantric Touch & Massage Retreat. The first two weekends are open to all; the last two are for those wanting a professional qualification.

Read about this on the Durga Tantra Website: http://www.durgatantraschool.co.za/pages/retreat-schedule/taste-of-eros---massage.php

These are not the only buds growing on my tree of life at the moment. There are many more in my personal spring. I share these with you now, and some of the others, I will share these with you at a later stage.

Thank you for reading this lengthy journal posting. I hope it offers you some insight into what makes a real tantric massage practitioner. I hope that ir helps you make a more educated choice when you surf the net looking for tantric massage and tantric teachings. If this is the case, my posting has served its purpose.

Namaste
Leandra

Qualifications of Tantra professionals...

2010-08-24T04:28:00.042+02:00

To become a genuine Tantra Coach or Tantra Massage Practitioner requires extensive training. By example of the following practitioners, I'd like to give you an idea of the extent of the kind of training required to become genuine professional practitioners as well as my own trainings.

Nils Kreidner: Director of Sahaja Tantra, Germany & Tantra Massage Practitioner
Lisa (Germany) and Nidhana (U.K.): Tantra Massage Practitioners
Ma Anand Leandra: Personal Tantra Coach, Director of the Durga Tantra School, South Africa, Tantra Massage Practitioner

(Nils, Lisa & Nidhana all visited and worked with me in South Africa on my invitation)

Tantra Trainings:

Nils trained for 2 years with a well known and successful school in Germany to become a qualified tantra teacher. He furthered his training with extensive tantra massage trainings.

Nidhana also trained for two years with an equally well known and successful Tantra school in the U.K., and had at least three years of training in tantric massage before she opened her practice.

Lisa trained for two years with the oldest Tantra school in Germany and now regularly assists with the trainings offered by the school.

Leandra trained with three different schools, one in South Africa and two in Germany. She has been classically initiated into Tantra by Swami Advait Rahassya and underwent further training with an international tantric touch expert, who came out of his retirement, to train her.

Previous trainings in related fields:

Nils began when he was 7 years old in Martial Arts, he subsequently became a 5th Dan expert in a comprehensive Japanese system, he quaified as a yoga teacher in India and is also a trained meditation teacher - this training started when he was 17! He has a teacher or guru that he follows around the world at least once a year, in order to simply be in his presence and learn from him, and he will join up with him again in India in January 2011, after the 21-day International Teacher Training which we are facilitating in the Northern Drakensberg in December. He also has other trainings, all offered by internationally well known teachers: seduction training with an international facilitator, wilderness training with a North American Indian.

Lisa has a very specialised and official training of a number of years, which empowers her to work with physically and mentally challenged people assisting and accompanying them with their sexually. She is one of very few qualflied practitioners working in Germany in this field.

Nidhana has had extensive training in Vortex Energy Healing, participated in the first group to have had this alternative healing work transmitted by one of only two world wide teachers. She is also a disciple of the Diving Mother Amma, and has spent time in her Ashram in India twice.

Leandra is a qualified psychoanalytical Art Therapist in Germany (a 4-year training), and has an abundance of further trainings in the psychotherapeutical field with international teachers. She also has 3-years training in Lomi Bodywork and all in all, about 30 years of experience working full time, professionally in Germany with all this.

She ran a busy private practice for 6 years before opening her Art Therapy training institute in Hamburg, Germany, (Institut fuer Interdisziplinaere Kunsttherapie), where she taught on-going art therapists in a unique method she developed: Psychodynamic, Process-Orientated Art Therapy. She presented this method was presented at leading Art Therapy and Psychotherapy conferences in the U.K, Germany, Austria and South Africa over a period of a number of years. She also was the chairperson of the governing body for the Arts Therapies in Germany for two years before returning to South Africa 8 years ago.

Her first spiritual teacher was Art Reade, a Mexican Apache and she participated in all his trainings over a period of 3 years in the eighties. She is a Sanyassin of Osho, the eastern Mystic who first made Tantra accessible to the western mind and who called her to him after her initiation into Tantra.

Death is a strange thing....but not morbid at all!

2010-04-30T14:35:00.002+02:00

Death is a strange thing. We know our whole lives about the fact of death, but when it enters our personal experience of life, it hits us like a brick wall. Until experienced at close quarters, we have no idea just what it feels like to be confronted with it.

As children we still have a natural curiosity about in death. I remember how my daughter took great interest in dead beetles or a dead new born bird that had fallen out of its nest lying on the pavement. She asked questions like “Where is it now?” and “What does “dead” mean?” and found the whole matter, not alarming, but rather interesting.

We lose this natural capacity to be curious about death as we grow older and learn that it is one of the taboo themes, slowly but surely, encroaching our lives. It is hushed, not openly spoken about, until at some stage, it seems not to belong to life at all - except for in insurance policies and news items. Death thus slowly becomes something to be fearful about. Other than that, it becomes a quiet thing in our lives, a stranger – until such time as we are personally confronted with it in one way or another.

My own relationship with death prior to the recent passing of my father was really quite good. Part of my tantric initiation was facing my fears around dying...and growing up in South Africa with burglar guards and security firms, violence on street corners and sometimes a rather brutal law enforcement, it was substantial. Facing these fears, I found a willingness to embrace death as something natural, even beautiful, as my understanding of the natural cycle of our life-force energy, not only in nature, but particularly also as human beings, grew. As my understanding of the naturalness of and what awaits us after death grew, so my fear naturally subsided.

But nothing of this prepared me for the impact it would have on me when my father died. It felt like nothing I had experienced before, it felt totally new and very deep and quite shocking.

The feeling of unchangeable loss was just as much a physical as well as emotional. In Tantra we embrace all feelings, all emotions, all experiences with totality, and we learn to own them completely as our own. Allowing the depth of the experience to increase, we are catapulted into the moment of “what is” completely. As we go from moment to moment in this way, we are truly in life, in living, in experiencing, in being, in being alive with the energy of life. Sometimes this is playful, sometimes joyful, sometimes it feels great. Other times, depending on what it is we are embracing, it almost feels static and overbearing, as if we are shutting down. But, in reality, it never is. In such a moment there are many nuances. Sadness is not just sad. It is so many things. It includes anger, regret and pain but also joy – if only we are willing to see it.

Death is such a thing. It feels sad to those looking on, but in reality it is just as wonderful a celebration as birth itself – only at the opposite end of life as human beings. It is a releasing of human life energy to become fully what we are, what we are meant to be, what we have strived to be and if we are willing, we can experience something of this as we look oh with sadness.

I chose a passage from Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet to read at the family funeral as well as at the large civic memorial service that the city of Durban gave my dad. Being a public figure, we had to, as a family, endure both services within two days of each other, and we wanted both to be a celebration of his life and so they were. This passage from Gibran had great meaning to me. Apart from becoming a fan of his writings as a pseudo-hippy in the late sixties (The Prophet, for all who do not know it, this is a must read on any spiritual path), there is something else that drew me to this passage when I was contemplating what to read at the funeral and memorial service.

My dad was a paraplegic from age three after contracting polio. I knew him from babyhood to have four legs. Two wearing trousers, and two made of wood, their tops covered in dark red, or black or green velvet, and he propelled himself forwards in quite a bumpy fashion. To me it was natural. That was how he was. I don’t recall exactly when it dawned on me that he was different, I assume it did at some stage, he however always remained just my dad and no different from any other dad who was just like something else. He drove a car, we went on holiday every year to his sister’s farm in the then Transvaal and he would drive the eight or nine hours solid to get there. He took us to the beach or to the drive-in, I sat on his lap listening to the wonderful stories he told, he dried my hair with a towel – he did all the things that other fathers generally did with their children. Even when he stopped walking with splints on his legs and crutches under his arms, and took to a wheelchair some time in his sixties, he was simply still just dad.

This changed dramatically for me seeing him in his ICU bed which he occupied for four weeks before passing away. He lay in bed without his splints, without his wheelchair nearby, his torso weakened by the operation he had had, he was helpless, unable to move. His strong shoulders and arms used so much to allow him movement, could no longer hold him, and every move he made, had to be done for him. I enjoyed the closeness this allowed me, as for the first time I was able to touch him as much as I liked. I stroked his head, massaged his feet and hands, and I put my hands under the blankets and stroked his chest and tummy and even his little legs. It was really only during this time that the reality of his physical handicap really impacted on me. And this is why this passage from The Prophet so easily came to mind as something I would want to read at the funeral and memorial.

In the first few days after his passing, I would sit on my veranda listening to the thrashing waves of the Indian Ocean, the comforting sea breeze and the night sounds of the crickets and frogs in my garden, and I would wonder where he is, where his energy had gone, what his consciousness was like. What I “saw” after four weeks of this helplessness, was that he was now dancing, freed from the physicality that he had overcome all of his life to be simply the man he was, fathering three children, becoming a highly respected member of the community, both in business as well as, together with my mom, his life-long humanitarian work, which has left an indelible mark on the city of Durban.

I never really thought about how hard it must have been for him at times, of how much more difficult life for him had been. The pain of realising this was huge and a sense of guilt arose in me, guilt for not understanding this earlier. To me he was always so strong and so capable, that I never saw him as a paraplegic until just before his death. The guilt was short lived. He would not have wanted it otherwise. He never asked for special attention. He led businesses, board meetings, gave talks and took on top roles in commerce and society with ease. Only the on-lookers would hold a breath when they saw him for the first time standing or walking with his crutches. His life was an inspiration to others who are physically challenged; an inspiration to be who they are in spite of the challenges they face. An inspiration to follow their dreams and fulfil their aspirations. Much in the same way as he was, as my dad, a major inspiration in my life.

Some few weeks before he became ill, he watched the interview with me about my work on the Let’s Chat With Mel show on M-net Series and loved it! He thought I was doing wonderful, very necessary work and encouraged me, saying “...you have to write a book”. Two days before he died, he repeated this: “You have to write a book about your work and you have to do it now. Don’t delay, don’t put it off. You must do it right away.” He said this with such determination, that it made a mark on me. I have taken this, his last wish for me, earnestly and I have started! I have a wonderful researcher assisting me and I intend to take time, to make the time, to get this well on its way before the end of the year.

But I digress. I was writing about my evenings on the veranda trying to come to terms with my dad’s death and contemplating where he now was. At some stage a thought came to me: “He is now free of his physical body, he is probably dancing now, dancing somewhere out there”! And thus Gibran’s The Prophet came to mind.

The book is a lovely little story about Almustafa, an old wise man who had lived the final years of his life, a lonely twelve years, in the city of Orphalese waiting for “his ship that was to return and bear him back to the isle of his birth.” On the eve of his final journey, the people of Osphalese finally began gathering to hear what he had to say, and so he returns from the shore to meet them and answer their questions, thinking “Shall the day of parting be the day of gathering? And shall it be said that my eve was in truth my dawn?”

And as the story unravels, the people of Orphalese ask him questions about life. His answers are valid to all of us today and are an inspiration for all aspects of life – about men and women, children, friendship, marriage, love, money, work, pleasure, beauty, prayer, religion ...and much more until the final question came:

“Then Almitra spoke, saying, We would ask now of Death.

And he said:
You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The night owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.

In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.
Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.”

Namaste
Leandra

An introduction to the Path of Tantra

2010-04-01T23:54:00.001+02:00

I so often get asked: "What is Tantra really about - is it all about great sex...?", and told how confusing it is looking for answers on the net. There are many paths of Tantra, many ways of teaching, and yes, it can be extremely confusing trying to bring it all down to some kind of understandable common denominator. With this journal entry, I'd like to make an attempt at clarifying some aspects of what Tantra is.
For those wanting to delve more practically into what Tantra is and what it offers, this month's Tantric Fire Couple's Retreats being held in Stanford and the Northern Drakensberg, and the Come Together Single's Retreat in the Northern Drakensberg, are excellent ways to start!

Warm greetings to you all
Leandra

An introduction to the Path of Tantra
Tantric literature on the market today, is often in the form of "how to" sex manuals, promising bigger and better orgasms and more sexual satisfaction. Tantra is however much more than a “school of sex”! It could however be called a “school of love” as it is a teaching of non-judgmental, absolute unconditional love. What it is, is a spiritual path teaching meditation in the most physical moments of human experience, positively encompassing and influencing all aspects of life, particularly relationships of all kinds.

Although we are living in the age of sexual liberation, it is rare to find people enjoying a fulfilling sexuality. The sexual revolution of the sixties in fact, has led to marketing life's most intimate moments, resulting in floods of images that appear to have liberated us from conventional norms but in fact, have simply created a new cliché.

Over and above this, many adults are burdened with sexually repressive conditioning from childhood, education, religion, and in South Africa, we know too well that even politics and governments can play a huge role in how we think and feel and with whom we engage with sexually. We have been led to believe that spirituality and sexuality are divided and we struggle to find meaning in our sexuality.

In addition, the pressures of busy and stressful modern life - of finding that “soul mate” and then the challenge of long lasting relationships and marriage, as well as bringing up children within full working lives - presents an enormous strain on individuals and couples. The principles of our performance-oriented society have forced their way into the bedroom resulting in more and more men and women experiencing sexual difficulties. Intimacy is often reduced to having sex as a kind of sleeping pill at night, resulting in a “quick” release of tension and a general feeling of emptiness. Equally dissatisfying for many individuals is one or other form of living promiscuously, one partner after the other, experiencing intimacy that is not uplifting and lacking in real joy, resulting in lives that are often accompanied by loneliness and a lack of fulfillment.

For many, the only way to combat this is by delving further into a materialistically orientated way or life, thrill seeking activities, substance dependencies and often some form of depression. Yet we long for vitality in our relationships and for a form of spirituality that affirms the unity of body and soul.

Despite the fact that it is thousands of years old, Tantra presents us with a possibility to transcend such difficulties arising from this very modern situation. Tantra cultivates, deepens and spiritualises human nature without presenting it as imperfect or repressing it. Rather than concentrating on physical pleasure alone, Tantra details the mental states to be achieved during sexual activity enabling us to bridge the gap of sexuality and spirituality.

An ever-expanding system that has matured through the ages, Tantra trains the body to improve its capacity for the flow of life energy, giving the mind a higher ability to concentrate, and the soul ease and lightness.

In contrast to traditional psychotherapy, esoteric and other healing modes, Tantra uses the body and its physical expression to work on blockages in the subconscious, embracing the sexual emotionally, physically and spiritually and thus doing, satisfying and amplifying the human soul. Most of us, have forgotten how to contact and live from a place of being whole and perfect already. Tantra shows us the way back home. Sometimes called a path to Enlightenment, to Bliss, Nirvana, Ecstasy, which occurs through the marriage of energy and consciousness, Tantra teaches you how.

From a tantric perspective, each human being is understood as a reflection of the entire cosmos. By entering inside one's own subjective being with a witnessing consciousness, all aspects of the body, mind and emotions are revealed in their refined potential. With the whole person being accepted as divine, each aspect of being human can become a door to expanded consciousness.
What is Tantra?

Tantra is an art, a method and a science, an outlook and a way of life that teaches us how to open our hearts, how to embrace our emotionality and sexuality, enabling us to celebrate the whole of life while recognising the Divine essence within all beings. Tantra is in effect an experiential path of transformation.

Originating in what is now modern India, Tantra is at least 5000-7000 or more years old, pre-dating and influencing both Hinduism and Buddhism. All world religions have subsequently had some form of tantric past, subsequently destroyed by main-stream fundamentalists. The result is that many religions believe you can have either physical pleasure or spiritual growth, but not both. Tantra disagrees entirely. Physical and sensual pleasure is understood as the key to our spiritual growth; without one, you can’t have the other.

The word Tantra is composed of the Sanskrit words for weaving and expansion. By weaving together, accepting and entering deeply into every aspect of our lives, including sexuality, our hearts and minds are able to expand into blissful oneness.

Another word for Tantra is Sacred Sexuality or Spiritual Sexuality. Everyone has their own definition of what is "spiritual" and "sacred" are, but most of us agree it refers to something wonderful, loving, joyous, and transcendent – something beyond us. And yet in Tantra we find that it is within us as well. Central to Tantra is the understanding that sexual energy is our life force, and that the universe and humans as individuals are all filled with the same energy. Sexual energy is reclaimed as sacred, healing the split between body and spirit. Therefore any repression of this energy leaves us unbalanced and damaged. Trauma, (e.g. grief and pain, embarrassment, physical or emotional abuse etc.) is stored in our body as a body memory. The effect of these memories are blockages – repression and limitations - which continue throughout our lives, reducing our emotional and physical well-being, inhibiting our flow of energy and limiting our expression of life and sexuality in one or another way.

Tantra rejects the repressive, moralistic, and self-denying code of living propounded by many religions and cultures, resulting in our emotional, sensual and our body’s sexual needs are met with guilt, repression, denial and punishment. When attention is paid to bodily needs, it’s usually aimed at avoidance, for example of disease or pregnancy. Little attention is paid to the development and expansion of our body’s sensuality and there is no other teaching that shows us how to embrace and value this as does the Path of Tantra. Tantra teaches how to embrace and value your sensual self, the whole of your body including your sexuality and in so doing experience something of who we really are and our relationship to the Divine.

In order to become whole, to grow and blossom as adults, these blockages and repressions need clearing from both our physical and psychic systems. One thing that most religions agree on is the fact that we are more than our physical body. The understanding in Tantra is that, there is actually no separation between our physical body and that which is more than the body. In fact, there is no separation between us and others, between us and the world around us, between us and all of existence. Tantra is a non-dualist understanding of the world. Each and every one of us, in essence, is already divine, whole, and perfect.

In its very essence Tantra is a yoga - the yoga of presence i.e. becoming aware or conscious of what is going on in your body, emotions, and thoughts, learning to accept whatever is arising in the moment without judgment. Sexual energy and our personal expression of sexuality are included in the tantric concept of the body and of life in general. Tantra can therefore be seen as a reconciliation of sexuality and spirituality.

Although tantric strands have emerged within various religions, Tantra itself is not a religion and requires no prior belief system. It is essentially an experiential path leading to gnosis (knowing through experience) or inner wisdom. We learn to go beyond the limitations of the ego, ultimately touching the limitlessness of the Universe and within that, our wholeness. In fact, with Tantra, each sensorial experience offers a door to cosmic consciousness.

How does Tantra do this?

The sensual component of tantric rituals is characterized by creative uses of dance, music, colours, flowers, aroma, food, and particularly our sense of touch. It is systematic, serious and thorough, but also playful, fun and wild, reclaiming the body, mind, and sprit to own as ones own. This leads to inner freedom - freedom to celebrate your body, your sexuality, your soul desires: freedom from fear, from guilt and shame; freedom to breathe and feel deeply; freedom to be fully present in the NOW.

A student of Tantra will at some stage, experience what is called a tantric awakening. This means gaining mastery of the emotions. All negative emotion, when projected toward others, is like a spinning wheel or magnet. It does nothing to address the source of the issue, and hurts ourselves even more than the other.

Two things are essential to, and at the same time the result of a tantric awakening:

1.) Conscious choice or taking responsibility for all our emotions and choices.

Blame and victimization lead to feelings of separateness and neediness. Subconsciously however, we know that we must be more than this. We really do want to create our own destinies and to take rightful ownership of our full power.

2.) Discarding internal agendas that do not serve our highest good.

This means the courage to know ourselves on a deep level, to know what we really want and then how to act on that desire. In other words, surrendering to the soul's desire and knowing that we are pure divinity. We are not the sum of our negative emotions, personal lies and the petty games we play. We are so much more than our judging, self-condemning mind would lead us to believe. We are talented, beautiful, and unique children of God.

The nature of Tantra is experiential. It is not something one can learn from a lecture or a book or by watching a DVD. These can only give ideas and hints. Tantra needs to be, has to be experienced. Whether you are single or in a relationship, you need to practice what you read and see. Your learning is essentially from your experiences. Each personal development in Tantra - physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually - is totally unique. You can begin the Tantric path from wherever you are right now. If you have anger or hurt, you can discover the tremendous potential for spiritual awakening contained within that energy. If you are feeling sexual, this quality becomes a key to open all the secrets of human energy. All you need is a willingness to explore your inner world and be prepared to let go of conditioning and open your heart and soul to joy and bliss.

The best way of experiencing Tantra is with a dedicated and genuine teacher. In ancient times, Tantra being a secret path, teachers were hard to come by and difficult to find. Here in South Africa there are very few trained practitioners. However, there are opportunities in the form of individual sessions as well as weekend retreats. The National Institute of Tantra South Africa sets ethical standards for the work and will in the next few years compile a list of qualified practitioners as they emerge from training.

If you feel ready to begin right now, here are some exercises to begin your journey:

Exercises

1.) Using the senses to come into the body and the Now
Close or blindfold your eyes and focus the other senses (hearing, taste, smell) intensely for 15 – 30 minutes. Focus entirely on the experience.

2.) Using nature to experience our sense of touch

Find a pleasant place out of doors and close or blindfold your eyes. First use sound to draw you into the body – leaves rustling in the wind, waves thrashing onto the beach, birds etc. Then slowly focus on your open skin (arms, legs, face) and feel the air touching your skin, feel the breeze caressing you. Stay in this meditation as long as you are able.

3.) Tantric Breathing

Purse your lips as if you are going to whistle or drink through a straw. Breathe in and out through pursed lips, sucking the air in and gently blowing the air out. Pause on both the full breath and the empty breath and become aware of the changes in your body. Be aware of the 4 stages of breathing – the inward breath, the full breath, the outward breath and the empty breath state of the body. Do this at least 3 minutes every day. Repeat as often as you like.

4,) Tantric Touch with a partner and alone.

With a partner: choose who will be passive and who will be active and change roles later. Begin with tantric breathing to get into the body and the Now and continue this breathing throughout the exercise. Take at least 30 minutes to slowly touch and stroke your partner’s body. Be fully in your hands, experience his/her body as if you are touching it for the first time. Touch to please yourself, not to please your partner. You will find, this ensures that you in fact do please him/her when you touch in such a way that it is pleasing to yourself.

On your own: touch and stroke your body as if it were a lover’s body or as if you are touching your body for the first time. Discover and explore and touch in a way pleasing to yourself. Allow sensual sensations to arise without judgment.

Feeling good....

2010-02-12T02:37:00.003+02:00

Hi all friends and students of Tantra,

I am feeling good the way things are going now.
The countdown to the first Durga Tantra School this year has begun.

I've just completed a flyer for the "For Yourself" - Sensual Healing Retreat For Women which is taking place in the Northern Drakensberg from 19th - 22nd March.

Theflyer for the Tantric Fire Couple's Rereat will be ready soon, however the info is already on the website. Two dates for this one: Stanford, Western Cape 16th - 18th April and Northern Drakensberg 30th April - 2nd May

The Come Together Singles Retreat date, taking place in May in the Noethern Drakesnberg, will be finalised before the end of this month, when I will also put the information onto the website.

There has been a lot of interest already and I am feeling really excited about these retreats and looking forward to facilitating them with my co-facilitators.

And if any of you saw the interview in the Let's Chat With Mel last night on M-Net Series channel, I hope you'll agree, that it was all in all a really good show. I enjoyed watching it and felt that the guests and their themes built up nicely, one after the other and I particularly enjoyed Sharon from Lola Montez, who gave a lovely rundown of the history of the dildo, which goes back a long, long way. Amazing!

I liked what they had edited together out of the interview with me and felt they got all the main aspects of what I was saying editeted together beautifully.

Oh, and I loved Ian and Kantha. Weren't they wonderful? The TV crew flew down to my house in Pennington for a day to film the interview with them and also snippets of some of the work. Anyone wanting to catch the interest of a partner in the Tantric Fire Couple's Retreats taking place in Stanford, Western Cape the in Northern Drakensberg, this would be an ideal way to watch the show together. They talk about their experiences on one of the Tantric Fire Couple's Retreats last year and about how this transformed their marriage. They are such a lovely couple and am so grateful to them, their willingness to share so openly on public TV. There is also footage shown of snippets of some of the work we do which I think you will enjoy.

If you missed the show, the repeat is this Sunday, 14th Feb at 10am on the M-Net Series channel (channel 110). It may be a good way of sharing your interest in Tantra with your partner. If you are considering booking a Tantric Fire Couple's Retreat, this is a great way to hear something about the work from a couple who have experienced it.

It is with Kantha, that I am facilitating the "For Yourself " Sensual Healing Retreat for Women which is taking place in the Northern Drakensberg from 19 - 22 March.

So in all my excitement about how things are turning out, I think of those not so good times and want to remember the energy of this feeling good and take it with me there. Instead of simply feeling down with the energy sagging out of me, I want to feel excited about what Existence is showing me. I want to feel just as good...when I'm not good! And that is how it was recently for me. In a situation which could have become a crisis for me, (my intended partnership fell through). Although I did not feel good, I did feel excited about what the message was. I knew that that Existence always had "a good reason" for manifesting contrary to my planning, and so after the initial shock, I awaited the clarity that always comes when we allow ourselves to open up to it.

It came. It came through alright - all the good stuff that I wrote about above.
And it feels very good!

I hope to see some of you on one of the retreats!

My warm greetings to you all
Leandra

News - weekend retreats in March and April

2010-02-02T12:10:00.000+02:00

2nd February 2010

Hi everyone, this is a short message to let you all know that I am busy re-organising plans for further Tantra Sacred Massage visits as well as a series of weekend retreats. The first retreat will be a For Yourself Sensual Healing retreat for women from 19th - 22nd March which is a long weekend. It will be three nights and held at a beautiful venue in the Nothern Drakensberg. We will be working with interdisciplinary art therapy methods as well as tantric rituals and exercises. The next will be two Tantric Fire Couple's Retreats in April, one in the Overberg area of the Western Cape and the other also in the Northern Drakensberg. I have wonderful co-facilitators for these retreats. As soon as I have everything sorted out, I will be positing the details on the School of Durga Tantra website as well as here. If you'd like to be put on the mailing list for details of these retreats, please email me.

Warm greetings
Leandra

Changes.....

2010-01-13T14:57:00.002+02:00

Just 10 days ago, I announced the event of my taking a partner into this work. Prior to that, there had been a couple of months of preparation, training, of business planning and discussing the partnership agreement. In my excitement (perhaps over excitement) and my confidence that all was in good order, I put up the information about this. It was too soon. Sara has decided to remain in her accounting profession and not go through with the partnership. Her partner, Barry who was to facilitate retreats with me also decided not to go ahead as he wanted to do this in conjunction with Sara's work with me. So today I sadly write to inform you all of this change of events.

A dear friend wrote this to me this morning: "It's the strange and complex nature of people; it never ceases to delight, to disappoint, to love, to shock". Yes, that is so true. This is a huge disappointment for me, but certainly not one that affects the continuation of my work. I will need time to digest, assess the situation and to re-organise the first half of the year now and in due course I'll post information here.

My website has grown over the years and is in the process of being tidied up and modernised. As soon as the new one is ready, it will go online with a calendar of events, a contact form amongst other small changes that will generally improve the website as well as resolve the difficulties I was sometimes having updating it.

I will be in Johannesburg from next week until the end of January and then in Cape Town from the second week of February. I look forward to seeing some of you for massage sessions when I am in your area.
Warm greetings
Leandra

Starting off in 2010 - News

2010-01-03T23:06:00.002+02:00

I wish you all a wonderful 2010. May your year be filled with joy and laughter, love and light.
I enjoyed a quiet time at home, relaxing a bit, working a bit, lots of meetings and giving a couple of massages as well.

So let me get to the point and tell you what the meetings were about! I am very excited to announce that I am going into partnership with a wonderful woman from 1st February. I met Sara earlier this year on one of my Tantric Fire Couple's Retreats and we remained in contact. It took a while for the idea to work together to emerge and grow, but it most certainly did. Sara is giving up her work as an accountant to take up massaging full time with me. She will be moving around the country as I do, working in Johannesburg, Cape Town and from my home on the Durban South Coast. We spent the time between Christmas and New Year planning and organising and are almost ready to go! Some of you will already know her. She began training with me and we gave 4-handed massages as part of her training both on the Durban South Coast and in Johannesburg. She is made for this work and I look forward to introducing her to you all. Once her training is complete, we intend to keep the 4-handed massages as part of what we offer. They are proving to be very popular and I find that the massage to be quite different to the single massage session and therefore a valuable addition to my work.

In addition to finding Sara, I also have found Barry, a facilitator based in Durban who will assist me facilitate the the Durga Tantra School weekend retreats, making it a lot easier for me to set dates. Nils (the facilitator from Germany that I worked with in 2009), will be back later this year, and with him I will facilitate advanced retreats.
I already have started updating the School of Durga Tantra website, with info about retreats to take place this year. It is not complete yet and if you check in about a week's time, I will have dates up for a number of weekend retreats taking place during the first half of the year.

My journal entry is very short....I just had to share this exciting news with you. I am thrilled and it is a dream come true for me. I longed to be able to share the work and finally it is materialising.
So to all of you, have a great start to the year. I look forward to our continuing work together during this year.

Oh and do keep a check on the website for more news of updates and also dates for your area.

Warm greetings
Leandra

15th November 2009 - early resume of this year

2009-11-25T19:21:00.002+02:00

15th November 2009 - early resume of this year

It is a bit early to start a resume of the year, but with Flora's return to Germany the year does feel like it is coming to a close. Starting early in the year, I have had four professional tantric practitioners from Europe visiting and working with me. Each one traveled to all my venues, saw students either individually or in 4-handed sessions with me. I know that the students who benefited from this were enthralled, emotionally and/or spiritually touched, weredeeply moved, while I found myself to be on a deep journey of self-exploration, stretching, sharing and learning. When Flora and I said good bye, it was like coming out of months of an intensive "magical mystery tour" to an even deeper understanding of what Tantra is and how it transforms and uplifts one to higher levels of clarity and knowing, to higher levels of awareness. The gratefulness I feel towards Nidhana, Lisa, Nils and Flora for their trust in my plans, for their sharing with me, for they way they each embraced the people they worked with, for their giving from the heart. There is no other way I could have experienced this all - and all this in one year!

Some time ago I wrote something about the best teaching being when the teacher is also a learner, and the best learning is when the learner is also a teacher. It was giving and taking, teaching and learning, personal and professional sharing all the way.

What comes out of this for my practice here in South Africa? More clarity about where I want to go, about what I want to do and about how to do it, and even more clarity about what Tantra is and what it is not. And inspiration to continue this path professionally as well as in my life.

It has been an extraordinary year for me. I worked with more women than before during this last year, with more couples and at some stage I think I should add up just how many people I and my guests have had the privelege of touching in one way or another.

There will be some good positive changes in 2010. In fact - these have started already! As it always is with things that are right, these changes came easily, just flowing into my life. What a difference to my experiences towards the end of 2008! Obviously and thank goodness, I learnt the lessons from all the difficulties I encountered last year!

So here is the news.......

CAPE TOWN
The lovely little house I was renting in Harfield Village, Claremont is now mine! When I was looking for a new place to work from on the last day of my Cape Town visit in October 2008, and for the first time ever, I went onto the Gumtree website to see what was on offer, this little house came up. One phone call, a viewing before my flight the next day and it was settled - this is where I wanted to work from. BUT, the landlord could only offer me a one-year lease because the house had been on the market and not been sold and he would be putting it on the market again at the end of the lease. I thought - oh no! I want something permanent in Cape Town. I have moved around so much already and this could not go on. So, without money readily available and no idea at the time just how I would do it, I asked him to give me an option to buy in the lease, and I set about materialising my plan. I did not realise at the time, just how much this plan would change the way I saw my life!

Eight months later I had the cash, paid for the house and the transfer went through 2 months before my lease expired. My joy is huge - a definitely permanent home for my work in Cape Town, wow! The big change for me however was something else.

I still had one foot in Germany. Many personal possessions were still in the house in Hamburg that I jointly owned with my husband bringing up our daughter. Somewhere deep inside me, there had been this fear of letting go of the idea that I may return to my "old" life of being a wife and mother (granted to a now grown up daughter) and all the family attachments I had over there. When I began speaking to my husband and daughter about releasing my part ownership of our house in which we had lived in for so long, I had no idea of the fears I would encounter when they agreed. It was a series of deep "downs" and very high "up's" until finally all was signed and my money came through. It was a deep letting go of a very important past and while it was hard, the release I now feel is equally great. All I have to do now is go back to my old home, collect the personal possessions I still want - I will do this during 2010 - and this past is truly past. Amazing, is it not...? For me it is.

So with some heart break, with many discussions and a lot of pondering if this was in fact the right thing to do, this little house in Harfield Village - all who have been there have endorsed how lovely it is - is now my Cape Town home. And the home of future fellow practioners either visiting or growing out of the work in South Africa. More about that later.

JOHANNESBURG
I have been extremely happy in my flat in Auckland Park in Johannesburg. One thing I always wanted was a balcony, a patio or a small garden. At times I thought of finding a garden cottage and once did take a look at a place I found on Gumtree. But with no time to intensively look for a new venue, it simply remained a message in my heart sent out to Existence. Then one day, friends mentioned that the garden cottage of family member would become free as she was relocating to Cape Town. I had a look at it in October and am moving there at the end of November. Suddenly I had let go of a space that I had worked from for over 3 years. One more trip to do some work in the old flat and pack up at the end of this month and move into the new venue and from about 8th December I will be working from my new space in Linden/Greenside.

It is a lovely garden cottage, the lounge looking onto a blanket of green, a little patio, a pool that I can use and a space to work from that will have many advantages over the "old" flat. One thing that really pleases me is that the working room will be able to take the futon and the massage table, leaving the lounge free to be my living space. The bathroom is larger, light and quite lovely and what is more, although it is en-suite, it is also accessible from the lounge - making having visitors in Johannesburg much easier. The cottage is private, has secure parking. and will probably be quite cold in winter, being on the ground floor as opposed to being on the first floor. However the cold can be over come....and I have surplus furniture at my home in KZN that will fit in there perfectly. It is also a more residential area where I can go for walks and generally I think this cottage will become a real home from home for when I am in Johannesburg.

MASSAGE SESSIONS
After the many 4-handed massages given during with the visiting practitioners, this is going to become a general feature of the work in 2010. I had a vision about how this massage should develop and it has. We all found that it went even deeper and in a different way to the individual massage on the massage table and the futon and felt that it had to be in-corporated as a permanent offer on the massage menu. I will be writing about this and posting info about it on the DATES, RATES & BOOKING INFO page just as soon as I can. Of course, I need practitioners to assist me with this - although the Goddess Durga (the Hindu Goddess who rides a lion and whose stories inspire me) has many arms, I only have two! So I need practitioners and without revealing too much now, this will emerge early in 2010 when I will write more!

Another addition will be that I will be adding 2-hour full body sessions. I have found that many students do not have the time for the 3-hour sessions and while the shorter follow-up lingam massage is an option, not many students have made use of this. So in addition to the 3-hour sessions, there will be 2-hour full body sessions available from early 2010.
RETREATS
The weekend retreats which I facilitated together with Nils will be a main focus for me next year. They were so successful, so enjoyable that there has to be more taking place in 2010 - and there will be.

VISITING PRACTITIONERS
They will be back. I am not sure who and when exactly yet, but there are plans on all sides to realise this during the next year. I'll post information as soon as plans are clear.

All in all, I am happy with all these developments. More than happy. Very happy. Over joyed. And excited. I look forward to 2010. I really look forward to what the next year is going to bring.

Sending you, my students, all my love. And a huge thank you, once again, for your trust, your faith in my work, for your support and the inspiration you all are to me and my life. Without you all, this all could not be. With you all, it is my reality, my life and what a life it is!

Namaste
Leandra

16th June 2009 - Lisa's Visit

2009-06-16T09:59:00.001+02:00

16th June 2009 - Lisa's visit

I don't really have much time to write right now, but as many of you have been asking, I do want to just let you all know how things are going with Lisa's visit. What did I write at the end of Nidhana's visit..? "Well, it did work out. And how it worked out!" ...this is what I could write now too! Everything is going very well indeed. I am enjoying having a trained and widely experienced tantric massage therapist with me. Our sharing and verbal exchange seems to be never ending - always another question, a thoughtful comment or a new discussion opening.

It is also very relaxing to be able to share with someone who stems from the same tantric background as I do. There are vast differences in the kind of tantric massage being offered around the globe. I regularly get reports from people who have gained experience in a variety of countries including Australia, the U.K. and the U.S.A.....so I know what I am talking about. The German tradition is one of the earliest in the west - the first training school goes back to the late seventies in Berlin when the first Osho Sannyassins began returning from his Ashram in Puna, India. Lisa studied with this school and Andro, her teacher is one of the most radical one can think of. Her training was intense and deep.....just the first year consisted of four 10-day retreats in the school in Berlin, no watches, no phones, no contact to the outside. The living space was not the easiest with everyone sleeping on mattresses in one big room and the work was intense. And that was only the beginning!
The first tantric massage practice, Ananda, was opened in the eighties in Cologne by Martina Weiser, and needless to say, the first quality control organisation was formed in Germany by none other than Andro and Martina - and so it becomes clear that Tantra in Germany goes back quite a while. Every major town boasts a Tantra school and a number of tantric massage practices. I read recently that around 500,000 people practice Tantra in Germany. It is also interesting to realise that the oldest western tantrikers are now well into their sixties! I somehow find it comforting to know that my work is part of such a growing and vibrant movement.
With the roots of my own tantric training also in Germany, Lisa and I have much to talk about. As with Nidhana, it is once again, all about learning from each other, about an exchange of experience, about sharing and this on both professional as well as personal levels.....I think you can understand that I am lapping it all up. Lisa's massages are stunning and our 4-handed massages....well what can I say...we really love working together! With still 5 days to go in Cape Town before Lisa returns to Berlin, we both wish she could stay longer! She will return however. Already we are talking about her staying longer, making the trip really worth while, and during such a visit, we would share the work.

In the mean time, I am looking forward to a few weeks at home on the KZN South coast during July. I need to catch up on all sorts of things at my home before Nils Kreidner (from Dresden, Germany) arrives in August. That is however not the end of the European tantric trainers and massage therapists coming to visit Tantra Sacred Massage! In October Flora is coming for three weeks. She is from the Bodywork school I trained with in Wuppertal. She has the same tantric massage trainer as I do - so we will have lots to catch up on during her stay. Flora is originally from Poland but has been living in Germany for a long time....but more about her on the website later.
For now, Lisa and I look forward to seeing some advanced students as well as a couple of new students in Cape Town from later this week.

My warmest greetings to you all...
Leandra

26th May 2009 - Nidhana's visit

2009-05-26T10:01:00.000+02:00

26th May 2009 - Nidhana's visit

Nidhana flew back to London tonight. For the first time in 3 weeks, I am alone. We lived and worked together every day since her arrival in Cape Town three weeks ago, spending a week in Cape Town, a week at my home on the Durban South Coast and finally a week in my flat in Johannesburg. We grew so close that parting was hard. She cooked me porridge in the mornings and I will miss that when I wake up tomorrow. Funny how little things like that become so important in the shadow of saying goodbye.
We shared much - on a personal level as well as professionally. We saw in each other the opportunity to be mirrored by the other, not always easy yet we knew we would both grow...and we did. The students that saw her were touched in one way or another, touched by her expansive love, by her gentle tantric touch and her powerful energy healing capabilities. Some were taken on very deep paths, sometimes painful, yet they too will grow from opening up to these places within themselves.
Together we mastered the 4-handed tantric massage and gave it our own specific slant. The core of our work was always unconditional Love. It may sound strange to someone who has not experienced this work, but it is exactly that. Without this love of the other, the depth of our work would not be possible. What does that mean - love? It means total acceptance of the other, absolute non-judgementalism, and loving the core of who the other is. Not the potential - the core. This implies that it is there, all already within the individual and sometimes just needs a gentle nudge to expand. It is this that made our work so enjoyable. Being able to give of ourselves in this way.
For me it was a new experience to share so intimately and deeply with another professional practitioner. On parting we both knew we would need time to get used to being on our own again and we also knew we would see each other again. We spoke about me working with her in London and also about her coming back to South Africa for longer and in the summer months.

A huge thank you to all the students, new and old, who saw us during the last weeks. Thank you for your trust in this new venture, thank you for being who you are and for braving the world by coming to experience Tantra first hand. It is exactly the way to learn about Tantra, it is the only way to experience Tantra - to do so first hand with someone who also experienced Tantra first hand with a teacher or teachers.

I don't have too much time to relax because Lisa is arriving from Berlin on the 4th June. I look forward to this next encounter with another professional - this time from the country of my own tantric roots. I know that some of you will be eager to meet and work with her or if you did not experience the 4-handed massage with myself and Nidhana, you may want to go for it now during Lisa's visit. I look forward to seeing you and to introducing you to Lisa. I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to be able to share these visiting professionals with you all. It gives me great pleasure to do so.
As this short entry into my journal is coming to a close, I have a deep wish to thank someone very special who assisted in getting things right in my house in Cape Town. He spent time preparing things and did loads of cleaning up and washing after we left. He then came to my home on the KZN south coast to spend a last weekend with the two of us at a time when we were both acting out and behaving quite untantrically! Thank goodness you did not let us disturb your peace! Your presence and your patience - you know who you are - was so important to both of us. Thank you for being there and for being who you are!
There are others to thank, many friends and students who wished me well, who were in the background, nervous after my experiences last year wondering "will it work out this time?" and hoping that I would not be disappointed again. You all meant so much to me - the sms's, phone calls and emails asking how things were going - thank you for being there. I felt your support and it felt good, really good.
Well, it did work out. And how it worked out!
My love to you all.
Leandra

19th February 2009 - wonderful happenings

2009-02-19T19:13:00.000+02:00

19th February 2009 - wonderful happenings

It’s crazy, it is wonderful, almost magic and then again it is pretty normal the way things sometimes happen. “Sometimes”….what is that? Well not sometimes really, it always happens like that…that is when you are alert, when you take the lessons that this life offers you, when you listen to Existence showing you the way. If you read my New Year posting in my journal, you will know that I had a very hard lesson to learn last year and coming into the New Year, all began coming into place as I finally, at last, took the lesson and understood why things had been so difficult for me to find suitable people to join me in this work.

Why is it crazy, wonderful, almost magic and then again pretty normal the way things happen…?

Well, I had just posted my New Year journal entry with the results of last year’s learning when emails started arriving asking “Please can you inform us about the dates and details for the Tantric Fire Couple’s Retreat...” Not one email, a whole series of emails….from different people. And they started exactly on 3rd January.

Now, understand that I had not updated my Durga Tantra School website where the retreats are announced. I had not been on that site for months. I had totally neglected planning the retreats that were originally supposed to start in March 2008 and then I postponed the start for a year. That year had come and I had not given the retreats a thought. I was just getting over dealing with last year’s experiences. So, this was a reminder and as a result of what I had learnt, I set to work immediately. I had no idea how I would put this together, but I never the less posted on the website that the retreats would be starting in April/May this year.

Without going into the whole story of how the events arose and evolved, I’d like to just give you the result of that listening, of my following and not doubting the process.

On 14th February I announced the retreat schedule on my websites. I had two highly qualified tantra coaches from overseas, three divine retreat centers around South Africa, the dates all booked and deposits paid, flight tickets bought or in the process of being bought and what is more I also had a lovely assistant facilitator from Durban to assist me in facilitating further retreats.

All this from nothing on 3rd January to everything satisfactorily planned by 14th February. What I had not managed to do the whole year, came about now in just 1 ½ months and much more than that. These facilitators will also be massaging (they are already qualified so I don’t have to teach them first – what a blessing) alone and with me offering 4 handed massages in between the weekend retreats. Granted, there will not be much time for massaging in between the three weekends that both of them will be facilitating with me, but we will be able to take a few people. As for the retreats, I am thrilled that we have a really good line up of work to do.
I have had friends saying "how do you do it...you're always so busy, where do you find the time to negotiate all this...?" and "It is amazing how you make things happen...!" All I can say is that it is not me. Or rather, it is just me carring out orders from above. That may sound strange, but if you read my last journal entry I think it becomes understandable what was different this time.
The first series of retreats taking place in May are the “For Yourself – Sexual Healing Retreats for Women” that I will be facilitating with Nidhana Mai from London. Some of you know her. She is a qualified Tantra coach who did some massaging for me in Cape Town over a year ago. With the work I am doing, I feel these healing retreats for women are much needed here in South Africa and it is our hope that many women will join us in a delightful journey to finding our very own sexual energy. Nidhana has an extensive background in tantra and energy healing and what is more, she is deeply influenced by The Divine Mother Amma, a present day female guru in India who teaches how to open your heart and love and she does this by loving. In fact her name, Nidhana, was given to her by Amma and means "formlessness, deathlessness" - beautiful!
Then in August, Nils Kriedner from Dresden, Germany, a Tantra school director with an extensive martial arts, Zen Meditation, and Yoga background having studied these things in India with great masters as well as a whole lot of other trainings and life experiences before finally coming to Tantra. With him I will be facilitating the Tantric Fire Couple’s Retreats. I think he is going to be a real treat for South Africans. The retreats are open to single men and women as well as couples, they will just need to bring an opposite gender partner or friend with them or we will have to see that we have equall numbers of men and women amongst the single people.

Both these facilitators have been to India to learn right at the source of the teachings and it is such a joy that I am able to announce them to you.

Then there is Yashordan, a gifted Hindu and very gentle man from Durban who is a true fundus of all the ancient stories and eastern mythology, which he brings to life with such ease. He has a wonderful understanding of Tantra and how it relates today to the ancient original path and he will be assisting me from South Africa with the facilitating of some workshops and retreats.
All this development happened so easily, so simply, so beautifully that I feel blessed with such abundance. Sure, there was a lot of work involved. Telephone calls, Skype’ing, emailing back and forth but it all came to life and fell into place with such ease that there has to be another ONE organizing this. It cannot be me!

So I invite you all to take a look and read about these people as well as the retreats. And when you are doing this, please don’t forget to click on the links for the three venues, one on the KZN south coast, one in the Northern Drakensberg at the top of Olifiershoek Pass and the third one in McGregor, 2 hours outside Cape Town. They are all quite something, each one unique and chosen because of their individual and very special atmosphere.

I hope to see many of you at these retreats! I know many of you have been patiently waiting for me to get it off the ground….well I have and I look forward to this work very, very much.

That is my joyous news for now. I’m off to bed now as I had a full day today and have another one tomorrow and during the following days here in Cape Town where I am presently working with men and women as well as some couples.
To all of you out there…have a wonderful day. Feel blessed no matter what is going on in your life. There is always something to be grateful for. Take the lessons you are being presented with and move on with gratitude in your hearts, you will be surprised just how many blessings come your way with such an attitude.

Namastè
Leandra

Old Year's Eve - looking back on 2008

2008-12-31T19:03:00.007+02:00

"Change" - Mixed Media
Painting by Leandra

It is that time of the year again. The end of the year is a time of retrospect in one way or the other for most of us. Some of us do this consciously, taking account of what the year was like while floating ideas about how we’d like the incoming year to be, others do it subconsciously, becoming aware only of the one or other feeling or emotion, as one year closes and the other opens. Yet others, not wanting to look back at all let alone feel, revel in the festivities keeping themselves busier than ever before.

I cannot help but look back consciously. It happens almost automatically as thoughts and emotions arise, hallowing in a process that lasts for many weeks, only coming to the end with some kind of revelation, indicating that the process is complete. This year, it is evident to me, that it has been a tumultuous year - a time of great progress, but it’s also been something like a bumper-to-bumper, stop-and-go freeway! Some of you have shared parts of this with me, others will have noticed certain announcements on my website suddenly no longer there. All along I have wanted to share more with you all, my own confusion however, prevented me verbalizing anything of clarity about what was going on. Now finally, on the last day of the year, the revelation is there and I am ready to share.

My vision at the outset of the year was, that of men and women on a tantric path working with me, of Tantra Sacred Massage sessions being more continuously and readily available in the three centres I work in; a vision of my aloneness in the field comforted by associates and colleagues, a vision of sharing what I had gained with a group of emerging tantric professionals, joining hands in promoting Tantra in South Africa. It really was a very nice vision.

Throughout the year I had been putting in much time and effort to find men and particularly women and to join me, and all year all these efforts had evolved into major and minor disasters, leaving me feeling confused, sometimes frustrated, many times disappointed and a lot of the time exasperated. It also left me questioning why this was so. There seemed to be no difference between my recruiting potential trainees from South Africa or those from abroad - whatever I did, it did not want to work. I had numerous applications, many interviews, and even some training beginnings. In one case, the training went far enough for the trainee to facilitate a first massage session on her own. It was all so promising - had not each and every potential trainee, not committed for one reason or the other.

Some found more lucrative work, others were only superficially willing to immerse themselves in the training. Some were willing to do everything except lingam or yoni massages, others found the thought of working with other races appalling. Some even did not like the idea of being naked – which did not cease to surprise me as the nature of the massage was totally clear. I would say to these, “Okay, but with the amount of oil we use, you will actually ruin your clothes apart from it being very uncomfortable”! The reasons were endless. One foreign practitioner, with whom I had previously co-operated, contradicting the very essence of Tantra, wrote that it no longer “felt right” to be working with men, and that she was now doing “Goddess – work” only.

With others from abroad, hard reality was to be discovered in hidden agendas, contradicting the written and accepted training plan, and completely unrelated to what I was offering, to what was available or required for that matter. I found myself being discarded as soon as my worth in the materializing of their agendas had outlived itself.

The most baffling aspect to me, was the way in which this all happened: books I had lent were not returned, my phone calls not taken and emails left unanswered. All this left me feeling quite shaken at the amount of respectlessness thrown at me - and so I began to doubt what I was attempting to do. Not one of the potential trainees had funding to pay for the training, which resulted in me offering the training free of charge, with the exception of a small registration fee. This was a mistake, living in a society in which that which is financially free is not valued. With one exception, not even the registration fee was paid! The little free time I had, taken up with training, was left unrewarded.

Looking back over a year like this, I had to ask myself “What am I doing wrong?”, while also wondering if it had something to do with the nature of the work. When the results of so much time and effort show that amount of failure time and time again, it is, I suppose, quite natural to feel like a failure one’s self. And yes, it did feel like this many times. It took a while for me to realise that the surface respectlessness I had experienced was probably anger, and so coming out of the confusion of all this, I had two major questions: “What does the nature of the work have to do with this?” and “What am I doing wrong?”

In answer to the first question, I realised that the major factor leading to South Africans pulling out of the training was fear. The path of Tantra is still connected to many fears hear in South Africa. Sexuality is still such a taboo and sexuality that is entrenched with spirituality is, for many, unheard of, making it such a huge step, sometimes too big a step, for anyone to take to come into this work. Fear so often precedes anger and this was projected onto me - so I assumed.

The answer to the second question took me almost the full year. I finally realised my mistake and was able to take responsibility for the situation I found myself in. I had been trying far too hard to make my vision come true. It felt like a great vision and I assumed it was exactly what was needed for the on-going work. Tantra in South Africa needed more facilitators in order to continue growing and so I pursued this vision without looking left or right, not allowing any failure to pull me down. “So what if I was not being successful, the vision is good so just keep going, at some stage it must all materialise” – so I thought.

There are times when holding onto a vision is the best one can to do, believing in it and putting everything in place in order to make it true. There are other times however, when this is the most unproductive thing to do, and it is important let go. It took me most of the year to understand that I needed to let go.

Re-assessing my vision began around October this year. My plans to share a rented house in a lovely area of Cape Town with two students, a married couple who were returning from abroad, turned sour, resulting in financial loss and a legal battle that no one thought I could possibly win. It was then, that the thought occurred to me, “I must be doing something very wrong if Existence has to come onto me so heavily to make me take notice! What is it that I have not been seeing, not been wanting to see?”

It was finally during the legal battle that I had an explosion of clarity. I had signed a 3-year lease with a parent of one of the students while they were still abroad, and I was legally committed to this document. Without everyone involved agreeing, there was no way I could get out of this lease. However all the parties involved had no interest in letting me out of the lease, I had been good prey, having invested my time, energy and money finding the house and finalising the lease, and now I had to pay my share of the rent, whether I moved into the house or not. Not only that, they had, so it seemed, disappeared after moving in - the house was empty, even of furniture, and all communication channels broke down for weeks. The parent, my lease partner, also did not take my calls or answer my emails. With the next months total rent pending, I appeared to be in a hopeless position. The lawyer I sought out painted a bleak picture and did not do very much to try to achieve anything.

At my lowest point, when I felt really, really stupid for having gotten myself into this position, when I seemed to have no way out, when I felt my most helpless, used, misused, hurt, angry, exasperated and worried… it was then, when I felt completely powerless, in a quiet moment and very alone, that the answer came: “Thy will, not my will, be done” - these words arose from my deepest self and echoed throughout my whole being, like a village church bell, ringing and ringing. I had been following my will and had not asked what Existence wanted from me.

After that things moved swiftly. Quite suddenly, as if a glowing light had been turned on, I discovered my power, a power I had not felt before. Thy will, not my will be done - I was free! Yes free. Not only of the helplessness I had felt, but also of the self-doubt....and more importantly, free of the vision which I had been holding on to.

As I changed inwardly and emotionally, so the tables turned completely. It really was such a simple thing that tipped the scales. All I then had then to do was to stay in this clarity. As I did, the card in my hand that I could still play became clear, and while the risk was high and everyone advised against it, I knew that this was the only card I had, and that I had to play it well. It was exhilarating. All the frustration I had experienced now appeared to have been worthwhile, in order for me to have this revelation. I began to feel gratitude for the whole experience.

No longer distressed, no longer hurt or angry, no longer afraid, I could forgive everyone for what they had done and were doing. It was not their fault. It was horrible, it was unfair, it was deceiving - but that was actually not my business but their business! My business was only in taking responsibility for all my decisions that had gotten me into the mess in the first place. Recognising this, and the fact that I had been acting out of a personal neediness brought the necessary freedom. I needed company. I needed assistance. I needed to share. I needed people to join me in my work. It was my need motivating me into manoeuvring myself into this corner. Decisions based on neediness result in blind spots. I had not been aware of how compromising my values had resulted in the difficulties I now had.

No longer a victim, I was able to follow through with the one small thing on my side…and I did. I gave the other lease party back the onus of transferring the monthly rent and announced to everyone that I would no longer be paying my portion of the rent! So simple. It took everyone 5 days to take me seriously and then, amazingly, the communication channels were suddenly wonderfully open again. The agent said, “The owner will take you to court”. I said, “I don’t mind, he will have to take the other party to court as well”. She also said, "you will lose the house”, I said “I don't want the house!”. It was wonderful to feel this power. And I was able to get out of the lease to all the conditions I had previously unsuccessfully offered. I was no longer a victim. I never had been a victim. I was my own do-er and I could be my own do-er again and so I was!

It was over. I was so much richer. What I finally had to pay in hard cash in order to have this realisation was worth every cent. Looking back, I would not change a thing. It was an invaluable lesson for me. Furthermore, I inwardly could say to all those involved in teaching me this life lesson, "I thank you. You did it well!"

I am aware that, for many a businessman out there this is part of daily professional life. For me it was new and it felt great. I took responsibility and played my card…and I played it well.

Never the less, I still had one test to go: there was one more arrangement with another couple from abroad that was already in full swing. With the clarity I now had, I knew that I would no longer compromise myself, I was going to take note of the still small voice inside warning me of previously ignored tell-tale signs - this time I would act decisively and sooner.

I had already gone to great lengths for this couple and I was excited and hopeful. I was also more conscious of what was needed for things to not only feel good, but to really be good. It did not take long for certain discrepancies and a couple of blatant lies to become clear. I became aware that their intentions were actually quite opposed to what we had agreed upon. This time I simply let go. I let go of the vision, I let go of my plans, I let go of the disappointment that my efforts had once again been misused. I let go of the hurt. I let go of my victim story. I let it all go....and I let them go! It felt good to be able to do this so easily and to simply move on.

Moving on has meant to me, to re-evaluate my intentions, to take a deeper look at the meaning of this apparent failure to find suitable people to join me in this work, and to take full responsibility for all that had happened. I was no longer the victim of other peoples' inadequacy to commit honestly. I was the "do-er", the creator of my own circumstances. After months of persevering hopelessly, I could see the answer so simply: actually, Existence was not going to fulfil my vision, and was obviously not wanting what I was wanting. Acting out of an emotional and practical neediness, it was my need for colleges and support that promoted the desire for others to join me in my work. I realise now that no matter how much demand there was, no matter how much I wanted to fulfil the needs of my students all over the country, no matter how much compassion I had for the sexual and intimacy related heart-break abounding in South Africa, …it simply had to be “Thy will not my will be done” in all that I envisaged and did. I have to step back and wait for things to happen in a way that was acceptable and flowing. And...I had to wait patiently.

I am now ready to move into 2009 with this clarity. I am on my own and it is okay to be alone in this. I know of the necessity for more good professional tantric work, I also know that this need will be fulfilled when it is ready to be fulfilled. Until then, I will continue passing on what I know to my students so that my gnosis can also become theirs. The rest is not up to me.

It has been a deeply meaningful past year.

I wish to thank you all from the depths of my heart for your trust, your support, your willingness, and your love. It is the personal journey of each and every one of you that constantly encourage me forwards. To those who have been listeners as well as advisors during this difficult time, I want you to know that I cherish you for being there when I needed you and for the insight into your thinking, your assessment and your understanding of the situation, that you so freely allowed me. I thank you!

As I send you all my love, I also take yours with me into 2009. May it be a wonderful, successful, and most fulfilling year for us all.

Namaste
Leandra

20th November 2008 - Osho on love

2008-11-20T18:56:00.000+02:00

20th November 2008 - Osho on love

I have spent much time lately thinking about the relevance of sex to meditation. It is what I teach but some students challenge me on this in one way or another. It makes me think. Am I doing the right thing? How can I assist students on attaining more meaning in their lives and seeing beyond little human pleasures? How do I teach someone who cannot seem to bring spirituality and sexuality together. I came across some words of OSHO that I want to share with you. The first is simply about the body - after all that is where sexuality takes place. Accepting the body as a part of the Divine is not an easy task for many of us. But OSHO states that it is through the body that we become closer to God.

"Only by loving your body will you become closer to God. The body knows how to dance, how to sing, how to pulsate with God. When the body starts to vibrate with the divine Suddenly you will see your soul is also vibrating. Your body and your soul are one."
Osho

And then there is the subject of Love. This too is such a central part of my teaching. To me God IS ultimate Love and in one form or another, love is so often spoken about in all religions and many teachings. But what is actually meant and how to love, that is the question. Osho gives some insight:

"Love is the fragrance, the radiance of knowing oneself, of being oneself...
Love is overflowing joy.
Love is when you have seen who you are; and then there is nothing left except to share your being with others.
Love is when you have seen that you are not separate from existence.
Love is when you have felt an organic orgasmic unity with all that is.
Love is not a relationship.
Love is a state of being.
It has nothing to do with anybody else. One is not in love, one is love.
And of course when one is love, one is in love - but that is an outcome, a by-product, that is not the source. The source is that one is love....."
Osho: The Guest Chapter 6

So then how does this relate to Tantra and my particular teaching of Tantra? Once again I wish to answer with a quote from Osho:

"Tantra is a love effort towards existence. That is why so much of sex has been used by Tantra: because it is a love technique.It is not only love between man and woman; it is love between you and existence, and for the first time existence becomes meaningful to you through a woman. If you are a woman, then existence becomes for the first time meaningful to you through a man."
OSHO: The Book of Secrets Chapter 43

So for now, these words are here for you to ponder on. My Tantra massage teacher in Germany Klaus Smeds said: "Tantra is lived love" and that is certainly what I have experienced. My coming onto and into the path of Tantra has and is continually teaching me to live this love in a way I have never before appreciated, embracing every aspect of my being and all aspects of my human experience....and allowing me to simply be who I am.

I am so blessed. If I am able to pass this onto my students just a little bit, I have achieved something of relavance in my life.

Namaste
Leandra

1st October 2008 - learning lessons

2008-10-01T18:33:00.002+02:00

1st October 2008 - learning lessons

I read something this morning that I want to share with you all. It is a quote by OSHO and I read it on the OSHO International Newsletter (from the website www.osho.com) and I had to read it twice to actually grasp the meaning on a deep level. Here it is:

"When you are different the whole world is different. It is not a question of creating a different world, it is a question of creating a different you"

I was wondering about how that works and looking back over the last 6 weeks and the chaos I have been experiencing and had to ask myself: "What did I change that made the chaos start turning into beautiful order?" and "How am I different that my world has become different?"

All I did was try to take the lesson Existence had been teaching me these last weeks. It is very easy to blame others or the actual situation for the circumstances and a lot harder to ask one's self: "What did I do to create this experience?" It feels like having to take the blame for something you did not intend. It is however not a question of blame when you ask; "What did i do to create this?" It is far more a question of responsibility. Of taking responsibility for all your actions, even the ones done subconciously, acting out of conditioned fear. The fear to be real is great for each and every one of us. It is a strong fear....what if I am really REAL, what if all the games come to a standstill and I am able to perceive my real Spirit self, what would happen...? Well I don't know what will happen but it is scary to most people to even think of this. We are so protected from this by the outer layers of a life lived. We all have stories to tell of how life played it's tricks on us and made things really difficult. And I am no exception.

This year has been a whirlwind of growth to the Tantra Sacred Massage practice. I had this vision of growing a small community of tantrikers here in SA and in order to do that and to cope with the huge demand for sessions, I decided to start a training program.

Namaste
Leandra

15th September 2008 - stopping over

2008-09-15T19:10:00.000+02:00

15th September 2008 - stopping over

I’m on my way from Jo’burg to my home on the KZN south coast once again and made a stop-over at the top of the Drakensberg. Lovely place this – the Caterpillar and Catfish B & B and restaurant – a bit of a secret tucked away at the top of Olifiershoek Pass. I was so impressed with the meal I had here quite some time ago that I have been coming back again and again on my own and with guests from Germany including my daughter and her boyfriend they were here last. Situated right on the pass road just before you descend, they have a brilliant 5-star cook. Not once have I been disappointed.

Why am I writing this to you…?

Well, talking to a number of students this past week in JHB, I mentioned that I could actually teach most of what I teach with food instead of sexual energy! Tantra uses all the senses to bring you into the moment and away from the mind. I tell my students, next meal take your time and eat in silence, savoring every portion of food you place in your mouth. Don’t mix the different items on your plate, take them separately, and enjoy every moment of tasting each portion. What a difference that makes to your eating experience and what a difference to your level of satisfaction and contentment after such a meal. Of course we use our meals as communicative spaces in time, when families get together and we talk about our day. There is nothing against that. It is very important. But as an exercise try it and see what it does for you.

Of course a really wonderful, tasty meal helps too although the meekest piece of food will taste abundantly better is eaten in silence with closed eyes allowing it to melt on the tongue. So why am I telling you about my stop over? Well I don’t mind doing a bit of advertising for the Caterpillar and Catfish if it encourages you to take Olifiershoek Pass next time on your way to the coast from Gauteng. If you do, do stop here for lunch or an overnight stay in order to experience one of their outstanding meals. I savored my trout and rice this evening after lazing in a huge bath feeling the sensation of hot water on my skin. Beforehand, I had stood outside in awe of the round full moon shining through rocking branches of the huge ancient trees on the crest of the Northern Berg. I felt the cool night breeze caressing my skin and as I did so, I sank into a moment of absolute bliss. It all tasted so wonderful! The more we use our senses to come into the depth of now, the closer we get to submerging into bliss.

If you feel uncomfortable doing this with your sexual sense, how about trying it with what you eat?

It did me good. I enjoyed connecting with who I really am through my sense of taste, smell, and sight. I smelt the freshness of the Drakensberg air as it brushed past my nostrils; I heard the leaves of those majestic trees rustling to the tender touch of wind, the odd cricket chirping and it felt as if I could hear the night itself. It was then that I had that moment of hearing me.

We need times like this. Times to stop, rest and simply be.
Namaste
Leandra

17th July 2008 - catching up

2008-07-17T18:52:00.000+02:00

17th July 2008 - catching up

I received an email from Australia this morning - it was my mentor Ron Solo saying " You must be busy as I noticed that you have not done a lot of work on your web site." and asking when I was going to post the second article he had written for my website....!

Well yes, I have been very, very busy - mainly with the work between my three bases, JHB, CT and my home on the KZN south coast - but then in between actually still settling into my new house. Although I moved in at the end of January, I am only there for 2 weeks at a time between my visits to JHB and CT. I unpacked the last boxes just a week ago, shortly before my present trip to CT. During the two weeks I was home I also started painting the interior of the house - a lovely deep almost olive green and a color called Stone Wall and when I left everything was in turmoil. Ultimately the walls will be soothing, especially with the view onto lush subtropical vegetation with the Indian Ocean on the horizon. But for the time being it is just work with a fair amount of stress! I sincerely hope that my helpers will manage to sort it all out the chaos I left behind before I get back at the end of next week.

But there is something else too! I have spent the last 5 weeks or so, looking for new premises here in CT. Oh yes, I took a flat earlier this year from where I have been working, but at the time I already knew it was a temporary thing. Why? Because two wonderful students of mine are returning from Europe where they have been living the last 2 years and with their three children will be settling in CT.

As they are going to be going into the work, we decided to take a house together: a house where we could work from, that would be their home and a base for me when I am in CT. I have some wonderful trainees here in CT who have assisted this process by viewing the houses and giving me a feed back. When I arrived earlier this week, we had singled out two for me to look at and then the decision fell. We have found our house. Tantra Sacred Massage will have a base for the next 2 – 3 years at least. With that goes the fact that CT will have a permanent female as well as a male massage practitioner as of the end of August/early September. Finally! This is such good news to me. It is going to be so much easier for you to make bookings and keep individual processes more regular.

I’m not going to reveal to much about this new space now…but shortly there will be more news about this on the website.

In the mean time, I will have to write to Ron, "yes, I have been far too busy and have neglected to write in my journal and to post your article on the Tantric Lessons page…ultimately though I have been busy doing the work but in another corner of the room."

So to all of you – and I know there are more of you out there missing my regular journal entries – I have been busy with the same cause, promoting and furthering Tantra in South Africa….and not any kind of Tantra, but a good quality of Tantra. The development has been exciting and it will remain exciting in the months to come. I will however make a point of making time for putting Ron’s article on the website and for keeping you updated with what is going on here in my journal.

Warm greetings
Leandra

25th April 2008 - life in Germany and spiritual lessons

2008-04-25T18:48:00.000+02:00

25th April 2008 - life in Germany and spiritual lessons

I know...many of you are telling me...I've been so quiet here and that is very true. It is taking time for me to settle into a routine again. And really, there is no routine about my life at the moment! I am presently in Cape Town for 3 weeks - the first week is just coming to a close - and have moved into a rented centrally situated flat here from which I will be working for the next 6 months or so at least. It is "klein aber fein" as the Germans would say...meaning small but really nice and suits the purpose for the time being. Ultimately though, I would like to have a house with a garden as a venue and the prospect of that is not too far away.

Students of mine who have been living in Russia are returning to SA later this year and as soon as they have settled we intend to find a house that will be home to them as well as the Tantra Sacred Massage practice. Not only that. but Cape Town will be getting a lovely and genuine tantric massage practitioner more or less permanently. This is what I have been dreaming of - just had to wait till Existence put all into place. Since training with me, they have continued their tantric journey with Euorpean Tantra schools and will bring their experience back with them.

In addition to that, I have started training one female and one male in Tantra Sacred Massage. Both are lovely and worthy people to take up this work. I will keep you posted on their progress and when they are ready to work with clients. I had a couple of other women interested but all the others opted out shortly before training started and I am sure you understand why. There are so many stigmas attached to this work here in SA - well perhaps in other places too, but certainly here - and I assume they or their partners got nervous. That is fine though. It all has to be right for it to happen and Existence does not allow things to happen that should not - at least that is my experience. When we try to force things, they go wrong or become extremely difficult or strenuous and it is best to wait with our desires and dreams till they materialise. Just put the message out and do all in your power to make it real and then wait for the signs about whether it is going to happen or not. I have lived by this for many, many years and it does work!

Many years ago, in fact in the late eighties, both my husband and I had the pleasure and privilege of attending most of the seminars of Art Reade, an Apache/Mexican spiritual teacher and life coach who was, and is very popular in Germany. That was the first time I heard about what is today called “The Law of Attraction”. Those of you who have seen the movie or read the book “The Secret” will know what is meant. Art gave us exercises to do that taught this basic life truth and way back then I had my first experiences of how it functioned.

At the time, it was our deepest desire to buy a house. Our daughter was a toddler and I dearly wanted a garden for her to play in. I also wanted my life easier as we lived in a lovely old flat with huge rooms and high ceilings - one of the few beautiful old buildings left standing in Hamburg after the war - but the building had no lift!

I used a bicycle to get around – as most people do in Germany - and the bicycle had to be kept in the flat because of theft or parts being demolished or stolen and tires punctured if I locked my bike to the railings in the entrance hall - oh yes, some South Africans don’t want to believe it, but there was actually a lot of malicious petty crime in Germany then and now.

You try coping with a tired, hungry toddler dressed in all the winter garb – boots, jackets, caps, woolen scarves and a bike with a child’s seat connected to the handlebars up and down the staircase! Oh, not to mention the bags of groceries as well. I was constantly up and down. First my daughter, then the shopping, then the bike….and the ceilings being extremely high – almost like two floors…it was a lot of staircase to climb to get onto our landing! So I was really keen to have a house with a ground floor and a garden. With our budget and the price of houses in west of Hamburg (one of the more expensive cities in Germany and the west had some of the priciest suberbs), it was a pretty difficult thing to do.

Art gave us a visualisation one day – to visualise our future home and we had to draw a picture of what we saw. I drew this quaint house with a steep roof and underneath an attic. It had a small garden with a thigh-high picket type metal fence in front. I drew all the details and put ourselves in the garden – including a dog (something my husband never wanted but I did). We were to hang the picture up where we could see it each day. We were told to breath it, smell it, taste it, love it each day until it materialised.

I did this for a while until finally some friends who had two young children bought one of these lovely old flats with a garden in a quiet suburb in the west of Hamburg. There was a flat on the first floor, exactly above them that was also for sale – so we grabbed it. The idea of living above our friends - our children would play together and a whole lot of other positive aspects of living in the same building would come into play - was wonderful. So we bought it! Or so we thought. We had an appointment to sign the papers at the lawyer’s office and I was at home putting on my make up when the phone rang. It was the owner. He apologised but told me that the appointment was canceled as his sister had sold the flat behind his back and that the new owners had already just signed! My heart fell into my shoes, tears popped into my eyes - I could not believe it. I phoned my husband who told me he was on the verge of leaving work to drive to the lawyer…he was speechless. We were both devastated that evening. I phoned my mom in Durban and cried my woes and it was she who put things straight. She said simply: “I thought you wanted a house…?”

I was stunned – yes we did. We had wanted a house, our own house with our own garden and I had drawn a picture had I not? I searched for the drawing, pasted it onto the wall again, and started the procedure again. We had been side tracked by our friends taking the flat. We had not really believed that we would find a house in our price bracket. We were unbelievers….that was the problem. So this time, we firmly held onto our dream. We knew we would find something if it was meant to be and at the time was right. We believed. We sent the proper message out into Existence, the message of our little dream house.

I am sure you all know what the end of this story is going to be…? We found out house!

It was in west of Hamburg, a small double storied house with an attic and a cellar and a garden. It was within walking distance to both a lovely country primary school ( you could look out of the class room windows onto fields with cows and horses) and a high school, a couple of minutes to the city train station that would connect us with the whole of Hamburg…and what was more, there were two nature reserves “just around the corner’ …literally. The one became our daily "walking the dog" route (oh yes, we got a lovely German bread Rhodesian Ridgeback) that took us through a little wood where dogs could meet other dogs and socialise. The other nature reserve was a weekend cycling area, through farm land with huge and typical for northern Germany high thatched roofed farmhouses and a number of stables and a huge wooded area that went on for miles and miles. Our daughter, needless to say took to horse riding, so during her high school days, we had regular bicycle rides to the stable where she had her pony and then later her horse. I spent many a freezing winter sitting in the unheated indoor riding grounds watching her ride and fretting every time she fell off during jumping practice. This little house was just in our price bracket and it became our home. We renovated the cellar to include a laundry, an office, a store room and a guest bedroom and later we renovated the attic to become a lovely additional room for guests of which there were many once our daughter started having cousins and friends from Vienna, Austria come to visit. Many a weekend was spent with the attic room filled with mattresses and the young people gadding out enjoying Hamburg’s night life.

The story of how we got our house will never be forgotten. It was proof that we often mess up the actual plan Existence has in stall for us when our faith is not strong enough. It was also proof of what today is known as “The Law of Attraction”. We attract what we visualise. We attract what is in our thoughts, in our minds. We create our experience of the world.

Getting back to Cape Town…..so often I did not believe I would or could have my own space to work in and compromised on the vision I had with many excuses. I could not afford my own space. I could not divide myself between JHB and CT and my home and what is more, the longer it took to get applicants for the training the less I believed I would find anyone who would want to enter this field of work.

Why am I writing all this? I just want to share it with you. Sometimes students are quite intrigued about how I live. I live a very normal and busy life as most people do. My faith is tested many a time and I learn constantly as I hope you do too. I learn to trust Existence with my vision for Tantra here in South Africa. I do not do this work for a living. To me that is important. I don’t want to have to do this in order to keep my roof over my head or have food on the table. I want to do it out of a passion for this path and the fact that the Divine is touching many people through my work. Tantra changed my life so positively and I am happy to be able to offer what I know and what I have experienced myself, what my teachers have taught me over the years…to pass this onto to others here in the country of my birth and the place that I call home. I feel extremely blessed that I am able to do so and that Existence has deemed me worthy to do what I do.

My love to you all
Namastè
Leandra

5th March 2008 - turning people away

2008-03-05T18:40:00.001+02:00

5th March 2008 - turning people away

I cannot tell you how much I have wanted to write here in my journal again. There have been so many ideas and even a couple of documents which I started but did not get completed. I did not expect my moving house to have bound my energy so much that my writing would come to a total stand still. I enjoy writing here and sharing with all of you who read my journal. There is a lot to catch up on but let me start with the last and then I will try to find the time to go back to the beginning and if what I was writing is still relevant, I will finish it and post it here later.

The latest news it that it finally happened! .......I had to turn someone away.

I had a couple for a 4 hour couple's booking and from the moment they arrived something was amiss. I could not pin point it at the time but afterwards it became very clear - the attitude of the male member of the couple was simply not right. I say this without judgment for he has his reasons for being the way he is. But what became very clear to me is that I do indeed have a choice of who I work with. I have always know this, but never had to put it into practice. What was wrong you may be asking?

Well to start with he took over the conversation and did not allow his female partner to speak. He tried to involve me in an intellectual discussion about the meaning of the word Tantra - of course always showing that he knew better. She during all this giggled and if I asked her something directly, she gave un-informative answers almost in a shy way looking to him for approval or recognition. My initial conversation is always about finding out something about the person or the couple in front of me and also giving them the opportunity to ask me questions. So initially I wanted to know something about their relationship and what brought them to Tantra. I also asked what they were wanting to achieve with the workshop or if there was something they wanted to work on. Granted, these are pretty standard questions but they do usually open up the conversation and I always get answers that lead into a more personal discussion. It gives me an idea of where the person or couple is coming from, and it gives us time to get to know each other a bit before starting the practical work.

But with this couple I could not get answers. They…or rather he was evasive and instead of answering asked me what the word Tantra meant. This surprised me – I don’t think anyone has asked me this before. Usually the questions are related to the practice of Tantra or how I came to Tantra or Tantra in South Africa. When I asked him what he already knew about Tantra, he answered that he was here to hear what I knew and what I had to show. I however did not feel inclined to show anything. It was confusing and what I did understand was the growing atmosphere of antagonism.

When I asked about their sex life, he said something about it being "a good f*** with her" while she grinned from ear to ear. I said something to the effect that I then hoped to show them how to "stop f***ing and start loving" and she reassured me that there was lots of that. I however felt nothing of this love between them or in the situation with me. It was then that I realized I would not be able to work with them unless they opened up a bit more and we were able to get some kind of conversation going. If we could not do that, how would we be able to work together warmly, trustingly and intimately...? I did not know how this was to work. Finally I said I would rather give them back their money than work under these circumstances. Then he really went to town saying I was a phony and knew nothing about Tantra and a whole lot of things more while I was taking down her banking details for the refund.
It was only after they left that it dawned on me that she had made the booking, she had made the payment, I had her phone number, her email address, she had not given me his name in the our correspondence referring to him simply as my partner, they had come in two cars, she had told me that she is divorced but he had told me nothing about himself and they had both been evasive about their relationship. When I put this together, I realised it very probably meant that they were having an affair. I was stunned that it had not dawned on me earlier and a number of aspects of the introductory talk became clear.

Tantra is totally honest. There is no reason to lie about anything and no reason to hurt an unknowing partner. There is every reason to be honest. It is all about what kind of energy you want to put out in the world. If you put out lies and dishonesty you will attract this back or something equivalent. This is not necessarily a moral standpoint, it is one of self-care and self-loving. Put into life what you would like back. Take care of yourself by giving what you yourself would wish to receive.

Of course the session could not work. This was what I had felt at the outset of our meeting when I felt that something was amiss.

How did I feel after they had left? It felt good not to have made a bad compromise. It felt good to have listened to my inner voice, but I felt a deep sadness about not being able to reach them. I felt sorrow for the woman who allowed this kind of “relating” to be a part of her life. He was so respectless towards her and she appeared to be so unaware of it. That hurt. My soul quietly reached out to her with the love that she should be getting and giving herself. As for him, I felt the pain of the helplessness behind the surface of arrogance he projected. He didn’t know better and he did not feel good inside. I did tell him as they were going that he was not ready for Tantra and that is true. It takes a readiness and usually the people coming to see me have this.

What is this readiness? It is a willingness and an openness to experience oneself in a new and very special way and in so doing, to want to begin to perceive life without the colored lens we usually wear in our lives.

All it takes is this willingness, and when we are able to take away the lens a whole knew wondrous world opens up to us…..
….we see the clear sky on a cloudy day
….we hear the rain drops touching the leaves
….we feel the wind caressing our skin
….we taste the beauty of life itself in one moment,
in every small moment making each one feel like a lifetime of intensity and joy!

Namaste
Leandra

2nd October 2007 - thoughts on South Africa

2007-10-02T18:30:00.001+02:00

2nd October 2007 - thoughts on South Africa

On my last trip back from JHB to the KZN south coast I remembered something my friend Wolf had said on his very first trip through our South African country side after arriving at JHB airport. Perhaps you recall, I mentioned Wolf in my journal and said we would be hearing more from him…? Well what he said was: “The cows are so small here….” I asked what he meant and after thinking for a while, he said…” oh no, it’s the landscape that is so vast!” I had done this trip so many times and not noticed that. Remembering the fields in between the many villages along any German country road, I could recall how much larger the cows seemed to be. Looking at our huge open space – especially as one drives through the Free State – the cows seemed minute. There is this vast openness with seemingly nothing in it except space, much space and here and there some cows or an equally small tree and then later the strange looking table-top-mountains – beautiful space.

What does this tell us? Well that how something appears to one is all about perspective. I used to use the concept of perspective as a therapeutic tool in my art therapy work. Sometimes a client would have painted something and not been able to relate to it. I would then say something like this: “…what if you were to close in on your image…move closer to what you have painted, would you see more details…?” And then I would encourage the client to paint from a closer perspective. Invariably the details would appear. This could be done with any part of the painting, sometimes creating a number of details which and we could proceed by puzzling the pieces of information together.

There is of course the other way around too. Sometimes the client was too close to something and it created apprehension or fear. Or it was equally unclear exactly what it meant. I would then say: “…move further away, see what is below, above and to the left and right of what you have painted….what do you see then?” And I would encourage them to paint the bigger picture, the bigger perspective.

This simple method of questioning would literally put things into perspective. Too close and too far away can be confusing and finding the “right” perspective to understand things is so important. It is the same story with the glass half filled with water – it can be either half full or half empty, depending on how you perceive it. So the minute cows in the vast landscape are not really smaller than the cows of Germany, they only appear so in this specific landscape.

This brings to mind how South Africans talk about their country. So many of us tend to focus on what is not right, not working, the problems, the terrible stories they have to tell. And yet, there is another side – the side of all the wonderful positive things we have to be grateful for. This applies to our personal lives in the very same way. Try it! Think about all that you have instead of what you don’t have and focus on that. In Germany (as in any other countries) there are many, many things that are bad, things that people do not like and this includes terrible crimes as well as things that the German government is not getting right. But one difference I notice is that they, as a people, do not focus so much on the negative aspects of their country. It does actually make a difference to the general atmosphere as well as to personal experience.

I want to tell you about an experience I had during my trip to JHB at the end of my daughter’s 2 week holiday in South Africa. I met a lovely young fellow in the Drakensberg where I stayed over with my daughter and her boyfriend. Matthias Lause, a blond 26 year old German was on the last leg of his 9 month journey of his Tractor-World-Tour for CLASS CAREs, a welfare organisation collecting funds for children in Lesotho. He had spent a few days in Durban waiting for his tractor to arrive by boat and did a scuba diving course. On the course he met 3 guys from JHB who each told him horrific stories of murders and hijackings that they had heard about or personally experienced. They painted a very bleak picture of the big city.

I had gone to bed leaving my daughter and her boyfriend chatting with Matthias in the hotel bar and the next morning I found a very changed boyfriend. He was nervous. We were on our way to JHB where we wanted to spend a couple of days before their flight back to Germany. We intended on going to the theatre as well as visiting some other interesting places in JHB. He was remarking on how terrible JHB is and was actually quite anxious. My daughter, thank goodness, was more relaxed as they both told me what Matthias had related to them about the storied he had heard. The barman at the hotel also had his share to fill in on the picture and all of a sudden there was this fear in the air about JHB. It took me quite a while to put things into the picture again – into perspective in order for them to relax about the days we would spend in the city.

Yes, there is a lot to be afraid of as bad things are happening on a large scale. But there is also a lot to love about JHB. I love JHB for many reasons. To me, it is the city of the most integration, it holds the wealth of our country, the warm-heartedness, the multi-culture not only of black and white but also of English and Afrikaans and other cultures – very similar to the large cities like Berlin, Hamburg and Cologne in Germany. It is the city with the most culture ….and much, much more.

We need to think about what kind of energy we are putting out there when we focus on bad stuff. I am not saying that it should not be mentioned and certainly not suggesting sweeping these things under the carpet. On the contrary. It needs our attention and it is the quality of energy we give to this attention that I want to address. What I am suggesting is that it is equally important to focus on the positive things to tell about our lives - and our country. We need to learn that. Why? Well not simply to paint a good picture of the place we live and earn our livings in, but for ourselves, for our personal well being, for what we expect in life, for what we expect for our country.

It is all about energy….the energy we present, the energy we expose others to, the energy we hold within our hearts.

Many of you will have seen the movie “The Secret” and heard about the universal Law of Attraction. If you are able to understand that we all boil down to energy vibrating or resonating at frequencies we ourselves create (don’t believe me, look into Quantum Physics to learn more about this) you will understand that we create what we hold within ourselves, what we are giving out. Our output becomes our input. So this is actually a really important thing – to put out more of what we want to actually experience. As I said earlier, it is all a matter of perspective. No need to pretend the badness is not there…it is much more a matter of taking into account and focusing on the goodness that is in our lives. It is about expecting the best while giving our best, knowing that we create our experience of things to come.

On this note, I would like to mention something really wonderful I discovered in JHB. It is something everyone I know in JHB complains about – the traffic and the electrical failures! The occasion was a peak hour trip to the shopping mal in the rain and the traffic lights were not working. It was total madness….BUT, it worked like a dream - no traffic flow would have functioned in any of the big cities I visited in Germany in this manner. The drivers all put into place the rule for 4-way stop streets: first come, first to leave. Yes, it was slow but ALL the traffic lights I drove through functioned in this way. Traffic was slow moving, but it moved – quite unlike the jams I had encountered in a similar situation in Hamburg, Germany. Everyone drove into the middle of the cross road until no one could move at all until the traffic police arrived - and then it took a long time to get it all sorted out. Germany does not have the 4-way stop street thing. They did not know how to deal with the situation. The drivers were equally mad, equally in a rush, and equally aggressive and it showed.

In the situation I was in, I am sure that the drivers were swearing about both the traffic and the electrical problems of the city, but the traffic still flowed. I sat in my car in wondrous appreciation of our 4-way stop street training and how our drivers were able to cope.

Why am I writing all this? It touched me deeply to see the result of the horrific stories in my daughter's boyfriend. He felt uncomfortable, I felt uncomfortable, and so did my daughter. All we wanted was to have a good time in JHB and that seemed in jeopardy. I feel strongly about the country of my birth - and I do this having lived away for so long. I remember the deep longing to be home. And I am very aware of the fact that the grass is by no means greener on the other side. As a student I had fought for the change in South Africa and as an adult well on in my life, I feel a great sadness about the unending problems we are encountering presently. I am however deeply happy to be here. I find something here that helps me feel whole - be it the sunshine, the fact that when it rains it really does rain, the vast landscapes, the huge waves of the Indian Ocean or the wonderful warm, friendly, and happy people here. There is a happiness here that I only could perceive after living overseas for so long. I did not find this there, ever - and that is an honest statement.

To all of you out there, take some time to think about perspective. Go a little closer if you need more detail and a little further away if you want the bigger picture. And remember too that you attract into your life what you think, feel, and do. If you want more of something else, then you do really need to give and at the same time expect more of that in your life. And remember to send out the message of what you want to receive. You are like a magnet attracting to your life what you hold within yourself. I have known about this phenomenon for such a long time now - not just since The Secret movie. I've lived by this for many, many years and I know that it is true, that it works.

On a personal level, I am taking some time out to catch up planning and also on writing after so many very busy months of Tantra Sacred Massage work – although, I must say, students at the coast are keeping me busy too! I am using this month of October to plan the workshops that the School of Durga Tantra will be offering next year as well as some organisational work for the National Institute of Tantra South Africa. There are new and interesting developments which you will be hearing about soon.

Until then, I wish all of you a wonderful spring season, much joy and love...and connectedness to the Greater One I love to call Existence.

Namaste
Leandra

PS if you would like to visit the website of the Tractor-World-Tour go to http://www.tractor-world-tour.com/

20th June 2007 - Training has started

2007-06-20T18:25:00.001+02:00

20th June 2007 - Training has started

Just a quite note to say how thrilled I am that a number of students have taken on the Tantra Sacred Massage training process. This is joyous indeed and the work is progressing wonderfully. Up till now it is a number of men who have asked for training and for some of them it will be for their private use in their relationships. However some are interested in this healing work and some time in the future I will be able to announce on my website that certified Tantra Sacred Massage masseurs will be starting their work. So to all the women out there: in future you will also be able to work with a male coach. This is great as at some time along the path of the women coming to me for sessions it is necessary for the work to continue with the male energy present. The training for this work professionally is individual and the personal journey that the trainees are on will determine when they are ready.

There are a number of women interested in the training, however their journey to this work is slower. They are still busy considering, thinking about it and need this time to become clear. There seems to be more conditioning to overcome particularly here in South Africa. The stigma of being a "bad woman" is much stronger than in the case of males coming to this work - although they also have something similar to overcome, namely "what does this mean for my personal relationships, for my marriage?". I understand this fully. It is quite a step to take and requires a journey on the part of any partner too. Overcoming jealousy perhaps, or concern, or simply "what will our friends think?” In this way both partners will benefit by "riding the tantric tiger", by taking a journey into the unknown, by embracing changes and a deeper level of trust in their partners and what they share in life.

I am willing and interested in meeting the partners of trainees. I think this is important that they know who I am, hear something about the work and particularly the high ethics involved. I am happy to involve them to some degree in the training process and I hope some will make use of this.

So really, all I wanted to do is share my joy with you all about this development. And also my deep gratitude to Klaus Smeds, my trainer and director of the school in Germany where I trained, for opening up the possibility for those who undergo the training to receive an international certification.

I miss Klaus and his wife Barbara. I had intended doing the Lomi Lomi Neu training with Barbara this year some time during our winter. Changes in my life are preventing me from going to Germany this year. However, time is relative really, and when the time is right I will be able to go. In the mean time, there is so much to do here, so many seeking people coming to my work, to Tantra, to the massages and to Tantra coaching.

For this I am here. I feel this was always my destiny - if one can say that at all, as Existence leads us and I do not know where I will be led next. What I do know is that I grow with each person I see. I grow into the work, I grow personally, I grow in Spirit, and I grow in Love. There actually is no word for this feeling of gratitude and joy inside of me - it is simply there.

Namaste
Leandra

28th April 2007 - On reacting, responding and witnessing…

2007-04-28T21:41:00.000+02:00

28th April 2007 - On reacting, responding and witnessing….

Sometimes I am asked how I deal with everyday things - you know, the kind of mishaps, hurts, frustrations etc that occur regularly in anyone’s life? What friends want to know is how does my dealing with these matters differ from my pre-Tantra lifestyle. They notice that I have become somewhat different, I am the same, yet different. When I ask them what is different, they say you glow more, you seem so happy, contented, you don’t frown anymore …! They notice that I’ m not fazed by things that go wrong or people that do me wrong. So what is it, what has made this noticeable change? How do I deal with things that can so easily make a whole day go sour?

It is so simple – like everything about Truth once you have opened your perception to it. It is about responding instead of re-acting and it is about becoming a witness to the situation.

No one can explain it better than Osho:
“Have you seen a bullock-cart moving? The wheel moves goes on moving, but at the centre of the wheel something remains permanent. On that permanent hub the wheel moves. On that unmoving hub the wheel's movement exists. Exactly like that, you have a hub -- that hub is unmoving; and you have a wheel-like personality that goes on moving. You have travelled far, thousands of miles and thousands of lives, and the wheel knows many roads and many paths, but the hub has remained where it is. Now you can look at reality in two ways: either from the wheel -- then everything is changing every moment; or from the hub -- then nothing is changing….

How to find this hub of life? -- By becoming a witness, one finds it. Somebody insults you, anger arises; you remain a witness. The insult comes from outside, the anger arises on the periphery, and you remain at the centre, watching. Yes, somebody has done something, provoked your periphery, and there is anger on the periphery, and the anger is surrounding you like a smoke cloud, but you are at the hub, watching. You are not identified with the periphery. Then the insult is outside, and the anger is also outside of you. Both are separate and far away. Both are different from you....

When this awareness grows, dreaming stops, by and by. When this awareness grows, the wheel moves slower and slower. One day it happens: the wheel is as silent, as unmoving as the hub. That is the point when enlightenment happens.”

This is exactly what Tantra brought out in me more intensely than anything else I had tried in my life including lots of psychotherapy along my journey to becoming a therapist myself. It is to BE in the moment during my day. Not that I am claiming to be doing this 24/7, but I am in the moment as a witness as often as I can – the exact opposite to doing one thing and thinking of something else or to be mentally in the past or in the future, missing out the moment of time that has just passed.
Brenda Lee, the “little miss dynamite” singer of the 60's and 70's says it in a song quite nicely:

Coming on strong...coming on strong…
I can see the heartache coming on strong,
I can feel the tear drops, pain and sorrow
Ever since you’ve been gone
They’ve been coming on strong....

She is of course singing about a man who has gone out of her life and the feelings this gives her. If we translate the absence of the man to be the absence of knowledge of the Oneness of all Existence – then yes, we do feel the heartache, the tear drops, the pain and the sorrow and if we are a witness to this, we feel it coming on strong. We watch the automatically rising reaction and in doing so are able to transform them into a chosen response.

Now this in itself does not make those difficult everyday frustrations and hurts go away. And they do most certainly not feel any different! What it does is that it allows me to feel the moment more intensely. But, the friends argue, “...that only makes things worse!”

No it actually does not. More intensely means with more awareness. Being aware of the moment, any moment in time, makes each moment you are aware of more intense than the moments you are not aware of. On the one side experiencing the emotion of the moment deeply and clearly and on the other being a witness to my reactions.

When I look at the mighty Indian Ocean from my garden with awareness, I see the colour, I smell the scent, I hear the sound, I breath the salty air and one moment becomes a lifetime of pure bliss taking all this in.

Well, so also with the everyday frustrations. I breathe the moment, I smell it, hear it, perceive it with awareness and become a witness to a stage on which I am a puppet of my own conditioning. Once I have the “witness-perspective” on any aspect of my REACTING to things, it is as if I see beyond the puppet re-actions, beyond to the real heart- felt RESPONSE. These are two totally different things. Instead of simply re-acting an old emotion I become able to respond to the moment.

Even if I feel hurt, the response can be compassion for the person on the other side of the hurt. In my pre-Tantra days, I would have perceived the situation or the person involved in my moment to be the cause of my hurt. Tantra taught me to understand my reactions to be mine. I own them - they come from within, from somewhere deep inside me. Actually they have very little to do with the situation or the other person. The person or situation is simply a catalyser for the emotions I am feeling. I can actually be grateful for this catalysation as it gives me the opportunity to look, once again, at my reaction and see if this is really necessary. It is usually not necessary at all and so I can turn this into a response to the situation.

Just think of this: we grow up accumulating all sorts of experiences and together with the emotional result of these experiences in our individual selves, they are held somewhere in our mind and body memories. We consciously - and more often sub-consciously - call on these memories up when similar events occur and experience what we understand as our personal reactions to things. But is this really us? I say, “no it is not”! It is the result of a conditioned reaction to certain triggers. So understanding this as a mechanism of our human experience, it becomes possible to say, I own my reaction, it is the result of my experiences, my upbringing, my education, my culture – but this is not the real me. This creates a distance to the experienced emotion itself, and from this distance I am able to become a witness to the events and emotions that are taking place within.

So when we do this, we are able to watch the emotion rising and are more in a position to change that emotion and instead of re-acting in the usual way. We become able to respond (as opposed to react). Responding is a matter of choice and we always have a choice.

The “old” way of my anger or soreness projected onto the other becomes in this “new” way my own anger or soreness. There can be no judgment or blame on the other for causing this as it rises only from within myself. Recognizing this adds to the distancing, to the witnessing. I become able to watch as a feeling of rejection or hurt arises. When I watch this a number of things can happen. One of them is that more often or not I am able to laugh at myself. There that old hurt goes again, oh yes I know you, I feel you but I will not project you onto the other. Setting my projections free allows compassion for myself, and more particularly for the other to come through.

Personally I might be part of the situation while mentally I am witnessing it. I see not only the cause of my frustration, I see myself as intensely as all else. I see each second of my reaction, I see my perspective, where it comes from and if necessary, I am able to go right into the uncomfortable feeling in a very deep way. If this is what is in me at this present moment, I want to experience it. I want the fullness of this moment. Only if I can take the fullness of such difficult moments can I experience the fullness of the blissful moments in my life. It is the polarities once again, the one-ness perceived as a two-ness.

So if I make the appearance to my friends that I am happier, more joyful than I used to be – this is what it is. My experience of everything in my life is more intense. I do not push away the hurtful moments. I embrace them as mine and mine only – not caused by some one or some situation. It is always my choice as to how I respond instead of to automatically re-act to something.

Does this make life easier? Yes it does!
Does this make me happier? Yes it does!
Is this part of the Truth we are somehow all seeking? Yes it is!

To get back to the Brenda Lee song - we can "translate" the man that has gone from our lives to our experience of Oneness with all life, with all Existence, that has gone. In this we perceive you and me separate from each other. Only the Oneness has not left us stranded with hurt, we have left our natural perception of the eternal Oneness and have polarized into you and me, into opposites. In returning to the experience of Oneness, all these daily situations are simply showing us where we left the path, paving the way to return at the very same spot. And then the experience of Oneness, and non-separate-ness allows a response which includes compassion, understanding and even love Is this not wonderful? I say, indeed it is.

“The past is yours, the future is yours, and the present is God's. We divide time into three tenses -- past, present, future -- but that division is not right. Time can be divided between the past and the future but the present is not part of time, it is part of eternity.”
I want to share this response from one of my students to this journal entry with you!

The writer is the husband of a young couple with 4 young children that spent an intensive weekend of Tantra work here with my at the KZN south coast last year. It gives you an idea of what Tantra Sacred Massage can do and just how spiritual tantric healing massage / body-work is. Their names have been changed.

" I really enjoyed your latest message on your website and reading about all the latest developments. Its great to see that you are so active and productive!
About the 'turning wheel': In my childhood I was familiar with my 'witness'. I used to think up meditations that I would do at sunset every day and through them I became familiar with 'stilling my mind' and looking inside until I found the 'spark' with which I came into the world. At one point I had a particular name for this 'essence'; a color, a sound, but now I've forgotten. I do remember the emotion that was there and it was one of completeness, harmony and love. I came into the world wishing it well.
At about the time just before I met Rosanna I completely lost this sense of me. I felt a huge loss, but I didn't even know why (I just thought it was the absence of the sea and not being able to surf for eight hours a day). Luckily I pushed through and now it is slowly all coming back.
It's true isn't it, that most people are simply actors in their own and others' melodramas. We are all victims of our own conditioning. Both society and we ourselves contrained our minds incredibly and the end result is that we become like ships lost in the turbulant seas of our emotions.
What I didn't realise before was exactly how insidious and how pervasive our thought-patterns are. Yoga shows you that action originates in thought, and strikingly Jesus had a similar view, saying that we should go beyond action and strive to cut out the roots of our evil thoughts. With a bit of effort we can cleanse our minds of negative energy and so we gain control of our development and start a positive process of spiritual growth, with increasing love and kindness for the world and ourselves . I think that all faiths contain this inherent posibility, that they can help us merge with 'God' within us, and then we will see that 'God' is also in the world and that both are one. Indeed all dualisms and the agony of seperation is then overcome.

But it is so hard helping others to find their 'witness' isn't it? Especially if they are not seeking it. I suppose that it is a journey that each must undertake at their own pace (why the ancient Indians didn't have any 'missionary zeal'!) Luckily for me, Rosanna is also striving to hold on to her witness and to help her 'witness' grow. It takes a huge strain off our relationship, but at the same time I see the value of the period of my life when I had to confront my own emotions, and then just let them go and look inwards once more.

And in a big way the process for Rosanna, and the remembering for me, started that weekend with you.
Hope you continue to do such great work for a long time to come!"
Salvador

Namaste
Leandra

29th March 2007 - on working in Johannesburg and women

2007-03-29T21:34:00.000+02:00

29th March 2007

My spell in Johannesburg was, once again, lovely. More and more spiritually seeking guys are coming to the massages I offer. And slowly but surly more women are becoming interested in Tantra, which is wonderful. What I am noticing is the difficulties in the sensual and sexual that an Afrikaans upbringing brings with it. Many married couples are struggling with their sexuality. This is not only amongst the Afrikaans society, those brought up within the English speaking society are affected also – it is simply that amongst my Afrikaans students, the predominance of these difficulties is making itself very apparent.

Mostly it is the result of the women “going off” sex and the men battling with this. The sexual is not something talked about, women do not state their desires, men do not know how to touch women resulting in the sexual becoming mundane, quick and anything other than passionate and loving. Couples then start drifting apart and if an affair on the part of one of the partners does not put an end to this – and the marriage – the partners appear to become more and more shy about talking intimately with one another. Of course, the rat race out there, the necessity to make a living and bringing up children add to the lack of time, the tiredness, the “couldn’t be bothered” and sex becoming something that has to be done (the men wanting some form of release, the women taking the idea of the wife being obliged to have sex seriously) and so it becomes more and more unfulfilling and certainly not something that creates and holds the intimacy, the love and the passion between the couple sacred.

So a lot of my work is about showing men how to touch their wives and allow the intimacy to grow again. There is so much that Tantra offers couples (and those wanting to be a couple) in the way of ideas and methods for a loving, sensual and tantric building up and maintaining of sexual relations, and it is such a pleasure to be able to pass on what I know and what changed my life completely along the road of my tantric walk.

The women who are coming to me are mostly concerned about their sexuality, many feel inhibited, say they do not enjoy sex that they cannot not relax and feel that it is simply something they have to do – so they do it and hope it will be over quickly! Well, part of this is due to the conservative upbringing, the dogmatic religions indoctrinating their believers into understanding that the sexual is evil etc. and the general concept of what a woman has to be in our South African culture. The other part is due to the fact that men simply do not know much about the needs of women and how to go about making sexual experiences a true uniting of the feminine and masculine. Mostly, it is simply pretty masculine! Sorry guys, but this is so and if you are one of the guys with little passionate sex in your life, it is time you take the lesson and begin to change things – and this can be done!

For the women, it is time to realize the importance of sexual energy in their lives, take the plunge to go the route of discovering their sensuality apart from their men and become passionate about this so special kind of intimacy between a man and a woman. You are hot baby and you need to teach your man how to touch you, how to take the time you need and also how to be sensual without it necessarily becoming the usual orgasm chase that we call sex!

Tantra teaches all this. It is not done in one session or one short workshop – both men and women need time to grow into this. It is a beautiful journey for married couples as well as for singles. Our human experience of life is limited by the finality of our bodies fading and finally dying, so it is time to use our lives finding physical, emotional and spiritual intimacy in the sexual.

Tantra is a path to the transcendence of the sexual – this transcendence is however not the same as the frustration so many are experiencing. Transcendence of the sexual can only take place if the sexual is recognized as a source of tremendous loving and passion. Living this intimate passion changes everything in your life positively. As long as we are battling with sexual matters, we are unable to transcend it.

I have often been asked about this and I also read a lot on the internet in various blogs about how living a spiritual life is physically a celibate life. At the very depth of Tantra, celibacy is a real step on the path to Enlightenment – but it has to come from the fulfillment of the sexual and not from the frustration of it. There are celibate tantric groups writing about how wrong the focus on the sexual in Tantra is, that it is not part of the original ancient practice and that the modern western global society is making out of Tantra what it should not be. Well, I do not agree with this. The sexual was always part of the path and it always will be. After all, we are born sexual beings, with a strong sexual drive from adolescence onwards. Why on earth should we have this if we have to negate it as bad?

I see the few tantric practitioners here in South Africa emphasizing working with spiritually seeking people only. They too are negating the importance of this life force in our beings. One of the difficulties I had with my first Tantra teacher here in South Africa was exactly this. I got the feeling of doing the “lower less spiritual” work whereas the others from the school were practicing the “higher more spiritual” work. I had numerous discussions about this and it was one of the reasons I finally left the school. “Nonsense” is all I can say to this outlook of what Tantra is about! All this is, is once again, diving into the polarities of good and bad, higher and lower, sexual and non-sexual – the polarities making themselves known again. I heard students of this school saying: “ I am not interested in helping a guy to a better sexuality” and “ I want to only work with spiritual seekers” etc. Are we not all spiritual seekers? We are! And we are simply on different paths of the journey. We all want to find spiritual fulfillment in some way whether we are believers or not. The polarities are simply the two opposite aspects of the Oneness of our existence. Tantra works with these polarities and brings them together. Tantric bliss is about experiencing the Oneness of all Existence – oh yes, how wonderful this is. I feel closest to the Divine in a tantric experience of orgasm. For me it is total surrendering to the joy of life itself, surrendering to the deepest place of my being, surrendering to my spiritual nature. Hard to comprehend? Maybe, if you have not yet experienced this yet. Once a glimpse of the experience is made, you begin to understand and yearn for more. This yearning is far fetched from what usual sex is about, even what usual “making love” is about. It is a yearning for the Love, the Soul, the Spirit, the Omnipresence, the Life that IS the Divine.

I am so grateful to be able to put this message out there here in South Africa. I know that I am contributing to the healing necessary throughout our culture. Once we see the Diving in all life, that it is not separate from who we are, from who the other is, we begin to integrate the physical and the spiritual and slowly loose the experience of its separateness. We begin to wonder at the greatness of Existence and more importantly, we begin to realize that we are actually not humans seeking a spiritual experience, but spiritual beings in a human experience. The more we realize and live this, the closer we become to the Divine, God and we become humble and grateful for all we experience.

For those who want to go this path, I say GO FOR IT! It will take time and sometimes patience, but once you are on this road, you will not want to take any detours any longer. Please remember, it is not done in one Tantra massage session. The massage shows you the direction. If you come for regular teachings and treatments, you will experience something different each time, you will grow with each experience and you will finally, firstly transcend your mind-set, your body memory, your conditioning and begin to experience yourself anew. Tantra was always and is traditionally a one-on-one teaching. The “secrets” are passed on from teacher to student, from master to trainee and it is within the experience of this trusting and deep relationship that you will – on every level – begin to understand the principles of Tantra physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

I work just as eagerly with those who are earnestly on this path as well as those at the very outset of their tantric journey and are busy getting their desire for a fulfilling sexuality sorted out! To me, there is no difference between the two. It is the same journey, the same path – simply different places on the road!

Namaste
Leandra

28th February 2007 - loving Johannesburg, learning experiences

2007-02-28T21:31:00.000+02:00

28th February 2007

Another eventful yet wonderful trip to JHB! I returned home last Sunday after being away for 3 weeks this time. Two weeks was jam packed with work – many students for individual sessions and two workshops.

The first week was the eventful one for me....

Having arrived in JHB to move from my flat to friends, I found nothing to be as I had expected it to be. The renovations had not even begun, let alone could I think of actually moving into my room. I felt frustrated and this grew as the days went on with still no progress. It takes time to understand the circumstances we find ourselves in. It took me a number of days of waiting and persevering, sleeping in the meditation room and being a pain to my friends (I was pushing for things to be done), until I finally understood that this was not supposed to be. So a quick move back into my flat, secured my lease with the landlord once again, got over the disappointment and everything was back to normal – well almost!

There were questions that needed answers. I believe everything happens for a reason - so what was the reason for this upheaval in my life? Why did a friendship almost come to fall over a move that could not take place as planned? Why did I behave this way and my friends that way? I was looking for the bigger purpose of it all. It could not have happened simply to feel disappointed and also to disappoint friends….so why was this part of my path?

I’ll come back to that in a moment, first let me tell you how my stay continued….

It was simply glorious! I met new students, (I no longer call massage guests "clients" – they are students of Tantra) and among them a number of really earnest ones which I find particularly exciting. Some students from overseas on business trips to SA, a number of couples and slowly but surely, women are also coming to Tantra. Then the two workshops, both with small groups, all lovely people.

The work went very deep on numerous occasions. This depth usually is on both the physical and emotional level simultaneously. I have the idea to construct a plan (and a special price) for those students who want to come back for on-going sessions/training and I will be doing this shortly and positing it on this website.

I had little spare time, between seeing two students a day, there is so much changing of sheets and towels and I wonder if you can imagine the amount of washing?! I don’t do it myself (no room for a washing machine in my flat) but have a lovely personal service through a friend who brings and collects. I used the massage table a number of times, utalising my newly learned tantric touch massage that Ron Solo taught me. The amount of oil that lands of the floor is quite astounding - thank goodness for tiles, yet oil somehow seems to get everywhere - it is a very resistant and determined material!

I love JHB – I’ve written this before in my journal and yes, it is so. Every time I’m up there my experiences with the people of JHB are great. I spend a lot of time in Melville – I love the little shops, the bars, cafes and restaurants. I sometimes go there to just sit and watch the happy people going about their business. I’ve noticed that people are most happy in the hours after work or after lectures. Melville becomes such a joyous hub-bub of all kinds of folk enjoying the end of their working day. I find everyone friendly...and worldly (remember I live in a very quiet place on the coast), and yes, busy too. There is a particular kind of flair about our big city that reminds me of the cities of Europe.

In Hamburg, where I lived for many years there is the city centre with the big department stores which is absolutely dead at night and then there are numerous suburbs with an atmosphere of their own, with pavement cafes, restaurants, clubs, cinemas, little boutique shops and people milling around at all times of the day and night. I always lived more in my suburb than in the big city when I was living there, meaning, I hardly went into “town”. It is like this for me in JHB. Melville has become “my suburb" and I feel at home there.

So after all my wonderful students, the workshops and the drive back home (I had my car up with me for the first time – in the past I always flew in and then was stuck in my flat more or less) what conclusions was I able to make about the meaning of the initial upheaval?

What I noticed is that it functioned like a threshold, like a gateway, an archway in my life. Once I had walked through it, life on the other side was clearer than it had been for a couple of months. Do you know such times or moments in life, whereby you have the feeling afterwards that you have walked over a threshold? My threshold was about loosing attachment – once again – to situations, feelings, plans people and things. I realized that my motivation to make the move had been materialistic in that I wanted the much lower rent, the comfort of a whole house with washing machine, filled up kitchen on my arrival and nothing going stale after I leave. And a TV in the evenings to “switch off”! Excuse the pun! I hardly watched TV actually while I was in the house, and enjoy being in my flat without any distraction. It allows me to let the sessions of the day slowly retreat from my thoughts in the evenings in full awareness of what they had brought and meant to me.

The idea was good, but was this what Existence wanted for me? Obviously not! How do I know that? Well it is actually easy but often not so easy to become aware of and respond to. If something comes easily, in a flowing, a ripple, a fitting together of people, situations and things, it is usually meant to be. When things become difficult, don’t match up, causing problem upon problem, it is usually a sign that it should not be! I have seen this time and time again in my life – what is meant to be comes simply, almost falling into your lap and what is not meant to be is always something you feel you have to fight and argue for.

The threshold was to simply let it go. So simple and so difficult. Letting something go that is not coming easily often functions like walking over a threshold.

Once I was over mine – and boy did I hang on in there – there was a simple feeling of joyfulness, of contentment, a restfulness and warmth, the disappointment gone totally. That was my sign. There was no “issue” still to resolve with my friends – whatever their reason was to their part in the confusion was not really my business or my issue. They are responsible for that. I am responsible for my choices and my responses and no one else can be made responsible for this in my life. There is no blaming or “victim story” about them getting me into such a situation etc. It was my choice and I had made it based on materialistic goals and not on an inner wisdom – so it was actually all perfectly fine to have happened the way it did. I graciously took the message about Trust, trusting I would earn enough to keep my flat, trusting I would manage all I have to manage on my own, trusting that making a mistake is not a bad thing, simply something we sometimes do.

I have also said this before somewhere in my journal – the times of difficulty are my times of learning and the times of peace and easiness are my times for resting. The resting is wonderful, but I must admit, I welcome the learning periods more as they are the times of growth. I want to grow. I will always want to grow. This, to me, is one of the most beautiful aspects of life, the fact that we are given so many opportunities to grow in every way and particularly – if we are willing to take the lesson to its deepest and fullest – to grow spiritually.

I am so grateful for what Existence places in my path. I am grateful for these three weeks in JHB, I am grateful for the difficulties – I have learnt well.

Namaste
Leandra

17th January 2007 - Something about sexuality and South Africa

2007-01-17T21:25:00.000+02:00

17th January 2007

In my personal circle of friends, I am being met with a variety of reactions to my association with Tantra. Often the reactions are great, people start opening up about their sexuality and interest in Tantra and it is quite amazing to find how many individuals and couples there are, who have been reading the web or buying books and DVD’s on the subject.

On the other hand, I have also been met with a great deal of fear and rejection. This does not concern me personally, I know who I am and what I do and personal projections of inner repressions do not bother me much. What concerns me is the lack of understanding of what Tantra is about that prevalent in our society. The background for this is that very little Tantra is being practiced in our country and within that, what is being practiced is more often than not, not the real thing. But behind this is something else.

The nature of our society here in SA is actually a society against anything sexual – much more so than in Europe where there is quite an open-minded attitude. Our Calvinistic Christian background has much to do with this. In Germany, the prevalence of Martin Luther’s teachings allows for much acceptance amidst a wide variety of peples and lifestyles. There, people have for many, many years held an attitude of tolerance towards others ways and practices. The laws of the country allow much more freedom for the individual and protection of individual rights and lifestyles this than here – in spite of our liberal constitution.

So, on this background, what is it that certain people are reacting to when they hear that I am a Tantra coach?

It is their fantasies about Tantra and what it entails, coupled with a staunch conservative upbringing which negates our sexual nature completely and which in turn, allows their fantasies to flourish. The perception is that practicing Tantra means all you become interested in is sex, and that tantrikers run around all day thinking of sex – in fact further, it makes anyone who is at ease with the sexual and their sexuality somehow “bad people”.

I sometimes get the impression that some people think of me as a sex-maniac of sorts. This results in false projections for example, when I am affectionate or speak openly of sexual matters. Some people like to think my openness is equivalent to making a sexual advance, others prefer to simply think of me as a “lost” human being whereas, actually, the opposite is always true.

All this is, is a reflection of their own minds, their own pre-occupation with sexuality, their own fears of “giving in” to what they would actually like for themselves, namely to be free of constraints that are limiting in any way. They are unaware that living a tantric life does not make one a “focused on the sexual” human being, but rather takes that prevalent focus away and places the focus more on becoming an open, free and non-judgmental human being – which to me is what spirituality is about.

The realization that we are not separate but entirely connected with each other and with all of life, that you are a part of me and I am a part of you, is what connects us with each other, and in this we are all connected with Divine, God. To me, this realisation opens one up to a spiritual attitude towards life - no matter what your religious conviction is. Buddhism and Hinduism come closest to this where there is a clear understanding that we are all Divine, part of God. If I truly know this, how can I reject something in you – I would be rejecting a part of my own being.

The other aspect that is not useful to open-mindedness, is the connotation that everything from the east can only be of the devil, be it simple yoga classes or good advanced sexual education, and that we must stay virgins until marriage and then have sex pretty quickly and certainly not passionately. This stems strongly from a strong dogmatic “born again” Christian trend in this country. The “promise” of going to hell when Christ comes again, is indeed deeply disturbing and threatening. I know this from experience, as part of my path in finding the Truth about life, love and the Divine, was a journey of some years through such a church.

It saddens me to see how limited people are. It saddens me more to see how limiting their attitudes towards others and towards the whole of life can be. What they are not aware of, is the limitations they impose on others, limit themselves the most.

The opposite of all these projections is actually true. I have found that sex is far less on my mind since finding Tantra. This is because the sexual is no longer repressed, no longer has to be hidden. There is no need to restrict anything and in so doing, I have become more pre-occupied with all the wonders of life, sex is simply one of them.

Tantra does not make you more sexual than you already are. We are sexual beings. It is the repression of this very real fact of life, that makes it all bad. Loose your repression and you understand your true nature more, you no longer need to be secretive about sexual matters, or openly blatent about it. Sex becomes something so natural, like brushing your teeth - well almost! And when it is natural, you loose the constant, crazy search for sexual relief. Taking up Tantra in a serious mannor will teach you to be orgasmic at every level of your life - can it get better than that?

It teaches you to experience pleasure in a more intensive way, you become grateful for the little mundane things in life and this on a high level. That makes you more satisfied that you could ever be through a sexual encounter or a bombastic orgasm. That is over so quickly and then everything is back to normal, till next time. Understanding the sexual as something spiritual will give you much more than you can imagine. It sets you free from the constant race for that orgasm. Why should you, you have it all within yourself! It allows the expression of your sexuality to become fuller, more satisfying because all of you is involved - not just your genitals. Your body, mind and soul (to use one of those regular esoteric phrases) becomes involved and that gives you more satisfaction, more discernment, more awareness than in a regular sexual encounter.

In wrting this, I would like to encourage those of you who are hesitating on account of such above mentioned conditioning restrictions, to start the journey at some point that you find acceptable and see where it leads you. Our progress is entirely individual and there is no set route, no expectations causing distress – simply a wonderful journey to the very centre of your being, which is Divine.

Namaste
Leandra

1st January 2007 - It's a new year again!

2007-01-01T18:24:00.000+02:00

1st January 2007 - It's a new year again!

It's a new year again! How quickly this comes, a momentary transition.

I have spent the festive season in training. My gift on Christmas day was, after some months of intense correspondence, finally meeting the international tantric touch and tantra massage spezialist Ron Solo, who had just flown in from Australia, and beginning the practical training with him. This culminated in the one-day tantric touch workshop on the 30th which we facilitated together. My tantric journey in the days before the workshop went deep - my experience of Tantra with trained and experienced tantrikers has always been like this. This took me to even further depths of my soul and being, and I have come out of this training invigorated, motivated and transformed. Experiencing, learning never ceases and so transformation is inevitable.

Facilitating the workshop together was a highlight for me. We had 15 participants from all over South Africa – Cape Town, Durban, Pretoria, and of course Johannesburg, where the workshop took place – all of whom went away with a new experience of what sensual touch can be. It was a wonderful experience for all and the feedbacks we are receiving are encouraging and motivating. I will be holding similar workshops around SA in the course of this year. In addition to this, my own planned workshops (more in the German tradition of Tantra workshops), will be on the program which will appear shortly here on my website and on The School of Durga Tantra website, which I am currently working on.

One of the things that my experiences this last year have endorsed in me, is the fact that it is necessary to have continual training if I am to put a true message out there of what Tantra is about. I have had extremely varying experiences with teachers of Tantra. The self taught teachers lack a number of things which are exceptionally important:
- they lack the experience of being on the receiving end of the teaching, and thus do not know what it means to be in the vulnerability it takes to submit to such deep processes.
- they lack the experience of submitting to a teacher, which requires a deep trusting, in itself part of the experience and so important in Tantra. They therefore also lack the feeling of strong willingness to learn from someone else.
- they lack the input of people experienced in a tantric lifestyle and qualified for tantric work. Their knowledge, from books and videos, is extremely limited. More importantly, they assimilate knowledge that they then put into practice with "guinea pigs" who are actually real people and who deserve more. Practicing on personal friends and lovers, i.e. in personal relationships, does not do what the submission to training can achieve.

As I mentioned earlier, part of the training is learning the value of total trust and understanding the vulnerability you submit into, which brings a dimension not possible in personal relationships.

There is nothing wrong with self-teaching, it should however be used for one’s self and not as a teaching to experiment with and impose on others. This can and should be used privately, not professionally. Working on such an intimate level actually requires a great deal of qualified training and experience. My qualification in the expressive psychotherapies required many years of training, and together with over 20 years years of professional work in the field of experiential psychotherapies, allows me to voice such an opponion from a professional standpoint. What this practice results in is a crashing through personal boundaries, a sublte manipulation and control which ultimately has no purpose but to make the giver feel great. It also opens the door to teachings which are biased and not a true rendition of what Tantra is. This does not do Tantra any good. It also does not do the individual any good.

I know all this from personal experience. It has happened to me here in SA (and only here - the Eruropeans tend to be much more professional in their approach) and I have seen it happen here to others. I was able to deal extremely well with the manipulative encroachment on my person and taken it for what it was, a learning curve. But will this be the case for the younger, less experienced person? This worries me deeply.

We are extremely vulnerable when it comes to Tantra here in SA. There is little choice to make educated, free choices. In Euorpe, where there is an abundance of schools and teachers and a large tantric community, this is an entirely different situation. My endeavor this 2007, is to bring a quality of Tantra to South Africa that is comparable with the high standard and quality of work being done internationally. I will also be returning to Germany later this year to further my training with qualified and experienced trainers. I cannot possibly imagine why anyone would want to miss out on getting this kind of valuable input. I have a deep desire to grow, to learn, to progress. I long for encounters with people like Klaus Smedts and Ron Solo, they have given me so much on a very deep personal level, as well as immeasurably valuable training for the work I do.

I find it particularly exciting to have learnt from Ron that there was a vibrant, small tantric community in JHB during the 60ties and 70ties - brought to SA by two women who had received training in Europe and the UK (read about Ron Solo’s training here…). Even more exciting, is the fact that I have been given the privilege of bringing this quality of Tantra to SA again. I take this on with gratitude and joy and with a feeling of responsibility.

It is with this feeling of deep gratitude that I begin 2007. For the many clients who entrusted themselves to my work in 2006 - it is from you that I continually learn. Thank you so much for your faith in what I do.

For the two intense trainings with wonderful teachers last year, the influences of both of which have, and are finding their way into my own work. The blessings of my trainers, Klaus Smedts and Ron Solo, both of whom I deeply admire, accompany me into this new year of tantric work.

I wish you all a blessed 2007. May you all have many moments of joy and bliss and whatever your journey is, remember there is a beginning, but there is no ending. It is the journey itself that makes each moment so special. In the hardest moments of life are the deepest lessons to be learnt. Accept these with gratitude and experience what a difference it makes. Hardship does not dissappear, but it the willingness to accept what is in your path, moves you in a different way and allows you to transform and to grow.

Namaste
Leandra

22nd December 2006 - on tantric touch, the workshop on and of course festive greetings....

2006-12-22T18:17:00.001+02:00

22nd December 2006 - on tantric touch, the workshop on and of course festive greetings....

The countdown to the Tantric Touch Workshop on 31st December has started! Bookings are coming in and it looks like a number of very interesting people will be there. I am so looking forward to it for a number of reasons. Ron Solo and I will be working together for the first time, it is the first time I will be working in the lovely new Marquee space and it is the first time that a tantric touch workshop like this is being held at the Marquee and in fact, in SA! So, a lot of firsts to end off the year as you can see!

Touch is so important. Read the article below written by Klaus Smedts, my Tantra massage trainer in Germany. It's about the relationship between the lack of touch and rising aggression in the American culture. We touch too little. Today children are touched less, particularly in the USA where there is so much stress about issues around child misuse. Understandable, but when parents become over careful, children get too little touching love.

Just think of it: our skin is our largest organ. It is the barrier between us and the outside world. It is our protection, but also our source of connecting to others. If we really mean the hugs we give our family and friends, the quality of this connecting would be very different to what we usually experience.

In our workshop we will be working with this – different kinds of touching, tantric touching, simply connecting to others through touch. Touch should always be totally loving. It can become sensual in the right situations and ultimately it can become sexual with our chosen partners.

In Tantra massage I often work with feathers and silk cloth as well as my hands and body. It gives the skin different sensations and a general sensitizing. I also use the cloth to “blow” the energy over the body, creating a soft, flowing breeze over the skin. Clients, who have experienced this, describe it as something very wonderful. Many have visions of waves or being in nature, it connects our selves to our inner being in a special, sensual way. It is extremely relaxing.

I remember my mom doing this with us on hot, humid Durban summer nights when we could not sleep. She would come into our room and then give alternatively give my sister and I some of this soft wind with the sheet. It was beautiful, comforting, cooling, gentle and loving.

We will endeavor to teach this soft, loving and very tantric touch in our workshop. If we could all learn to touch in this way, we will all become better people. It is a touching of the skin, the body and the heart. When we touch someone’s heart we open them to transformation. My Tantra massage training did that for me and my life has blossomed into being blissful all day, every day, and all the time. Klause's touch, his total acceptance of who I was at the time, his love opened my heart. In the first instance, it opened my heart for myself - I began to experience who I was in a new way and was surprised to find that I liked what I found. Then it opened my heart for others. I stopped expecting the other to be as I wanted them to be and began to accept who they were. Again, I was surprised to find who easy this was once I had accepted myself. This acceptance then grew into this blissful feeling about life in general. I began to see the little things around me, things I had not noticed in such a deep way before.

Just a few days ago in my village now filled with Christmas holiday makers from Mapumalanga and Gauteng, a bakkie of young people drove down my street with loud throbbing music eminating from inside. Outside the youngsters were standing up, allowing the wind to blow directly into their faces filled with smiles and laughter. Tears popped into my eyes. I was joyfull about their happiness, about the fun they were having. I smiled softly as I remembered how it would have been before I came to Tantra: I would have felt aggrivated about the noise. I would have thought how irresponsible this is - someone could fall off if the bakkie had to stop suddenly. Now, I had a sense of their joy and it made me feel joyfull. What a difference loving myself makes to to how I perceive others.

I wish you all a wonderful festive season – enjoy the gatherings, the chatting and the fun, and please do not forget to impart love to all of those that you meet.

I look forward to next year and all the new things that Tantra Sacred Massage and The School of Durga Tantra South Africa has in stall – and there is much to come.

I send you all my love,
Namaste
Leandra

A school journal message from Klaus on The Failing Sense of Touch and the rise of Aggression.

"....today something completely different. Some days ago I read an article, which made me think. In this article, Martin Grunwald, a researcher of the sense of touch and director of the haptic laboratory of the University of Leipzig, Germany says: "Humans can be born blind or deaf into this world, but if their sense of touch is not available and does not function, they are not able to physically exist.”

If science knows such facts why do so many humans resist touch? We have all experienced this resistance to touch: someone approaches you, your neighbor, your college, someone you know who does not belong to your immediate circle of close friends…attempt to embrace this person, it would be considered totally inappropriate. Even simple "handshaking" has already almost become almost extinct. One nods briefly with head, muttering some kind of quick greeting, instead of honestly and clearly wishing the person a good day.
In the USA this is extreme - all form of physical contact being avoided for fear of accusations of sexual harassment.

Charles Spencer, psychologist at the Oxford University, wrote about this in 2005, after his research into the deterioration of the sense of touch. The result of this research and his summery was: increasing aggressiveness and physical force results directly to the deterioration of the sense of tough. This can be noticed by anyone occasionally watching the news or reading a newspaper.

To this, I say NO, and will rather continue to embrace, touch, caress and experience other human individuals on all sensory levels…and time and time again experience the miracle of how simple it is to make a stranger happy.

It is so simple!

All love - Love all
Klaus"

12th December 2006 - Tantric Touch workshop and other news

2006-12-12T21:18:00.000+02:00

12th December 2006

Yesterday a friend said to me "you haven't updated your journal...." and she was right- I had not. It has become a whirlwind life since starting to offer Tantra Sacred Massage in JHB and now also in CT - this takes getting used to for me. When I think of all the busy business people flying around the country, I begin to get a hint of what it really must be like. I am presently working in Cape Town and so it is a new venue, new people, a new place to stay, a new climate and lots of bookings. Again, I have met lovely people.

Interestingly, here in CT, I seem to be getting the most couples booking either the full day or the four hour workshop. It has, as it always is, been intensive work with great people, some with difficulties, some just pretty curious, others already on the path of meditation and in the process of finding a new spirituality in life. As always, Tantra has much to offer on all levels. I still have the rest of this week to go, a one day workshop on Sunday and then on Monday, I fly back home. I won’t be there for long though because….and this is my really big news: only one day after parting from my first Tantra teacher, a new Tantra mentor, as he likes to see himself, came into my life: Ron Solo, all the way from Australia. Here is the story….

We had been "set-up" by Rick of the Marquee in JHB. Ron has been offering Tanta massage and tantric touch at the Marquee for about 6 years on his regular visits to SA. I had been invited by Rick to visit the Marquee, to see if I would consider using the Marquee for workshops, so we had recently met. Then the day after I had made the decision to start my own school of Tantra, I got this phone call from Ron all the way from Australia, and that was the start of an almost daily journey into different aspects of Tantra, tantric touch and Tantra Massage.

The old saying goes: one door closes and another opens!

Ron Solo is extremely experienced – he has been offering Tantra workshops around the globe for over 25 years. He specializes in tantric touch and Tantra Massage and so we have much in common and much to talk about. It has been and is wonderful for me to be able to share and learn, ask questions and question answers in this way. It was then Ron's suggestion that we offer a workshop together, which we are doing: "Keep the Fire Burning - a one day workshop devoted to sensual tantric touch - for men, women and couples" in JHB on 30th December. (See WORKSHOP page for details) I am, needless to say, extremely excited about this and hope to meet some of you there. In the days prior to the workshop, Ron and I will be working together and be learning from each other.

I have been thinking about this: how do we learn? Often it is a case of having the teacher and the learner, the one who knows all and the one who knows little. My original teaching on my tantric path here in SA was like that. In Germany, this dissolved into a general sharing and learning with my Tantra massage trainer, Klaus and his wife Barbara. It was glorious to learn like that. It did not diminish my respect for my trainer, on the contrary, it boosted it. I could be me, I was encouraged to bring in what ever I already knew and at the same time I could learn a whole lot of new stuff with ease. The sign of a good teacher in most forms of adult education, should be like that. This is what impressed me so about Ron Solo. When I asked, "do you mean we should facilitate this workshop together?", his answer was, "of course, I want to also learn from you!" Was I excited! One of the world's best and most renound Tantra coaches wants to learn from me.....this was too good to be true! But it is true - and thus began a journey of sharing via email and phone calls and, yes, it is exactly like that: we learn from each other. It is a dialogue of learning, teaching, sharing. It requires great openness - there is no space for arrogance or fear. You just have to go into it head on in order to learn like this, and unfortunately, a lot of teachers are not willing to expose themselves so far.

Tantra has no hierarchy!
Tantra is no longer a secret path!
Tantra today is an open teaching that grows and benefits the most from genuine sharing.
Tantra is for everyone - you do not need to have a problem to start this path.
Tantra is simple to understand and easy to begin putting into practice in your life.
Tantra is physical - it is about changing conditioning of the mind, but you cannot do that without changing the body memory. The work has to be on both levels.

Any contradiction to this, any suggesting that Tanta is a complicated, secret teaching, any suggestion of false and binding devotion to teachers, any suggestion that you can go on working with a paid tantra teacher for 6 months and more, without addressing the physical, the sensual, the sexual, the body memory or your deteriorated marriage etc., is not Tantra - it is manipulation and money-making.

I feel strongly about this. Tantra does not want to manipulate in any way

In it's purest form it is simply about opening the heart to a deeper love for and a greater celebration of life, while simultaneously opening the body to a free flowing of sexual energy which is our life's force. The very nature of our being is sexual. Removing the tabus around this subject does not make perverts or sex maniacs out of us! Repression however can and far too often does. One usage of our sexual energy is actually sexual. Most of it is for the pure joy of everything we do in life. What healing the heart and healing the body result in is simply, happy human beings, people expressing their creativity in every aspect of life, including in their sexuality.

Sexuality is a celebration - a celebration of love for one's self, love for others, love for life and for the whole of creation.

Namaste
Leandra

26th November 2006 - the birth of The School of Durga Tantra South Africa

2006-11-26T21:10:00.000+02:00

26th November 2006 - Notes on the birth of The School of Durga TantraSouth Africa...

I have just returned from my second working visit to JHB, full of impressions, experiences, teaching and learning. It is a strange thing being taught by a teacher, then becoming a teacher one's self and allowing the learning through the teaching to begin. I stand, once again, in gratitude to the people that have entrusted themselves to my work. I want you all to know, as you grow I grow too. Each encounter with you, each massage experience, allows me to grow in the work and as an individual.

Have you ever experienced this? You are taught by a wonderful person, learn so much, are so grateful, continue on your life’s journey and one day, you see your teacher and know that you have departed from the teaching? The common ground is lost, the love once felt diminished, the respect you had perhaps even attacked - yet the deep feeling of recognition and gratitude for what you were taught and a love in your heart remaining still, strong and faithful…?

My work during the past months has taught me so much. I learn from every one of you coming for Tantra Sacred Massage for my teaching, for Tantra Sacred Massage sessions. I, the teacher, learn and you, the student, teaches. Is that not wonderful? Yes it is! I have learnt to express my understanding of Tantra, what it is, what it is not and how it works during the time since I began Tantra Sacred Massage, growing slowly into the teaching. Existence has given me knowledge and method at times when I, the person, could not have known what I needed to know. It was there, flowing through me and the work. At the same time, my mind watching, thinking, where did I get that from…? Well, Existence always supports one and what you need is there when you need it - if you have the willingness to receive.

With this all, has come a growing in me to the extent that I now leave one of my teachers with this heavy, yet open and willing heart. It is a hard thing to do. It has to be done in order to go further. There will be more teachers, I will always want to continue learning and I look forward to that immensely. I think most of us have gone through such a parting sometime in our lives. The love is there, yet you know you must move on. Your heart feels heavy, yet you know it is free. The gratefulness you feel, does not make the feeling of loss softer. You think you will fall, but you don’t. You walk away, strong and steady towards the unknown with a security that Existence, the Divine, God will always provide.

Tantra traditionally was always a woman’s teaching. As with so many things in our culture, women have lost their power to be what they actually are, lost the knowledge of what they actually know. I now claim this teaching as a woman’s teaching. Others have done it before me, I do it now. In so doing, my own school is in the process of being born: The School of Durga Tantra, South Africa.

Durga is one of the qualities of the Mother Goddess. Durga rides a lion. She is strong, she is a warrior, she is full of passion, she is inspired creativity in every way.

My name Leandra, means The Lion Woman. I was given this name in deep prayer a number of years ago. At the time, I did not understand the meaning it would later have for me. After coming through my own Tantra process, at the time that I took Sannyas with Osho, I remembered. I searched my computer for the document in which I had written it so that I would not forget, and when I found it, I immediately had an affinity to it. It now had meaning.

Then many months later I read about Durga, that she always rides a lion, I read that she stands for strength and creativity while being as passionate as Shakti, another aspect of the Mother Goddess. She carries a sword and has the ferocious quality of Kali, the destroyer of all that is not the Truth (yet another aspect of Mother Goddess) and I knew, I had found my home. It has been some weeks of bearing now, the pregnancy is ended and my School of Durga Tantra is born. I claim these qualities for all the women of this world: the passionate lover, the ferocious warrior, the creative artist, and the feminine image of strength itself – the Durga that lives in us all. The lioness is the only animal that does it all by herself – except for pro-creation. The male lion mates with a number of lionesses in order to secure his genes for the next generation and after the period of mating, he goes his way…until next time perhaps. The lioness hunts and kills, loves and cares for her offspring, lives on her own with her children. She is strong, forceful, soft and gentle all at once.
Recently on a visit to the Eastern Cape, I saw lions close up. The urge to get out the safari van at the sight of such beauty, such softness, such grace, was strong. I wished I could get out and lie next to her and her young. I wanted to caress her as I do my beautiful tom cat at home. I wanted to feel her warmth, hear her breadth, feel her strength. Do you men know this with your woman? Oh yes, you do!

So why do you ask "what about the males, what about us..."? Well, just think of how your life is enhanced by such women! Some of you have forgotten the passions of the love you felt with your first real love. Some of you are blessed with the passion still, after long relationship years. You want this softness yet strength, this ferociousness yet tender passion, this capability to create the home you live in, to create and bear your children, the ability to endure, to withstand whatever hardship you entrust her with. You may feel fear at all this, and roar like the lion keeping his distance from her and her children, but you want it never the less! It is within encounters with such women that you grow, that you become your best….that is, if you are willing to receive from her and show the reverence she deserves.

Durga Tantra is born for women and for men.

Tantra is a woman’s teaching. I am a woman. I teach Durga Tantra to men and women alike. Let us all be strong, creative and deeply passionate about ourselves, about life, about our loved ones!

Namaste
Leandra

17th November 2006 - new premises in Johannesburg and thoughts

2006-11-17T21:14:00.001+02:00

17th November 2006 -

I am in the middle of my second session of bookings in JHB and it is proving, once again, to be a wonderful experience with really great and interesting people. I never thought I would grow to love JHB so much! Everyone is asking if I like the rain and I have to answer, "No, not really, on the KZN south coast we have plenty of it all the time!" But I do love the way the JHB people become really joyful when it rains. One massage session was held in my rooms with a background of thunder outside overriding the soft, sensual and relaxing tantric music that I play throughout the massage. The atmosphere was quite dramatic and the rumbling of nature's force enhanced the massage environment greatly.

The best news however, is that I now work from my own centrally situated premises. It has been a whirlwind visit this time. I arrived on Wednesday, took out a lease on a flat on Thursday, moved in on Friday morning with next to nothing other than a few drapes and a futon bed bought the day before and had my first booking on Friday afternoon. Since then, it has been quite a feat to get the flat set up in the atmosphere I want for my work. Between bookings, I was rushing out to local shopping malls to get sheets, towels, cushions and curtains. It is actually quite amazing how easy it is to set up a sacred, very special space. You can do it easily at home and I suggest you do exactly this. Just think how this will enhance the sensuality and sexuality in your relationship! A few drapes, special towels, a bit of oil or massage crème, soft music in the background and off you go on a magical, sensual journey with your spouse or lover.

Tantrikers don't have sex in the bedroom - which is actually for sleeping. Just think of the difference it can make: instead of leaving sexual activity for the time you actually need to fall asleep, give it a special space and time! Set up a room in your home for this, or take 30 minutes to transform your bedroom with some special drapes, ornaments, flowers and incense and then go into being together lovingly, perhaps massaging first, doing some deep breathing to get your sexual energy grounded (all taught in Tantra Sacred Massage sessions) and then approach the sexual as only a god or goddess should, with reverence for and gratitude towards the other and yourself and see what a difference these few changes make, not only to the expression of your sexuality, but to your relationship in general!

And singles do not have to miss out on this. Do the same for your self-loving. In fact, I teach my clients that self-loving is the first step to tantric sexuality. What is taught in the massage sessions should be practiced alone and then together. Take the time for this - I know life is always busy, but is this not an important aspect of life? Of course it is. So much revolves around the sexual that we should be more earnest in going about making these experiences special indeed.

While I was out shopping today, accompanied by a female tantric friend, we giggled and chuckled at the thought of how many people around the globe were orgasming at that very moment in time! We brought to mind how we are surrounded by the sexual constantly - the birds and bees, trees and flowers outside, constantly busy with sexual activity, granted in matters of pro-creation but then also all (well, most) men always gazing longingly at women, (just look around and you will see their eyes turning this way and that), women chatting about their lovers (if they have one) and then of course, the yearning for intimacy in those who do not live this.

So yes, take the time for sensual and sexual activity, make it special and experience how spiritual this can be. After all, we are all sexual beings and would not be here if sex had not taken place.
Tantra is not all about sex. But it focuses on the sexual as the special quality of life uniting us with the Divine, if we will only allow for this.

Namaste
Leandra

3rd November 2006 - wise words

2006-11-03T21:11:00.000+02:00

3rd November 2006 - wise words

Today I would like to share some very wise words with you by Swami Jnaneshvara, an ordained monk in the Himalayan tradition and the order of Shankaracharya, now living in the USA and an independent emissary of Swami Rama and the Himalayan Tradition. His website is the very best site on meditation and spiritual teachings that I have found on the web. It is well worth visiting, particularly if you are a seeker of the Truth about who you are in relation to Existence, to the Divine. His teachings are easily understandable with many visual diagrams explinations. He also has great infos on how to start meditating from scratch. If you would like to read more, go to www.swamij.com. I highly recommend his website.

WISDOM TO LIVE BY AND SHARE WITH OTHERS

Swami Jnaneshvara

There is only one highest reality and many teachers.

All humans and life arise from the same one source.

All countries, religions and institutions arise from that.

There are many books of wisdom from many ages.

Thinking there is only one way comes from ignorance.

Coercive conversion is violence against other peoples.

The goal of life is found within, not in institutions.

Wisdom, joy and freedom come from inner stillness.

Love all, as we are all waves of the one ocean.

Beautiful is it not? So true and yet we forget these wisdoms so often in our daily lives.

Write this up and past it somewhere where you can read it every day.

Namaste,

Leandra

28th October 2006 - about the people coming to Tantra Sacred Massage

2006-10-28T21:00:00.000+02:00

28th October 2006

It has been a while since I posted news in my journal. The interest in Tantra Sacred Massage is growing fast and I am starting to get really busy. This is wonderful, particularly as the clients who are finding their way to me are all wonderful people (with one exception – more about this later), all seeking in one way or another.

My first week of Tantra Sacred Massage in JHB was great. I was fully booked with a waiting list and my feeling at the end of the week was that it had been a truly meaningful time. I would like to thank all of the clients who found their way to me, for their trust in my work, for their openness and willingness to receive, not only the massage but the love I imparted and the message of Existence’s love in the hours of closeness, intimacy and learning we spent together.

There seems to be four main groups of clients coming to Tantra:

- clients with sexual difficulties such as men with pre-mature ejaculation, women with lack of orgasms, some clients with more general difficulties around intimacy such as lack of emotionality in love making, inability to enjoy close body to body touching or unable to switch off the mind
- married couples wanting rejuvenating in their love life after years of being busy at work and in the home
- men who are feeling lonely in long marriages; children grown up, sex life come to a halt, getting older and a growing fear of loosing potency. Underlying all this, it is the lack of warmth, a longing for touch, being loved and held that is the real motivation
- deeply seeking men who have long felt there is more to life than what they have achieved, what they are living and experiencing in their lives. These are mostly guys who have reached their goals and are basically happy but have a certain emptiness or yearning for something deeper and, in a more real sense, fulfilling.

I had one exception to the really great people I met. My first experience in JHB was a last-minute booking. He came, I assume, expecting something else – an erotic massage a-la "get it over with" type of thing – and was not seeking in any way. He was abusive in that he showed no respect for the goddess I hold within myself. He showed no gratefulness for the love received and no interest in sharing afterwards about the experience. He seemed desperately wanting to “just” orgasm, which he couldn't, and I felt an inner aggression in his body and experienced this in his attitude when he left. Without looking at me he walked past me as I held open the door, saying “cheers” from his back. I felt degraded for a moment and turned to Existence’s unfailing love for comfort. What I realized is that he mostly hurt not me but himself. He degraded himself, behaving nothing like the embodiment of the god he should perceive himself to be. I felt such compassion for him afterwards: I felt his loneliness, his inability to open up to anything real and his utter frustration with who he is and with life in general. Hopefully, the encounter with Existence’s love through Tantra Sacred Massage will touch him in some way sometime in his life, so that he too can find the ever present comfort, love and support that Existence always offers us – if only we are open and willing enough to receive it.

What did I learn from this? Well, firstly there will be no more last-minute bookings in future!
The bit of emailing about booking times and payment seem to be important as a preparation time. Something takes place in the mind (a changing mind-set, a feeling of anticipation, fantasies about what it will be like) and something takes place in the heart (a growing willingness, an openness to receive, a yearning for the experience) and this appears to be so important in the weeks and days before our encounter.

I also learnt that the goddess I embody - the goddess every woman embodies - cannot be degraded in the connectedness to the Divine. The initial feeling of degradation dissolved rashly into a feeling of compassion and sadness. Once again Existence’s love coming through, as it always does when the willingness to receive is at hand. My perception of myself grew through this experience, be it one that I do not want to encounter again.
Here on the KZN south coast, I am also becoming busy. Apart for single men coming mainly from Durban during the week, I have many couples coming over weekends. This work is intense over the 2 days that they are here. In between sessions: the quiet, the sea, the wind, the fish eagle nesting across the river valley, the changing colors of nature - my therapy, my direct link to Existence. Just watching the beauty of it all, the changing colors of nature, showing me time and time again the vastness of what we call life, is so comforting. It allows me a feeling of wholeness, of connectedness with the beauty of it all.

This is also the feeling I have in the work. Tantra Sacred Massage is glorious in every sense! I am so grateful to have been given this gift.

Again, a big thank you to all of you for your receptiveness and faith.
Namasté
Leandra

Tantric Sexuality - 30th September 2006

2006-09-30T19:51:00.000+02:00

Journal, 30th September 2006

I recently had a fellow from JHB who was interested in the massage emailing me explicit photos of naked women and pornographic photos of men and women. This is the difficulty here in SA: Tantra is not well known, there is little information available to the general public and one has to be a seeker or at least have heard of the word Tantra to Google and find the appropriate pages. So there is this general impression here, that this work is another form of eroticism, another form of sexuality and that practitioners of Tantra are either sex workers or sex-hungry, uninhibited individuals who live promiscuous lives! This is not the case, on the contrary: practitioners of Tantra live a form of sexuality that is immersed in awareness, connecting the physical and spiritual to embrace life, all life, in the universal Love that is available to all of us if we only take notice of it and become aware of it. Having said this tantric sexuality is however, only the physical aspect of the work

I wrote to this fellow sending me the pornographic photos, that he had not understood the spiritual aspect of the work and that it was inappropriate to email me such photos. I am neither repulsed by it, nor does it turn me on. All it does is show me where the fantasies of this fellow and possibly his repressions are embedded.
Certainly, tantric sexuality is wonderful, and delving into tantric practice will enhance your sexuality enormously. This is great for both singles and couples alike and Tantra also offers remedies for all aspects of sexual problems. It is not a bad thing to come to Tantra for these reasons. However, the earnest seeker will soon realise the greatness of this work. It is so much more than sexuality. Ultimately, Tantra teaches the transcendence of sexuality. For the seeker, the work starts with his or her sexuality, it continues through alleviating suppressions and all forms of repressions as well as all forms of sexual hurt. It takes you to acceptance of the sexual as something beautiful and natural in life – free of taboos, free of guilt, free of bad associations and dependency - dependancy of relying on sexual activity and success for feeling good about yourself and your life. It leads to free flowing sexual energy that does not require pornographic fantasies or the like. It leads to wonderfully satisfying sexuality in self-loving or with consenting partners and within this, to the spiritual connection between these partners and to life, to Existence itself. In the final stage, it leads to spiritual awakening, to enlightenment – the actual quest of the seeker – in a similar way as years of meditating does.

In fact, tantric sexuality IS meditation!

What is so special about this compared to other forms of spirituality and meditation? This question is often asked. There is nothing else by way of spiritual seeking or healing body work that addresses the sexual as directly as does Tantra. When the sexual is not addressed, not included in the path, many repressions are avoided, not looked at and thus stand in the way of real personal spiritual growth.
The body contains memories of whatever we experience in life, including what we are taught as children and young adults about the badness, the sin of the genitals and our innate, natural sexuality. The part of the body that takes most care of these memories, suppressions and repressions are the genitals – for the very reason that they are not mentally or physically touched on in usual therapeutic efforts to alleviate problems of all kinds. So in this area of the body, these memories and false understandings are kept and held and sometimes not even noticed – although they are constantly affecting our well being. Tantra addresses exactly this. This is what makes it so special, so direct and such excellent work.
Tantra therefore touches the body in a very real way – through the false associations held in the mind and in the body, mentally as well as physically. Practitioners of Tantra have no inhibitions about their own sexuality, having gone through the process themselves. They have no inhibitions talking about sexuality openly, experiencing sexuality, sharing sexuality, teaching sexuality, living sexuality. One form of living sexuality is actually transcending it, getting into the space of not needing it. I have experienced this and it is a very beautiful place to be in, contrary to what most people might believe. Transcendence of the sexual does not mean impotence or frigidity. It means freedom in a very real way. It means a coming home to your independent and individual self, to the real meaning of who you are – a coming home to Truth.
You can come to this work from any level, from the sexual wanting more satisfaction in life or from the seeker's yearning for awakening. What you will find is love, for yourself, for the othe and for all life. It is in this love that you find the answers we in some way all search for: what on earth is this life actually all about?
Working, sleeping, eating, having sex, making babies, living family life and going through some joys and some hardships is what we go through in our human state, but it is not in this that we find the meaning of life. The answer to this question may fall out differently for different individuals, but to me the bottom line is that there is only one Truth about who and what we are and this is only to be found in the spiritual: we are all connected as part of Existence, part of the great Divine, God.

There is no separation between us human beings, between us and nature, between us and Existence.
We are one. This realisation means freedom to me. This freedom means bliss at every level of my being.

Namasté
Leandra

PS I am adding some quotes from a most beautiful book about sacred sexuality which I recently bought: “Kama Sutra – Including The Seven Spiritual Laws of Love” by Deepak Chopra – I need to share this with you.

First of all, the artistic illustrations are really lovely and the book is filled with beautiful verses around the subjects of love and the newly interpreted original Kama Sutra - this was his aim with the book, to translate and interpret the old texts in a new way, than has been in the past.

"All problems related to sex, neurosis, deviancy, violence and abuse, can be traced to resistance, to suppression and repression, not to the sexual urges themselves. If we are allowed to discover our urges, desires and emotions, without outside inhibition, they won't go to extremes.

Extremism, in any form, is a reaction to repression, inhibition and suppression. Aggression and violence are the shadow energies of fear and impotence."
Deepak Chopra

This is what Vatsayayana wrote at the end of his book Kama Sutra (here in the translation of Deepak Chopra):

"Thus have I written in brief the science of love, after reading the texts of ancient authors and following the ways of enjoyment taught by them. One who is acquainted with the true principles of this science plus regard to virtue (Dharma), material success (Artha), and love or pleasure (Kama),
as well as to one's own experiences. Such a one is not driven simply by his own desires. A sexual practice is not right just because it is authorized by the science; keep in mind that these rules given by them, the Kama Sutra was composed according to the precepts of Holy Writ, for he benefit of the world, by Vatsayayana, leading the life of a religious student and wholly engaged in the contemplation of God. This work is not intended to be used merely as an instrument for satisfying our desires. A person acquainted with the true principles of this science, and who preserves his Dharma, Artha and Kama,
and has regard for the practices of society, is sure to obtain mastery over his senses. In short, through seeking three goals of life an intelligent and prudent person, without becoming the slave of his passions, obtains success in everything that he may undertake."

I hope I have made you curious about this great book!

Namasté
Leandra

29th September 2006 - About the massage work

2006-09-29T20:20:00.000+02:00

Journal, 29th September 2006
What with everyone's busy working and family schedules, I have had to realise that it is just not feasible to travel so easily all the way to this remote spot on the KZN south coast for Tantra massage sessions. The massage guests, who have made it here so far, have not been disappointed. It is wonderful to get away from daily life for something as special as Tantra massage, but this usually has to be combined with a holiday or business in Durban or something like that. I love working here. The massage studio is decorated in a personal style, it is my sacred room - I do not only work there, but use the space for meditating, reading my increasing small library of books about Tantra, for resting and letting my thoughts flow or my heart just glow. I am still so in awe of what Tantra has done for me personally, in my life and my whole being. It is a special space.

I realise this will be different in JHB and CT where I am sharing rooms with others. However, I will try to create the atmosphere I need for Tantra Sacred Massage and for the times that I will be there working with massage guests, these shared rooms will become "my" special rooms for this work.

I am looking forward to welcoming you there and to working on an on going basis with some of you. The deepness of the work, the full benefit of what Tantra massage gives you grows with continuous work - or if you like "treatments". The relationship between the giver and the receiver of the massage develops, mutual trust grows and a true opening from heart to heart becomes not only possible, but inevitable. So with this in mind and in my heart, I am looking forward to welcoming you these new massage spaces.

I had the pleasure this last weekend of having a couple here from a far away place in SA for massages. They made use of the overnight accommodation and so had the opportunity to look through some of the books on Tantra that I had placed in their lounge. I found that that added a certain depth to the work. It helped getting Tantra into perspective. They were totally new to Tantra and knew little about it, so I felt this was really a worthwhile aspect of having time here to make use of my small library.

They chose separate massages - actually a good way for a couple to start, each having their own space to experience the massage - and it also gave me the opportunity to connect intuitively to the individual person. The massages were, needless to say different - they always are as Tantra massage does not follow a set scheme.

I felt energised after they had left. Massaging keeps me deeply in my own awareness. I am totally there and my own daily life is somewhere far away, not even in the background. My preparation consists of getting the space ready - the room temperature needs to be warmed (at least at this time of the year - in summer it will have to be cooled!), the oil gets freshly mixed and heated, the music chosen and towels need to be ready etc. Then I take time to meditate and get my own energy "charged up" for the massage. I impart energy during the massage, "lending" mine to the massage guest in order to move theirs, but this imparting of energy does not, cannot reduce my own energy. Once in the massaging, I work deeply intuitively, feeling not only through my hands and body, but with and through my heart, my love. If I do it right, not imparting too much, not withholding anything, I come out of the massage energised. The giver receives too during Tantra work. It is the connection to Existence's universal love that makes this possible.

Tantra massage is about transformation on a very deep level. It gives me such joy to see how glowing, how radiant the guests become after the massage. And I know there will be movement in the days and weeks afterwards. To those of you who misunderstand Tantra as another form of eroticism, I say, you are so wrong. Oh yes, it can be erotic, but it is so much more!

Namasté
Leandra

19th August 2006 - Tantra-Open-Talk on the KZN south coast

2006-08-19T21:22:00.000+02:00

19th August 2006

The last couple of weeks have been wonderful, spent decorating the massage studio and getting ready to begin the work. And the first massage has been given! What a beautiful, deeply moving experience. The honor of touching the other in a tantric way is actually quite indescribable, partly because each guest is unique in body and expression and the massage touches this uniqueness – my experience therefore differs each time I massage. It is deeply moving to embrace this uniqueness in which there is no "norm". Although I am giving the massage, my experience is of receiving. The intimacy of touching the body and heart of another, being totally present in the moment, each moment, is the deepest kind of intimacy I know. It is the willingness to be led by the guest’s uniqueness, every step of the massage that gives such gratification. In this I feel the true sense of humbleness - humbleness towards the beauty, creativity and vastness of Existence.

Very exciting was also the first Tantra-Open-Talk in KZN, held last night on the south coast. It was a small group of people from 27 to 65 years young. The evening was very relaxed - we drank home brewed chi tea, chatted, Tantra-talked and enjoyed a light meal, listened to a bit of Ecstasy, a beautiful Margot Anand music CD.

We spoke about the origin of Tantra, how in Hinduism, Buddhism as well as Christianity there has been a tradition of Tantra. In Christianity it has died out altogether - except for the celibacy aspect of Catholic priests and in the other spiritual traditions it always was a secret practice and usually caused quite a stir. Tantra is revolutionary! It must stir, because it goes against the grain of what is usual practice, no matter what culture or religion. His information was very detailed and yet broad at the same time. Also part of the talk was about how Tantra coming to the west, is largely due to Osho's teachings about the old sacred texts. The first half of the talk concentrated on meditation practice, paths to enlightenment and how Tantra is such a path and other questions around the subject of spirituality and the seeker's striving to Awake. It was rewarding and very informative experience.

I was surprised, would have thought that the interest of participants would have been more about sexual issues and sexuality in general. This did come in the second half of the talk, after a question about how to get non-ejaculatory, multi-orgasms as a man. We were given a history of the sexual development from boy to man and made it very clear how it comes about that men have a rushed attitude about sex: the usual masturbatory practices causing the lingam (penis) to become numbed and only able to "feel" if heavily thrusted. Tantra offers techniques to get the sensitivity back into the lingam. Of course the females in the group were not left in the cold. Part of the talk was also about how the anatomies of the lingam and yoni have exactly the same features and how the functions correspond.

We giggled a bit, laughed a lot and everyone seemed to enjoy the event. It was such a great evening and we are looking forward to the next one!

Namasté
Ma Anand Leandra

4th August 2006 - going online

2006-04-08T21:20:00.000+02:00

4th August 2006

The Tantra Sacred Massage website is going online. We are not quite finished with creating it; however what is completed is now online for you to view. The Journal is a space where I from time to time will place interesting information, thoughts and experiences with and around Tantra Sacred Massage and Tantra generally.

I have been so blessed since starting my journey with Tantra, it is natural to want to share this with others.

I am so excited about this work! What makes it even more exciting, is that already there are enquiries for the massage and also for workshops - that is very encouraging. It shows too, that this work is greatly needed in South Africa - this is the very first Tantra massage service being offered in S.A!

I am deeply grateful to Klaus Smets for the wonderful massage training I enjoyed in Germany earlier this year. I will do my best to do justice to the fineness of his work. Hopefully he will one day come and visit us here with his adorable wife, Barbara, to visit our beautiful country and allow me to spoil them to some delicious massage-specials!

Barbara offers the Hawaiian Lomi Lomi Nui massage and the Lumdura massage in their Tantra Massage School in Wuppertal. The latter, being her own creation, which is a combination of the Hawaiian and the Tantra massage....and guess what, I have already booked my training with her for next year!

I'm beginning my journal with a translation of a text about the sense of touch and aggression which Klaus placed on his school journal. He is so right and what he says so important, I want to share it with you. Below that, I have added a translated text from his website on what Tantra means to him and from what perspective he teaches Tantra Massage.

Namasté
Ma Anand Leandra